“Hey girl, are you a parking ticket?” (joke)
"Hey girl, are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you" is a jocular pickup line that has been printed on many images. "Are you a parking ticket? B/c…
Archive for 06/2017
“If I put the Constitution in my emails, would the government start reading it?
"Maybe if we email the Constitution to each other, the NSA would finally read it?" (or "If I put the Constitution in my emails, would the government start reading it?") is a…
“Maybe if we email the Constitution to each other, the NSA would finally read it?”
"Maybe if we email the Constitution to each other, the NSA would finally read it?" (or "If I put the Constitution in my emails, would the government start reading it?") is a…
“How much does a bottled soft drink cost?”/“About a dollar a pop, soda speak.”
"Soda speak" is a jocular version of "so to speak" and was entered into the Urban Dictionary on May 8, 2013. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on June 16, 2017: Q: How…
“Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream”
"Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream" are motivational lines that have been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in…
“Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream”
"Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream" are motivational lines that have been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in…
“Not sure if my house is creaking for its own personal house reason or I’m about to be murdered”
"Not sure if my house is creaking for its own personal house reason or I’m about to be murdered" is a jocular line that has been printed on an image. The scary "home alone"…
“Light beer? What’s next, non-addictive pain killers?”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Will & GraceWill & Grace is an American sitcom created by Max Mutchnick and David Kohan about the relationship between best friends Will Truman (Eric…
“You say potato, I say vodka”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Will & GraceWill & Grace is an American sitcom created by Max Mutchnick and David Kohan about the relationship between best friends Will Truman (Eric…
“Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic”
"Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic" is a jocular one-line saying about sarcasm that has been printed on many images. Wikipedia: Will & GraceWill &…
“Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream”
"Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream" are motivational lines that have been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in…
“Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring”
"Hustle until the/your haters ask if you're hiring" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Hustle until your haters ask if you're hiring" was…
“All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors”
"All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on…
“Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?”
Entry in progress -- B.P."Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?" is a jocular line that has been
“Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off”
Entry in progress -- B.P. 20 June 2008, Townsville (Queensland) Bulletin, "Psyched Up" by Marie Bella, pg. 207:Borrowing the words from an unknown sage: "Patience is the ability to…
“Oh my God, how can you drink straight orange juice first thing in the morning?”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Will & GraceWill & Grace is an American sitcom created by Max Mutchnick and David Kohan about the relationship between best friends Will Truman (Eric…
“An attractive woman took a seat next to me at a bar…” (joke)
An all-too-real bar joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on June 14, 2017: "An attractive woman took a seat next to me at a bar last night...and brought it to a table of friends." Reddit --…
“Apparently ‘cheesecake & tacos’ wasn’t the answer when he asked me about my weaknesses”
Employment interviewers often ask a job applicant what his or her weaknesses are. A jocular line is: "Apparently 'cheesecake & tacos' wasn't the answer the interviewer was…
“The best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag. So every morning I slap the wife”
"Apparently the best way to get a strong cup of tea is to agitate the bag. So I always slap the wife before she goes into the kitchen!" is a tea joke that has been printed on several…
“How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“None. They just beat the room for being black.”
A "racist police" riddle has been printed on many images: Q: How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?A: They don't. They arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the…