“How much dip would a dipshit shit if a dipshit could shit dip?”
"How much dip would a dipshit shit if a dipshit could shit dip?" (or "How much shit could a dipshit dip if a dipshit could dip shit?") is a jocular line that has been printed on…
Archive for 06/2017
“I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper? She said they’re old school” (joke)
Are newspapers obsolete? "iPad can't replace a newspaper for sure at least in swatting a fly!" was posted on Twitter on September 10, 2010. A joke was posted on Twitter on June 24,…
“Apparently ‘cheesecake & tacos’ wasn’t the answer when he asked me about my weaknesses”
Employment interviewers often ask a job applicant what his or her weaknesses are. A jocular line is: "Apparently 'cheesecake & tacos' wasn't the answer the interviewer was…
“Is it whiskey?”/“Yes, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank.”
A whiskey joke has been printed on many images: "Two Chinese men break into a Scottish distillery. One asks, 'Is it whiskey?' The other says, 'Yes, but not as whiskey as wobbing…
“I have a smart phone with a dumb battery”
"I have a smart phone with a dumb battery" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Smart phone has a dumb battery" was posted on Twitter on April 17,…
“Apparently, rush hour starts the second I put my key in the ignition, no matter what time I leave”
"Apparently, rush hour starts the second I put my key in the ignition, no matter what time I leave" is a jocular one-line saying about rush hour. The saying was posted on Twitter on…
“I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a lightbulb…” (joke)
"I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a light bulb. Then I realized that my life was a joke" is a joke that combine three popular memes. "Has changed a lightbulb,…
“I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a lightbulb…” (joke)
"I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a light bulb. Then I realized that my life was a joke" is a joke that combine three popular memes. "Has changed a lightbulb,…
“I got fired from my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene”
"Without making a scene" means without disruption. A theatre joke is: "I got fired from my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene." The theatre pun has been…
“When I hear somebody sigh that ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’”
"When I hear somebody sigh that 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'" is a jocular line about life's troubles that has been printed on…
“The speed at which I can prepare food during a commercial break is amazing”
"The speed at which I can prepare food during a commercial break is amazing" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Men's…
“The weather is so nice I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run”
When the weather is nice, some people go outside and run, but many people don't run in any weather. A joke is: "The weather is so nice I think I'll go outside and watch other people…
“The weather is so nice I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run”
When the weather is nice, some people go outside and run, but many people don't run in any weather. A joke is: "The weather is so nice I think I'll go outside and watch other people…
“Eating is a necessity, but cooking is an art”
"Eating is a necessity, but cooking is an art" is a cooking saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on May 21, 2013, probably from one of these…
“The speed at which I can prepare food during a commercial break is amazing”
"The speed at which I can prepare food during a commercial break is amazing" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Men's…
“Don’t ask why health food is so expensive. Ask why junk food is so cheap”
"Don't ask why health food is so expensive. Ask why junk food is so cheap" is a food saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter on February 20,…
“I am not a glutton, but I am an explorer of food”
"I am not a glutton -- I am an explorer of food" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is often credited to American humorist Erma Bombeck (1927-1996), but Bombeck…
“The fridge broke, so I had to eat everything”
"The fridge broke, so I had to eat everything" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The line was said on the American television sitcom Friends, "The One with…
“It was so windy that when I was walking to the gym, I got blown into the wine store”
"It was so windy that when I was walking to the gym, I got blown into the wine store" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "It was so windy that when I…
“Food is our common ground, a universal experience”
"Food is our common ground, a universal experience" is a food saying that has been printed on many images. American chef and cookbook author James Beard (1903-1985) wrote the line in his…