"Men are like chocolate bars -- sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips" is a jocular saying about men. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on January 7, 1998.…
"You can never be sure how many beers you had last night" has been called the "Heineken Uncertainty Principle" -- a physics pun on Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. The…
"I came from a tough neighborhood," American stand-up comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) used to say. "In the local restaurant, I sat down and had broken leg of lamb."…
“A chef is a man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day" is a jocular definition of a chef and a simplistic explanation of soup. The joke was printed in The…
"Webster notwithstanding, in our opinion a restaurant waffle is pancake with a non-skid tread" was printed in a June 1923 newspaper. "A waffle is a pancake with a non-skid…
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am" -- a drunk "spoonerism" version of "I'm not as drunk as you think I am" -- is a one-line saying that has been printed on…
"Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned" is a jocular anti-exercise saying that has…
"To err is human; to forgive, divine" is from Alexander Pope's An Essay on Criticism (1711) . "To eat is human; to drink wine divine" is a food parody that was printed in…
"I drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I can't move for months" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke has been cited since at least 1952,…
An old joke has a husband eating a meal that was cooked by his wife. "This meal is fit for a king!" he tells his wife, then he calls the family dog. "Here, King! Come on, boy! Here,…
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One popular riddle is: Q: Who are the world's…
American Jewish families have valued education. Brooklyn-born comedian, actress and television host Joan Rivers (1933-2014) was quoted in a Washington (DC) Post profile on June 11, 1986: "When…
American humorist Lewis Grizzard (1946-1994) listed several "rules to follow when ordering in an unfamiliar restaurant" in his newspaper column on April 11, 1986. The first rule was:…
A joke about autocorrection is: "I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime." "Punchline" was changed to "lunchtime." The joke was posted on…
"Polo" is a game. "Pollo" is Spanish for "chicken." "Marco Polo" is a game played in a pool, and there are 'Marco Pollo" jokes. "The kids in…
"Never chase someone. Chase your dreams, then they will follow" is a popular motivational saying. "Stop chasing people.. Chase your dreams & if it's meant to be they will…
"I can't wait until I retire so I can get up early on a morning and drive around really slowly making everyone late for work" is a jocular saying about retirement. The saying was…
"A diet is something that helps a person gain weight more slowly.—Bill Copeland" is a jocular line about dieting that was printed in February 1976 newspapers. "A diet is what helps…
"To err is human; to forgive, divine" is from Alexander Pope's An Essay on Criticism (1711) . "To eat is human; to digest, divine" is a food parody. "To eat is human.…
Is chicken salad made "of" a chicken or made "for" a chicken? A joke is: "I made a chicken salad today. Cheeky bastard didn't even eat it." The joke was posted on…