“Thirst come, thirst served” (bar saying)
"Thirst come, thirst served" is a drinking pun on "first come, first served" that has been printed on several images. "Thirst Come, Thirst Served" was printed in the…
Archive for 05/2017
“Zucchini: Vegetable that can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it”
A jocular definition of zucchini is: "Zucchini: Vegetable that can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it." The jocular definition was posted to the newsgroup…
“What’s a math teacher’s favorite drink?”/“Root beer.”
A math riddle is: Q: What's a math teacher's favorite drink?A: Root beer. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2016. “If you put root beer in a square cup, does it become…
“What’s a math teacher’s favorite dessert?”/“Pi.”
A math riddle is: Q: What's a math teacher's favorite dessert?A: Pi(e). The joke has been cited in print since at least 2008 and has been printed on several images. Yahoo! Answers…
“What’s a math teacher’s favorite dessert?”/“Pi.”
A math riddle is: Q: What's a math teacher's favorite dessert?A: Pi(e). The joke has been cited in print since at least 2008 and has been printed on several images. Yahoo! Answers…
“Fairy tales are real. I drink a potion made from magic beans and it brings me back to life”
"Don't ever let anyone tell you that fairy tales aren't real. I drink a potion made from magic beans every day, and it brings me back to life" is a jocular coffee saying that…
“Coffee is my duct tape. It fixes everything!”
"Coffee is my duct tape. It fixes everything!" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Coffee is my duct tape. It can fix just about anything" was posted on…
“What’s a math teacher’s favorite drink?”/“Root beer.”
A math riddle is: Q: What's a math teacher's favorite drink?A: Root beer. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2016. “If you put root beer in a square cup, does it become…
“All I want is someone to love me like I love coffee”
"All I want is someone to love me like I love coffee" is a one-line coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on March 2, 2014. Twitter♡ sam…
“Procaffinator, n., One who puts off tasks until after the first cup of coffee or tea”
"Procaffinator, n., One who puts off tasks until after the first cup of coffee or tea" -- a portmanteau of "procrastinator" and "caffeine" -- is a jocular coffee…
“Home is where the heart is”
"Home" was a popular subject for early 19th century poetry. "The heart which forms the home" is a line in the poem "Solitude" that was published in The Literary…
“What is a cannibal’s favorite restaurant?”/“Five Guys.”
A cannibal and also a restaurant riddle is: Q: What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?A: Five Guys. There have been many jokes on the "Five Guys" name. "Um, we didn't…
“Work hard, put the hours in, and the boss will have an even better car next year”
An employment joke has been printed on many images: My boss pulled up in his new BMW."Nice car" I saidHe replied, "Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one…
“The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5”
"The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5" -- that is, the five days of Monday through Friday -- is a jocular saying that…
“Red Bull and Vodka. Because you want to be wide awake for this mistake”
"Red Bull and vodka -- because you want to be wide awake for this mistake" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The combination is sure to keep just about anyone wide awake.…
“If you push Continental breakfast tables together, do you get a Pangaea breakfast?”
If you combine all the continental breakfast tables together, would that make for a supercontinental (Pangaea or Pangea) breakfast? "If this is the Continental breakfast, I'd hate to see…
“Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically”
"Home is where the heart is" is an old saying. "Home is where you can connect to the Wi-Fi automatically" or "Home is where the/your Wi-Fi connects automatically" is a…
“The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5”
"The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5" -- that is, the five days of Monday through Friday -- is a jocular saying that…
“I recently came into a large sum of money” (joke)
"I recently came into a large sum of money" is the first line of a Not-Sate-For-Work joke. "I came into some money recently...............fussy bloody shopkeeper wouldn't take…
“You don’t have much of a case” (damaged luggage joke)
A legal joke about damaged luggage is: "I wanted to sue airline because they damaged my luggage. I showed the damaged remains to my lawyer. He said, 'You don't have much of a…