“Thanks to Millennials I now have to specify if I want my coffee hot or cold”
"Coffee" has almost always meant "hot coffee," and "iced coffee" is "cold coffee." However, "coffee" orders now require the information…
Alphebetical for "t"
“Thanks to the people that said it’s fine to allow your pets to sleep on your bed. My goldfish is now dead”
Should pets be allowed in bed? This joke was posted on Facebook by John Booth (and others) on October 10, 2021: "Thanks to the people that said its fine to allow your pets to sleep on your…
“Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won’t be necessary”
Many food products come in resealable packaging. The joke is when someone eats the entire package and the resealable feature is not necessary. "Cadburys Clusters come in a resealable pack.…
“Thanksgiving calories don’t count”
"Thanksgiving calories don't count" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Thanksgiving dinner is an important part of the holiday. "Calories don't count…
“Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year”
A "Thanksgiving Sermon" has been cited since the 1860s, and begins: "My Friends: Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the…
“Thanksgiving dinner eating takes 12 minutes, which coincides with halftime”
American humorist Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) wrote in her syndicated newspaper column in November 1988 about Thanksgiving dinner: "Do men ever really appreciate what women have to go through to…
“Thanksgiving dinner eating takes 12 minutes, which coincides with halftime”
American humorist Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) wrote in her syndicated newspaper column in November 1988 about Thanksgiving dinner: "Do men ever really appreciate what women have to go through to…
“Thanksgiving dinner is a unique experience. It’s like an orgy that’s rated G”
"Thanksgiving dinner is a unique experience. It's like an orgy that's rated G" was published in 2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches (1984) by Robert Orben. The Thanksgiving…
“Thanksgiving is for those who take time to remember; no one can give thanks who has a short memory”
A thanksgiving saying credited to "anonymous" has been printed on many images: "Thanksgiving is possible only for those who take time to remember; no one can give thanks who has a…
“Thanksgiving is nothing if not a glad and reverent lifting of the heart to God”
"Thanksgiving is nothing if not a glad and reverent lifting of the heart to God in honor and praise for His goodness" is a popular Thanksgiving saying that has been cited in print since…
“Thanksgiving Rules: 1. Do not go into debt trying to show people how much you love them…”
Three jocular "Christmas Rules" (sometimes titled "Thanksgiving Rules" or "Holiday Rules") have been printed on many images. These "Holiday Rules" were…
“Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day”
"Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day" is a popular Thanksgiving saying that has been cited in print since at least 1961. It is usually credited to Robert Casper…
“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants”
"Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants," American actor Kevin James joked. The quotation has been printed on many images and has been included in many Thanksgiving quotation…
“Thanksgiving, to be truly Thanksgiving, is first thanks, then giving”
"First Thanks, Then Giving" sermons were made at several churches during Thanksgiving in November 1957. A full Thanksgiving expression was published in the book Speaker's Desk Book…
“Thar’s gold in them thar hills”
"Thar's gold in them thar hills" (or "There's gold in them thar hills") is a clichéd saying, supposedly originating in American gold mining of the 19th century. There…
“That ‘I’m off tomorrow’ sleep be hitting totally different”
"That 'I’m off tomorrow' sleep hit(s) different" is a saying that has been printed on many images. When there's no work the next day, a person can usually sleep later,…
“That ‘I’m off tomorrow’ sleep hit different”
"That 'I’m off tomorrow' sleep hit(s) different" is a saying that has been printed on many images. When there's no work the next day, a person can usually sleep later,…
“That ‘I’m off tomorrow’ sleep hits different”
"That 'I’m off tomorrow' sleep hit(s) different" is a saying that has been printed on many images. When there's no work the next day, a person can usually sleep later,…
“That awful moment when you realize you left your to-go box on the table at the restaurant”
Forgetting about taking a "to-go" box home from a restaurant can be sad, but it's common. "#RetweetThis if you've ever eaten at a restaurant, asked for a to go box, and…
“That awkward moment when you are not sure if you actually have free time, or you’re just forgetting everything”
"I'm never sure if I actually have free time or if I'm just forgetting everything I have to do" (or "I'm never sure if I actually have free time or if I just keep…