“Thank Goodness It’s Friday” or “Thank God It’s Friday” (TGIF)
T.G.I. Friday's restaurant started in 1965 in New York City and, with Maxwell's Plum, was one of the nation's first "singles bars." ("Singles bar" has been cited…
Alphebetical for "t"
“Thank goodness it’s raining again… My mud was getting dehydrated”
"Thank goodness it's raining again... My mud was getting dehydrated" (or "Thank God it rained! My mud was getting dehydrated") is a sarcastic saying about getting a lot of…
“Thank you for calling the incontinence hotline. Please hold”
Many people call a business, only to hear, "Please hold!" "Incontinence Hotline - please hold" is a joke that was posted on the newsgroup rec.arts.theatre.musicals on June 9,…
“Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us”
"Thank you for contacting [X]. Your call is very important to us" is a company's standard automated telephone message. A joke was posted on X/Twitter by Blue Berrymore (the account…
“Thank you, 5” (“Thank you, five”)
"Thank you, five" (or "Thank you, 5") is a theater saying that has been printed on many images. A stage manager walks around just before the opening curtain and says, "Five…
“Thank you, ATM fees, for allowing me to buy my own money”
Many people hate a bank’s ATM fee. "Shout out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Thank you, ATM fees, for allowing me to…
“Thank you, Cheese Nips, for being a delicious cracker & not the name of a strip club in Wisconsin”
Cheese Nips is the name of a cheese-flavored cracker. The product has nothing to do with nipples, but there are jokes. "Thank you, cheese nips, for being delicious crackers and not the name of…
“Thank you, craft beer, for making my alcoholism seem like a neat hobby”
"Thank you, craft beer, for making my alcoholism seem like a neat hobby" is a jocular line that has been printed on T-shirts and ecards. The original line -- with "micro…
“Thank you, five” (“Thank you, 5”)
"Thank you, five" (or "Thank you, 5") is a theater saying that has been printed on many images. A stage manager walks around just before the opening curtain and says, "Five…
“Thank you, student loans. How will I ever repay you?”
"Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college. I don't think I can ever repay you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Dear Student Loans…
“Thanks a melon” (thanks a million + melon)
"Thanks a melon" (thanks a million & melon) is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Thanks a melon" was posted on the newsgroup rubberstamps on July 1, 1998.…
“Thanks to Covid, my glove box is now my mask box”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks. The glove box in people's cars became a mask box. "Not yet but my vehicle glove box is now a…
“Thanks to Millennials I now have to specify if I want my coffee hot or cold”
"Coffee" has almost always meant "hot coffee," and "iced coffee" is "cold coffee." However, "coffee" orders now require the information…
“Thanks to the people that said it’s fine to allow your pets to sleep on your bed. My goldfish is now dead”
Should pets be allowed in bed? This joke was posted on Facebook by John Booth (and others) on October 10, 2021: "Thanks to the people that said its fine to allow your pets to sleep on your…
“Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won’t be necessary”
Many food products come in resealable packaging. The joke is when someone eats the entire package and the resealable feature is not necessary. "Cadburys Clusters come in a resealable pack.…
“Thanksgiving calories don’t count”
"Thanksgiving calories don't count" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Thanksgiving dinner is an important part of the holiday. "Calories don't count…
“Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year”
A "Thanksgiving Sermon" has been cited since the 1860s, and begins: "My Friends: Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the…
“Thanksgiving dinner eating takes 12 minutes, which coincides with halftime”
American humorist Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) wrote in her syndicated newspaper column in November 1988 about Thanksgiving dinner: "Do men ever really appreciate what women have to go through to…
“Thanksgiving dinner eating takes 12 minutes, which coincides with halftime”
American humorist Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) wrote in her syndicated newspaper column in November 1988 about Thanksgiving dinner: "Do men ever really appreciate what women have to go through to…
“Thanksgiving dinner is a unique experience. It’s like an orgy that’s rated G”
"Thanksgiving dinner is a unique experience. It's like an orgy that's rated G" was published in 2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches (1984) by Robert Orben. The Thanksgiving…