“Thank you, ATM fees, for allowing me to buy my own money”
Many people hate a bank’s ATM fee. "Shout out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Thank you, ATM fees, for allowing me to…
Alphebetical for "t"
“Thank you, Autumn, for being Fall’s stripper name”
"Autumn" can sound like a stripper name. "Thank you fall for occasionally going by the name autumn, just like my cousin megan who became a stripper" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“Thank you, Cheese Nips, for being a delicious cracker & not the name of a strip club in Wisconsin”
Cheese Nips is the name of a cheese-flavored cracker. The product has nothing to do with nipples, but there are jokes. "Thank you, cheese nips, for being delicious crackers and not the name of…
“Thank you, craft beer, for making my alcoholism seem like a neat hobby”
"Thank you, craft beer, for making my alcoholism seem like a neat hobby" is a jocular line that has been printed on T-shirts and ecards. The original line -- with "micro…
“Thank you, five” (“Thank you, 5”)
"Thank you, five" (or "Thank you, 5") is a theater saying that has been printed on many images. A stage manager walks around just before the opening curtain and says, "Five…
“Thank you, student loans. How will I ever repay you?”
"Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college. I don't think I can ever repay you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Dear Student Loans…
“Thanks a melon” (thanks a million + melon)
"Thanks a melon" (thanks a million & melon) is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Thanks a melon" was posted on the newsgroup rubberstamps on July 1, 1998.…
“Thanks to Covid, my glove box is now my mask box”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks. The glove box in people's cars became a mask box. "Not yet but my vehicle glove box is now a…
“Thanks to Millennials I now have to specify if I want my coffee hot or cold”
"Coffee" has almost always meant "hot coffee," and "iced coffee" is "cold coffee." However, "coffee" orders now require the information…
“Thanks to the people that said it’s fine to allow your pets to sleep on your bed. My goldfish is now dead”
Should pets be allowed in bed? This joke was posted on Facebook by John Booth (and others) on October 10, 2021: "Thanks to the people that said its fine to allow your pets to sleep on your…
“Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won’t be necessary”
Many food products come in resealable packaging. The joke is when someone eats the entire package and the resealable feature is not necessary. "Cadburys Clusters come in a resealable pack.…
“Thanksgiving calories don’t count”
"Thanksgiving calories don't count" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Thanksgiving dinner is an important part of the holiday. "Calories don't count…
“Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year”
A "Thanksgiving Sermon" has been cited since the 1860s, and begins: "My Friends: Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the…
“Thanksgiving dinner eating takes 12 minutes, which coincides with halftime”
American humorist Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) wrote in her syndicated newspaper column in November 1988 about Thanksgiving dinner: "Do men ever really appreciate what women have to go through to…
“Thanksgiving dinner eating takes 12 minutes, which coincides with halftime”
American humorist Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) wrote in her syndicated newspaper column in November 1988 about Thanksgiving dinner: "Do men ever really appreciate what women have to go through to…
“Thanksgiving dinner is a unique experience. It’s like an orgy that’s rated G”
"Thanksgiving dinner is a unique experience. It's like an orgy that's rated G" was published in 2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches (1984) by Robert Orben. The Thanksgiving…
“Thanksgiving is all family and fun until someone has to wash the dishes”
Thanksgiving might be fun, but what about all those dishes that need to be washed? "This Thanksgiving, my thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who has to do the dishes" (shown on an…
“Thanksgiving is for those who take time to remember; no one can give thanks who has a short memory”
A thanksgiving saying credited to "anonymous" has been printed on many images: "Thanksgiving is possible only for those who take time to remember; no one can give thanks who has a…
“Thanksgiving is nothing if not a glad and reverent lifting of the heart to God”
"Thanksgiving is nothing if not a glad and reverent lifting of the heart to God in honor and praise for His goodness" is a popular Thanksgiving saying that has been cited in print since…
“Thanksgiving Pro Tip: Never eat any food offered to you by an adorable toddler relative…”
At a family Thanksgiving get-together, a toddler often offers others some food, but it could be a dubious offering. This was posted on X/Twitter by Sara Says Stop on November 21, 2017, and it…