“Today is the day I’m going to give it my SOME”
"Today I am going to give it my some" (or "Today I'm going to give it my some") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The usual saying would be,…
Alphebetical for "t"
“Today is the day that I do everything tomorrow!”
"Today is the day that I do everything tomorrow!" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is completely procrastinating on all work. "Today is the day that I do…
“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday..”
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Google Groups:…
“Today is the first day of the rest of your life”
Entry in progress -- BP Wikiquote: TodayQuotesToday is the first day of the rest of your life.. Attributed to Charles Dederich by The Washington Post (December 10, 1978), p. C5. He was the founder…
“Today my car clock is right again. My patience has finally paid off”
"Today my car clock is right again. My patience has finally paid off" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker never changed the car clock an hour…
“Today we march, tomorrow we vote”
"Today we march, tomorrow we vote" was chanted at United States immigration reform protests on May 1, 2006. Many of the marchers said the slogan in Spanish -- "Hoy Marchamos, Mañana…
“Today would have been my birthday if I was born today”
"Today would have been my birthday if I was born today" (or "Today would've been my birthday if I was born today") is a saying -- with variations -- that has been printed…
“Today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today”
"Today would have been my birthday if I was born today" (or "Today would've been my birthday if I was born today") is a saying -- with variations -- that has been printed…
“Today, I found a penny. It reminded me of you” (joke)
"Today, I found a penny. It reminded me of you -- worthless and found in everyone's pants" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "Found a penny on the ground today and…
“Today, I went for a walk with a beautiful girl. Then she noticed me, so we went for a run”
A joke about going for a walk -- then a run -- was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 22, 2019: "Today I went for a walk with a beautiful girl. Then she noticed me so we went for a run."…
“Today, I will be as useless as the ‘g’ in lasagna”
"Today, I will be as useless as the 'g' in lasagna" -- an Italian food word where the letter is silent -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "You're as…
“Today, I woke up and realized my muffin top has become a pound cake”
"My muffin top is now a pound cake" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker has gone from fat in the middle (muffin top) to fat all around (pound cake).…
“Today, someone told me that I look good with a salt-and-pepper beard. I took that as a condiment”
“He said, ‘You remind me of a pepper pot.’ I said, ‘I’ll take that as a condiment’” is a joke that has been told by many British comedians. There are other condiment variations.…
“Today’s achievements, if any, will be brought to you by caffeine, sarcasm and sheer stubbornness”
"Today's achievements, if any, will be brought to you by caffeine, sarcasm and sheer stubbornness" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "FYI: Today's…
“Today’s advice: Sing Christmas carols at work until they send you home”
"Today's advice: Sing Christmas carols/songs at work until they send you home" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. That is, maybe the boss will be in the…
“Today’s advice: Sing Christmas songs at work until they send you home”
"Today's advice: Sing Christmas carols/songs at work until they send you home" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. That is, maybe the boss will be in the…
“Today’s Agenda: Let the dog in - Let the dog out - Let the dog in - Let the dog out”
Many people seemingly live for their dogs every single day. "Agenda for the day: - Let the dog in - Let the dog out - Let the dog in - Let the dog out - Let the dog in" is a joke that has…
“Today’s American Dream is to be left the fuck alone”
The American dream is "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, the Declaration of Independence states. To many people, the American dream is simply to be left alone, free of government…
“Today’s date is 7/11, which is convenient”
7-Eleven is an American international chain of convenience stores. "Today's date is 7/11 which is convenient" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 11, 2017. "TODAYS DATE IS…
“Today’s forecast calls for a 100% chance of coffee!”
"Today's forecast calls for a 100% chance of coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "wet&dreary nh morn. And a 100% chance of coffee NOW!" was…