“Today, I will be as useless as the ‘g’ in lasagna”
"Today, I will be as useless as the 'g' in lasagna" -- an Italian food word where the letter is silent -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "You're as…
Alphebetical for "t"
“Today, I woke up and realized my muffin top has become a pound cake”
"My muffin top is now a pound cake" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker has gone from fat in the middle (muffin top) to fat all around (pound cake).…
“Today, someone told me that I look good with a salt-and-pepper beard. I took that as a condiment”
“He said, ‘You remind me of a pepper pot.’ I said, ‘I’ll take that as a condiment’” is a joke that has been told by many British comedians. There are other condiment variations.…
“Today’s achievements, if any, will be brought to you by caffeine, sarcasm and sheer stubbornness”
"Today's achievements, if any, will be brought to you by caffeine, sarcasm and sheer stubbornness" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "FYI: Today's…
“Today’s advice: Sing Christmas carols at work until they send you home”
"Today's advice: Sing Christmas carols/songs at work until they send you home" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. That is, maybe the boss will be in the…
“Today’s advice: Sing Christmas songs at work until they send you home”
"Today's advice: Sing Christmas carols/songs at work until they send you home" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. That is, maybe the boss will be in the…
“Today’s Agenda: Let the dog in - Let the dog out - Let the dog in - Let the dog out”
Many people seemingly live for their dogs every single day. "Agenda for the day: - Let the dog in - Let the dog out - Let the dog in - Let the dog out - Let the dog in" is a joke that has…
“Today’s American Dream is to be left the fuck alone”
The American dream is "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, the Declaration of Independence states. To many people, the American dream is simply to be left alone, free of government…
“Today’s date is 7/11, which is convenient”
7-Eleven is an American international chain of convenience stores. "Today's date is 7/11 which is convenient" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 11, 2017. "TODAYS DATE IS…
“Today’s forecast calls for a 100% chance of coffee!”
"Today's forecast calls for a 100% chance of coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "wet&dreary nh morn. And a 100% chance of coffee NOW!" was…
“Today’s forecast: 100% chance of coffee”
"Today's forecast calls for a 100% chance of coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "wet&dreary nh morn. And a 100% chance of coffee NOW!" was…
“Today’s Forecast: Sunrise, sunset and some shit in between”
"Today's Forecast: Sunrise, sunset and some shit in between" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "So... Today's forecast - Sunrise, sunset and some…
“Today’s Forecast: Sunrise, sunset and some stuff in between”
"Today's Forecast: Sunrise, sunset and some shit in between" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "So... Today's forecast - Sunrise, sunset and some…
“Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees, and then kindness”
"Today's goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees, and then kindness" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker needs a coffee to calm nerves…
“Today’s good mood is brought to you by coffee”
"Today’s good mood is sponsored by coffee" (or "Today's good mood is brought to you by coffee") is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Today’s good mood is sponsored by alcohol”
"Today's good mood is sponsored by vodka" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Today's Good Mood Is Sponsored by Alcohol" was posted on Google Books in…
“Today’s good mood is sponsored by beer”
"Today's good mood is sponsored by beer" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Todays good mood is sponsored by Beer" was posted on Twitter by Mr. Bryan on May…
“Today’s good mood is sponsored by coffee”
"Today’s good mood is sponsored by coffee" (or "Today's good mood is brought to you by coffee") is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Today’s good mood is sponsored by vodka”
"Today's good mood is sponsored by vodka" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Todays Good Mood Sponsored By Vodka - BazaarTshirts" was posted on Twitter by…
“Today’s good mood is sponsored by wine”
"Today's good mood is sponsored by wine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Today's good mood is sponsored by Wine! haa haa" was posted on Twitter by…