“Toothpaste before orange juice equals death”
Brushing one's teeth with toothpaste and then drinking orange juice results in an unpleasant taste, but it's usually not fatal. "Beer before liquor, never sicker" is an old…
Alphebetical for "t"
“Tootsie Rolls are just chocolate Starbursts”
A Tootsie Roll is a chocolate-like, taffy-like candy, first made in 1907. A Starburst is a box-shaped, fruit-flavored soft taffy candy, first manufactured in the 1960s. "Apparently Tootsie…
“Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages. Need I say more?”
"Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages. Need I say more?" is a jocular line about marriage that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“Top Ramen implies the existence of Bottom Ramen”
Nissin Foods produces Top Ramen noodles; there is no "Middle Ramen" or "Bottom Ramen," but there are jokes. “I’m so broke, I can only afford Bottom Ramen” is a related…
“Topology implies the existence of bottomology and versology”
Topology is concerned with the properties of a geometric object that are preserved under continuous deformations. There is no "bottomology," but there are jokes. "since there's…
“Topology implies the existence of bottomology, and they both study holes”
Topology is concerned with the properties of a geometric object that are preserved under continuous deformations. There is no "bottomology," but there are jokes. "since there's…
“Topology implies the existence of bottomology”
Topology is concerned with the properties of a geometric object that are preserved under continuous deformations. There is no "bottomology," but there are jokes. "since there's…
“Tops are a process and bottoms are an event” (Wall Street adage)
"Tops are a process and bottoms are an event" is a Wall Street adage that refers to the top and the bottom of a market (such as the stock market). Mark McMillan wrote in 2012:…
“Tornado warning in central Texas! Everyone head to Cowboys Stadium. No chance of a touchdown there”
A joke about the Dallas Cowboys football team is: "Tornado warning in central Texas! Everyone head to the Cowboys stadium...no chance of a touchdown there." The joke was posted on Twitter…
“Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it”
"Put your hair (up) in a bun, drink some coffee and handle it" (or "Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it") is a motivational saying…
“Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some music and handle it”
"Put your hair (up) in a bun, drink some coffee and handle it" (or "Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it") is a motivational saying…
“Tostadas are just flat tacos”
Several Mexican foods have been described as "flat tacos." Tostadas are most frequently described as flat tacos, but the description has also been applied to chalupas, Mexican pizza,…
“Tough love”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Tough love The phrase tough love is believed to have originated with Bill Milliken's book of the same title in 1968. It is an expression used when someone…
“Tough shit if you do not eat enough fiber”
"Don't get enough fiber? Tough shit" was posted on the newsgroup alt.religion.kibology on October 8, 1996. The joke was popularized by stand-up comedian Jimmy Carr on the British…
“Tough times don’t last, tough people do”
"Tough times never last, but tough people do!" is the title of a 1983 book by Robert Harold Schuller.The book popularized the phrase, often slightly changed to "tough times…
“Tough tomatoes!”
"Tough tomato" described a tough boxer ("one tough hombre" is now used) by as early as 1922. Jack Conway of Variety had described club fighters (with more heart than physical…
“Tougher than a two-dollar steak”
The columnist Molly Ivins described Ann Richards as "tougher than a two-dollar steak." The steak phrase is an old one and not confined to Texas. The price of the steak has varied through…
“Toughest job I ever had was as a door to door salesman, selling doors” (joke)
There is a joke about a door-to-door salesman who had an especially hard job -- he sold doors, "Dad has the hardest job in the world. He's a door-to-door salesman selling doors" was…
“Tourists are terrorists with cameras; terrorists are tourists with guns”
Romanian-born American poet and commentator Andrei Codrescu wrote in The Muse Is Always Half-Dressed in New Orleans: And Other Essays (1993): "Tourists are terrorists with cameras, while…
“TP hoarding explained: Some people will be eating their own cooking for the first time in years”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused panic buying of toilet paper. Many people were puzzled by this. "Toilet paper hoarding explained...some people will be eating their own cooking for…