“Too thin to plow, too thick to drink” (Rio Grande)
"Too thin to plow, too thick to drink" has been said of many rivers, such as the Missouri River, the Colorado River (before it was dammed), the Platte River, the Powder River, as well as…
Alphebetical for "t"
“Too tired to work. Too poor to quit. Too old for a sugar daddy. Too fat to strip”
"Too young for retirement. Too poor to quit. Too fat to strip" is a work saying that has been printed on several images. "So I continue" is added, far at the bottom. "To…
“Too young for retirement. Too poor to quit. Too fat to strip”
"Too young for retirement. Too poor to quit. Too fat to strip" is a work saying that has been printed on several images. "So I continue" is added, far at the bottom. "To…
“Too young to retire. Too poor to quit. Too fat to strip”
"Too young for retirement. Too poor to quit. Too fat to strip" is a work saying that has been printed on several images. "So I continue" is added, far at the bottom. "To…
“Took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name”
Starbucks coffeehouses ask for a customer's name when the order is taken. "Took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on…
“Took a tip to buy shares in fermented apple juice. Got accused of in cider trading”
"In cider trading" is a pun on "insider trading." "I was thrown out of the London Stock Exchange for standing in a bucket of Scrumpy, apparently there's rules against…
“Took my own lunch to work and didn’t buy a coffee today so I should be able to afford to buy a house any day now”
Some people believe that they can save a lot of money if they bring lunch to work and don't buy coffee. This was posted on X/Twitter by andy on April 6, 2022, and received over 287,000 likes:…
“Toot and scramble” (tout ensemble)
"Toot and scramble" is a jocular Americanism for the French "tout ensemble" (all together). "Toot on scramble" was cited in 1853 and "toot and scramble" was…
“Toothpaste before orange juice equals death”
Brushing one's teeth with toothpaste and then drinking orange juice results in an unpleasant taste, but it's usually not fatal. "Beer before liquor, never sicker" is an old…
“Tootsie Rolls are just chocolate Starbursts”
A Tootsie Roll is a chocolate-like, taffy-like candy, first made in 1907. A Starburst is a box-shaped, fruit-flavored soft taffy candy, first manufactured in the 1960s. "Apparently Tootsie…
“Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages. Need I say more?”
"Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages. Need I say more?" is a jocular line about marriage that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“Top Ramen implies the existence of Bottom Ramen”
Nissin Foods produces Top Ramen noodles; there is no "Middle Ramen" or "Bottom Ramen," but there are jokes. “I’m so broke, I can only afford Bottom Ramen” is a related…
“Topology implies the existence of bottomology and versology”
Topology is concerned with the properties of a geometric object that are preserved under continuous deformations. There is no "bottomology," but there are jokes. "since there's…
“Topology implies the existence of bottomology, and they both study holes”
Topology is concerned with the properties of a geometric object that are preserved under continuous deformations. There is no "bottomology," but there are jokes. "since there's…
“Topology implies the existence of bottomology”
Topology is concerned with the properties of a geometric object that are preserved under continuous deformations. There is no "bottomology," but there are jokes. "since there's…
“Tops are a process and bottoms are an event” (Wall Street adage)
"Tops are a process and bottoms are an event" is a Wall Street adage that refers to the top and the bottom of a market (such as the stock market). Mark McMillan wrote in 2012:…
“Tornado warning in central Texas! Everyone head to Cowboys Stadium. No chance of a touchdown there”
A joke about the Dallas Cowboys football team is: "Tornado warning in central Texas! Everyone head to the Cowboys stadium...no chance of a touchdown there." The joke was posted on Twitter…
“Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it”
"Put your hair (up) in a bun, drink some coffee and handle it" (or "Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it") is a motivational saying…
“Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some music and handle it”
"Put your hair (up) in a bun, drink some coffee and handle it" (or "Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it") is a motivational saying…
“Tostadas are just flat tacos”
Several Mexican foods have been described as "flat tacos." Tostadas are most frequently described as flat tacos, but the description has also been applied to chalupas, Mexican pizza,…