“This New Year’s Eve, remember to drink and wander around your house responsibly”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic caused many people to celebrate New Year's Eve at home. The usual cautions of "stay safe" and "drink responsibly" didn't…
Alphebetical for "t"
“This next song is about subtraction. Take it away, boys”
"My next song is about subtraction. Take it away..." was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on January 10, 2011. The joke originated on the Sickipedia website. "This next song is…
“This office will not tolerate redundancy in this office”
"This office will not tolerate redundancy in this office" is a jocular office sign. The office joke has been cited in print since at least 2002. Forumosa.comMe English get badderPostby…
“This orange juice says shake well before drinking…” (drinking joke)
Some juice drinks (such as orange juice) require a shake before drinking. A joke on this was posted on Twitter by MikeP on August 19, 2015: "This orange juice says shake well before drinking.…
“This pandemic ain’t over until Costco starts serving free samples again”
Costco (a big-box retail store chain) became famous for offering its members free samples of some products, but this was suspended in 2020 during the Covid-19 (coronavirus) pandemic.…
“This pandemic is exactly why I hated group projects in school”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic required cooperation from everyone. The situation reminded many people of group projects in school (where some people did no work). "For anyone who hated…
“This printer is now called Bob Marley because it’s always jammin’”
"This copier/printer/shredder is now called Bob Marley because it's a;ways jammin'" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images and posted on many…
“This Quarantine is getting old. So old, in fact, that is it starting to become a Quaranadult”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many quarantines. There is no "teen" in the word "quarantine," but some have used "quaranadult" (quarantine + adult). A…
“This recipe says to separate two eggs, but it doesn’t say how far to separate them”
Some recipes state to separate eggs. "This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them" was printed in the book Say Good…
“This republic was not established by cowards; and cowards will not preserve it”
"This republic was not established by cowards; and cowards will not preserve it" is a saying that has been printed in many images. American news reporter and author Elmer Davis…
“This rum tastes like I’ll be texting you later”
"This beer/ margarita/ rum/ tequila/ vodka/ whiskey/ wine tastes like I'll be texting you later" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "@MezMerrett: This…
“This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat”
"This salad tastes like I'd rather be fat" is an anti-salad saying that has been printed on many images. "!!!! RT '@Jay_FrickinLynn: This salad tastes like I'd rather…
“This sofa can seat 6 people without any problems.”/“Where can I find 6 people without problems?”
A salesman joke was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on AUgust 13, 2020: "I bought a new sofa yesterday. The assistant told me it will seat 6 people without a problem.... Where the fuck am I going…
“This spring I’m looking for someone who has the same allergies as I do”
"This spring I'm looking for someone who has the same allergies as I do" is a spring saying that has been printed on an ecard. "This Spring, I'm looking for someone who has…
“This spring I’m looking for that special someone who has the same allergies I do”
"This spring I'm looking for someone who has the same allergies as I do" is a spring saying that has been printed on an ecard. "This Spring, I'm looking for someone who has…
“This system got y’all thinking ‘legal’ means ‘right.’ Reminder: Slavery was ‘legal’”
Many laws are bad, written by rich and powerful interests. "The system got y'all thinking 'legal' means 'right.' Reminder: Slavery was 'legal'" is a…
“This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch”
There is no Scotch whisky in scotch tape, but there are jokes. "Scotch tape doesn't taste like scotch. NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT" was posted on Twitter by Joey Headset on February 2,…
“This tequila tastes like I’ll be texting you later”
"This beer/ margarita/ rum/ tequila/ vodka/ whiskey/ wine tastes like I'll be texting you later" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "@MezMerrett: This…
“This tequila tastes like I’m about to tell you how I really feel”
"This beer/tequila/vodka/whiskey/wine tastes like I'm about to tell you how I really feel" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The whiskey saying was…
“This tequila tastes like I’m not going to work tomorrow”
"This tequila tastes like I'm not going to work tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Wow, this tequila tastes like I'm not going to work…