“There’s nothing more mean spirited than the average ghost”
"The average ghost is mean spirited" was posted on the website PunoftheDay.com on October 29, 2010. "There’s nothing more mean spirited than the average ghost" was posted on…
Alphebetical for "t"
“There’s one rule in life and one rule in cooking; when in doubt, add some more wine”
"When in doubt, add/drink more wine" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. "When in doubt, add more wine" was posted on Twitter by h2orocks4001 on February 28,…
“There’s this guy who’s apparently my ‘brother,’ but I’ve never once seen him make broth”
The word "brother" doesn't have anything to do with a person who makes "broth," but there are jokes. "If you look at the word 'brother' just a few times it…
“Thermopylae had her messenger of defeat, but the Alamo had none”
"Thermopylae had her messenger of defeat, but the Alamo had none." The comparison of the events of the Alamo (1836) to the Battle of Thermopylae (480 B.C.) occurred as early as 1836. This…
“Thermostrocka Mortimer” or “Thermostrocker Mortimer” (Cactus Pryor)
"Thermostrocka Mortimer" (or "Thermostrocker Mortimer") is the broadcasting signoff of longtime Austinite Richard "Cactus" Pryor. Pryor's words are believed to be…
“These 2 day weekends are starting to feel a lot like 30 minute lunches”
"These weekends are starting to feel like a 30 minute lunch break" is a saying that has been printed on many images. For many people who work weekdays, the weekend seems to go by too…
“These Black Friday sales need to get a lil blacker for me”
"These Black Friday sales need to get a lil blacker for me" is a saying that has been printed on many images. By "blacker," the speaker means that the sales need to be better,…
“These days govt. is a four-letter word”
"These days govt. is a four-letter word" means that "govt." (government) can be obscene. "These govt. is a four letter word" (the word "days" appears to be…
“These days you can’t even say ‘black paint’ any more” (NSFW joke)
A political correctness joke (probably NSFW) states that you cannot say "black paint." That is usually an adjective and a noun, but the joke has it as a noun and a verb. "Apparently…
“These days you gotta have a job for the bills & another job for yourself”
"These days you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the economy is so bad, people need two jobs just to…
“These days you gotta have a job for the bills and another for yourself”
"These days you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the economy is so bad, people need two jobs just to…
“These egg prices better not affect the Cadbury ones”
The bird flu caused eggs to become expensive. Cadbury Creme Eggs are different than regular eggs, but there are jokes. "These egg prices better not affect the Cadbury ones" was posted on…
“These fruit delivery trucks are driving me bananas”
"Driving me bananas" usually means "driving me crazy," but some jokes involve literal driving of bananas. "First day running my family fruit and veg delivery service and my…
“These Korean meatballs really are the dogs bollocks”
"Korean meatballs -- they really are the dogs bollocks" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on many images. English comedian Hugh Dennis said on the British topical, satirical…
“These pretzels are making me thirsty”
"These pretzels are making me thirsty!" is a one-line saying about pretzels that has been printed on many images. The line is a catchphrase from the New York-themed television sitcom…
“These so-called speed bumps are a joke. If anything, they slow you down”
A "speed bump" is to slow a vehicle's speed, not give give a "bump" to increase a vehicle's speed. A joke was printed in Viz Magazine (UK) in 1999: "These…
“These weekends are starting to feel like 30 min lunch breaks”
"These weekends are starting to feel like a 30 minute lunch break" is a saying that has been printed on many images. For many people who work weekdays, the weekend seems to go by too…
“These weekends are starting to feel like a 30 minute lunch break”
"These weekends are starting to feel like a 30 minute lunch break" is a saying that has been printed on many images. For many people who work weekdays, the weekend seems to go by too…
“Thesis implies the existence of thebro”
A "thesis" has nothing to do with a "sister" or "sis," but there are "thebro" (from "brother" or "bro") jokes. "What do you call a…
“They all laughed when I wore one puff pastry boot. But now the choux’s on the other foot”
Choux pastry has had many "choux is on the other foot" puns. "Accidentally stepped on a chocolate eclair someone had dropped. The cream squirted onto my left trainer and the choux…