“The Lord giveth and the government taketh away”
"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away" is in Job 1:21 of the Bible. "The Lord giveth and the government/IRS taketh away" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed…
Alphebetical for "t"
“The Lord giveth and the Internal Revenue Service taketh away”
"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away" is in Job 1:21 of the Bible. "The Lord giveth and the government/IRS taketh away" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed…
“The Lord giveth and the IRS taketh away”
"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away" is in Job 1:21 of the Bible. "The Lord giveth and the government/IRS taketh away" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed…
“The Lord moves in mysterious ways, but you don’t have to. Please use your blinker”
"The Lord moves in mysterious ways, but you don’t have to. Please use your blinker" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Mysterious Ways" is a song by the Irish…
“The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5”
"The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5" -- that is, the five days of Monday through Friday -- is a jocular saying that…
“The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5”
"The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5" -- that is, the five days of Monday through Friday -- is a jocular saying that…
“The lottery is a wonderful thing; it lays the taxation only on the willing”
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) wrote in "Thoughts on Lotteries," February 1826: "Money is wanting for a useful undertaking, as a school, &c., for which a direct tax would be…
“The lottery is essentially crowd funding for a random person to become a multi-millionaire”
The lottery has been compared to crowdfunding. "If you think about it, the lottery is just a form of crowdfunding. You're just funding some random person hoping it'll going to be…
“The loudest way to open a bag of chips is to try to open it quietly”
"The loudest way to open a bag of chips is to try to open it quietly" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Instead of one brief loud noise, opening the bag slowly creates…
“The Lower Rio Grande Valley is a great place to live—it’s so close to the United States”
The Lower Rio Grande Valley is heavily influenced by Mexico. A current joke is: "The Lower Rio Grande Valley is a great place to live. It's so close to the United States." The joke…
“The lowest ranked door-to-door salesperson is awarded a knockwurst”
Knockwurst has nothing to do with knocking on a door, but there are jokes. "If you're gonna burst through the door unannounced, waving a German sausage, knockwurst!" (meaning…
“The luck is gone, the brain is shot, but the liquor we still got”
"The luck is gone, the brain is shot, but the liquor we still got" was said by the actor Bryan Brown in the movie Cocktail (1988). "The money's gone, the brain is shot, but the…
“The luckiest horse wins the Derby, the fastest horse the Preakness, the best horse the Belmont”
The United States Triple Crown of Thoroughbred Racing starts with the Kentucky Derby (at Churchill Downs in Louisville, Kentucky), then goes to the Preakness Stakes (at Pimlico Race Course in…
“The Lysol commercial told me to disinfect the things I touch the most. This is going to burn”
"A Lysol commercial just said to disinfect the thing you touch the most. Fuck!!! This is gonna burn" is a jocular line that was posted on Twitter by Mark on February 20, 2011. "THE…
“The magic of Christmas never ends and its greatest of gifts are family and friends”
"The magic of Christmas never ends, and its greatest of gifts are family and friends" is a Christmas saying that has been printed on many images. "The Magic of Christmas never ends…
“The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out”
"The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor.puns on March 8, 2002. Magicians often pull a rabbit from a hat; "pull his…
“The magician said to take a card, any card. So I took his credit card”
"The magician said to take a card, any card. So I took his credit card" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "RT @FunnyJoker: A street magician came up to me at the…
“The mail must go through” (postal service adage)
"The mail must go through" is a phrase that exemplifies the hardships and successes of 19th century mail carriers, such as the pony express (1860-61). The saying was popularized by…
“The main function of the little toe is to make sure that all the furniture is in place”
"The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the furniture in the house is in place" -- another way of saying that the toe often bumps into the furniture --…
“The main ingredient in hand sanitizer is paranoia”
"The main ingredient in hand sanitizer is paranoia" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Nat is a total germophobe. She could single-handedly keep the…