“The high school music teacher told his students to read band books”
"Banned books" is sometimes punned as "band books." "Did John Philip Sousa read band books? #bannedbooks" was posted on Twitter on September 24, 2012. "The high…
Alphebetical for "t"
“The high-jump event is basically reverse limbo”
In limbo, the object is to go under a bar that gets lower and lower. In the high jump, the object is to go over a bar that gets higher and higher. "I just called high jump 'reverse…
“The higher the hair, the closer to God”
Recording artist k. d. lang said in 1989: "If there's one thing to be learned in Nashville it's thing: The higher the hair, the closer to God." The saying (also given as…
“The higher you go, the better the snow” (skiing adage)
"The higher you go, the better the snow" is a skiing adage. The saying was promoted by the Austrian Tourist Office in 1981 as a way to get skiers to Austria's mountains. Other…
“The highest honor in journalism is being murdered by the CIA”
"Contrary to popular belief, the Pulitzer Prize isn't the highest award in journalism. It is being killed by the CIA" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the…
“The highways of life are full of flat squirrels who couldn’t make up their minds”
"Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“The highways of life are full of flat squirrels who couldn’t make up their minds”
"Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“The homework is due Monday.”/ “Can I get an extension?”/ “The homework is due Monday.png.”
A homework joke was posted on Twitter by Thomas The Reaper (a now suspended account) on April 18, 2016: The homework is due on Monday."Can I get an extension?"The homework is due on…
“The horse doesn’t know what its odds are” (horse racing adage)
"The horse doesn't know what its odds are" is a horse racing adage of unknown authorship. "A horse doesn't know what the odds are" was said in 1971 by a fan called…
“The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip”
"The horse I bet on was so slow," an old joke goes, "that the jockey kept a diary of the trip." The joke was credited to Jewish-American singer and actor Al Jolson (1886-1950)…
“The hospital you were born in is the only building you leave without entering”
"Also, night thought: the hospital you were born in is the only building you’ll leave but not have entered" is a saying that was posted on Twitter on March 31, 2017. "The hospital…
“The hot air hurts my face”
"The air hurts my face. Why am I living where the air hurts my face?" -- usually meaning that the winter air is very cold, possibly causing frostbite -- is a saying that has been printed…
“The hotel towels were so thick, I could hardly close my suitcase”
Many people steal hotel towels. A joke was told in the column "The Hotel Guest" by Jack Geyer, in the Los Angeles (CA) Times on November 19, 1956: "In New York I wound up at one of…
“The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who…maintain their neutrality”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Inferno (Dante)Inferno (Italian for "Hell") is the first part of Dante's Divine Comedy. The poem was written in the early 14th century. It is an…
“The hour we lose this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym”
"The hour we lose/lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym" is a jocular saying about Daylight Saving TIme that has been printed on many images. "The hour…
“The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym”
"The hour we lose/lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym" is a jocular saying about Daylight Saving TIme that has been printed on many images. "The hour…
“The hours between coffee and wine really are pointless”
"The hours between coffee and wine really are pointless" (or "The hours between coffee and wine really have no purpose") is a saying that has been printed on many images. These…
“The hours between coffee and wine really are pointless”
"The hours between coffee and wine really are pointless" (or "The hours between coffee and wine really have no purpose") is a saying that has been printed on many images. These…
“The House has affairs; the Senate has relations”
The House of Representatives is sometimes called the people's house (because of direct elections), but the Senate (the subject of direct elections only since a 20th century amendment) has long…
“The house isn’t under construction—kids just live here”
"The house isn't under construction -- kids just live here" is a popular house sign. "The house isn't under construction...kids just live here" has been cited in print…