“My doctor said to stay away from trans fats, so I left tumblr”
Tumblr is a social networking website that has been popular with the LGBTQ community and with people who post recipes. "Trans fats" does not mean "fat transsexuals," but a joke…
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“My doctor told me to cut down on sodium. I took his advice with a pinch of salt”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- cleanjokesMy doctor told me to cut down on sodium. (self.cleanjokes)submitted March 15, 2018 by chacham2I took his advice with a pinch of salt.
“My doctor told me to drink a glass of wine after a hot bath…” (joke)
Supposedly, doctors sometimes advise patients to drink something (wine, carrot juice, lemonade or something else) after taking a hot bath. A popular joke was first published in The Humorist…
“My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said ‘less McDonald’s’”
"My doctor said I should eat more Taco Bell. He actually said 'Less McDonald's', but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant" was posted on Twitter by Hakim Givens on…
“My doctor told me to lower my carbs. So now I eat my chips sitting on the floor”
A doctor's instruction to "lower carbs" means to lower carbohydrate intake. but a joke misunderstands this. "My doctor told me to lower my carbs. So now I eat my chips sitting…
“My doctor told me to take up an activity that gets me out of the pub. So I’ve started smoking”
Most pubs do not allow smoking. A joke was posted on the Sickipedia website on January 30, 2012: "My doctor said I need to do something that gets me out of the pub. So I've started…
“My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror”
"I saw my doctor. He told me to watch my drinking," New York-based comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) said in his act. "Now I drink in front of a mirror." It's not…
“My dog ate my homework and then a migrant ate my dog”
In September 2024, a Springfield, Ohio pet-eating rumor was that Haitian immigrants were eating people's pets (cats and dogs). A new spin was provided on the jocular student homework excuse,…
“My dog ate my homework and then an immigrant ate my dog”
In September 2024, a Springfield, Ohio pet-eating rumor was that Haitian immigrants were eating people's pets (cats and dogs). A new spin was provided on the jocular student homework excuse,…
“My dog isn’t spoiled, I’m just well trained”
"My dog isn't spoiled, I'm just well trained" (or "My dog's not spoiled, I'm just well trained") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“My dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn’t contribute to this house or know what a government is
"My dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn’t contribute to this house or know what a government is" was posted on Twitter by sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) on February 15, 2022. The tweet…
“My dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn’t contribute to this house or know what a government is”
A dog or a cat can sigh a lot, but their owners often wonder why that is, when pets have no responsibilities. "My dog sighs as if she has bills to pay" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills”
A dog or a cat can sigh a lot, but their owners often wonder why that is, when pets have no responsibilities. "My dog sighs as if she has bills to pay" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“My dog sighs a lot for someone who has no bills or any responsibilities”
A dog or a cat can sigh a lot, but their owners often wonder why that is, when pets have no responsibilities. "My dog sighs as if she has bills to pay" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me”
"My dog understands several human words. I don't understand any dog barks. He/She may be smarter than me" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "My dog understand…
“My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. She may be smarter than me”
"My dog understands several human words. I don't understand any dog barks. He/She may be smarter than me" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "My dog understand…
“My dog, who does not pay rent or bills and is, himself, a bill, has sighed three times in the past five minutes”
A dog or a cat can sigh a lot, but their owners often wonder why that is, when pets have no responsibilities. "My dog sighs as if she has bills to pay" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“My dog’s not spoiled, I’m just well trained”
"My dog isn't spoiled, I'm just well trained" (or "My dog's not spoiled, I'm just well trained") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“My dogs are the reason I wake up every morning. Really freakin’ early. Every. Single. Morning”
"My dogs are the reason I wake up every morning. Really freakin' early. Every. Single. Morning" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My dogs are the reason…
“My dream is to eat at the little table that comes on top of pizza” (meme)
A "pizza saver" (also called a "pizza table" or "pizza stool") is a small plastic table-like object in the middle of a pizza in a pizza box, to prevent the lid from…