“My dad’s sister works in a Paris bakery and hates it. She’s a cross aunt”
"Croissant" sounds a bit like "cross aunt." "Yes, if we were in Paris, we'd deserve a French Toast."/"And if our uncle's wife got mad at us, we'd…
Alphebetical for "m"
“My dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow”
"My dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue/barbeque to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow" -- that is, from very bad to very good -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on…
“My dance style ranges from white dad at a barbeque to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow”
"My dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue/barbeque to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow" -- that is, from very bad to very good -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on…
“My daughter asked why she can’t just quit school and I told her it’s against the law…”
A joke about compulsory school was posted on X/Twitter by ceciATL on Januay 28, 2021, and this received over one million likes: "My daughter asked why she can’t just quit school and I told…
“My daughter said she saw a deer on the way to school. How did she know it was going to school?”
A school joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on October 17, 2020: "My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.Me: 'How do you know it was going to school?'"…
“My debit card is starting to feel like a gift card…‘not sure how much is on this but try it’”
"My debit card is starting to feel more like a gift card.... 'not sure how much is on this but we'll give it a try'" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“My deer cloning operation has succeeded! I can finally make a quick buck”
Making a "quick buck" has nothing to do with deer, but there are jokes. "I think I've perfected a speedy way of cloning deer. I should make a quick buck" was posted on…
“My dental plan is basically me chewing on the side of my mouth that doesn’t hurt”
Many people cannot afford to go to the dentist. To avoid dental pain, they chew on the other side of their mouth (the side that doesn't hurt). "Thinking of going back to my old dental…
“My dental plan is, ‘I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on’”
Many people cannot afford to go to the dentist. To avoid dental pain, they chew on the other side of their mouth (the side that doesn't hurt). "Thinking of going back to my old dental…
“My dentist said my teeth were stained and then asked me, ‘Do you smoke or drink coffee?’”
A joke about stained teeth was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 23, 2020. "My dentist said my teeth were stained and then asked me 'Do you smoke or drink coffee?' I said ...…
“My desire to be well-informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane”
“My desire to be well-informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane” is a saying that has been printed on many images. The most popular image is a cartoon by David Sipress, and he…
“My desire to stay well-informed is at odds with my desire to stay sane”
“My desire to be well-informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane” is a saying that has been printed on many images. The most popular image is a cartoon by David Sipress, and he…
“My dessert just threw itself off the table. It was a lemming meringue pie”
Lemon meringue pie shouldn't be confused with lemming meringue pie, but there are jokes. "Q. What is yellow and white, and throws itself off the dining table? A. A lemming meringue"…
“My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones”
A jocular "diet plan" was posted on X/Twitter by MELapalooza 🐈⚽️🎶🍾 on August 10, 2025: "My diet plan is sometimes when im eating chips I drop some on the floor and I…
“My diet today: 1% real food, 99% Halloween candy”
"My diet today: 1% real food, 99% Halloween candy" -- a jocular expression after Halloween trick-or-treating -- is a one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "My diet…
“My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room”
"My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room" is a jocular one-line dessert saying that has been printed on images. "Tom introduced the concept of dinner stomach…
“My diving school has gone under”
A company that's bankrupt and closes is said to have "gone under" (as if buried). There are several diving company/school jokes. "Friend's had to cancel his deep sea diving…
“My doctor advised me against eating very burnt bread. I am black toast intolerant”
"Lactose intolerant” is sometimes jocularly called “black toast intolerant.” "My Daddy can't eat that toast, he is black toast intolerant" was posted on the newsgroup…
“My doctor said I need to eat more greens, so I’m switching to mint chocolate chip ice cream”
People are sometimes advised to eat more “greens” (such as vegetables). Mint chocolate ice cream -- which is "green" -- is usually not part of that diet, but there are jokes. "My…
“My doctor said to stay away from trans fats, so I left tumblr”
Tumblr is a social networking website that has been popular with the LGBTQ community and with people who post recipes. "Trans fats" does not mean "fat transsexuals," but a joke…