“My family told me to get help for my drinking…so I hired a bartender”
"My family told me to get help for my drinking...so I hired a bartender" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "My family said ‘get help for my drinking’…
Alphebetical for "m"
“My family’s in the iron and steel business” (joke)
"My family's in the iron and steel business," goes an old joke. "My mother irons and my father steals." The joke appeared in a college humor magazine in 1930 (the Google…
“My family’s leaving me because of my obsession with horse racing. And they’re off!”
"They're off!" is a famous starting call in horse racing. "My wife and daughter are leaving because of my obsession with horse racing. And they're off!" was posted on…
“My farts always smell like butterscotch. They smell like butt or scotch”
The New York-based television comedy sketch show Saturday Night Live did a parody ad of actor Gary Busey for Directv, on a show that aired on October 11, 2003: "Here's a little piece of…
“My father owned a coal company, but mostly kept it to himself. Mined his own business”
"Mind your business" shouldn't be confused with "mined your business," but there are jokes. "I sell coal for a living because I took everyone's advice and mined…
“My father used to say, ‘You don’t always get what you pay for’” (joke)
"You don't always get what you pay for" is an old saying. A joke version was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on May 28, 2021: "My father used to say, 'You don't always…
“My father uses reddit. I guess it’s heredditary”
"Heredditary" (hereditary + reddit) is a portmanteau word to describe a family that uses the American social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website.…
“My father walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One version -- an anti-joke -- is: "A man walked into a bar...and stayed there for the…
“My father worked ten hours a day to put food on the table. Great dad, very slow cook”
"My father worked ten hours a day to put food on the table. Great dad, very slow cook" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Mark Simmons on February 13, 2020. The joke is that…
“My father’s answer to everything was alcohol. He didn’t drink; he was just shit at quizzes”
"My father's answer to everything was alcohol. He didn't drink; he was just shit at quizzes" is a jocular saying about alcohol. "I've got a friend whose answer to…
“My favorite animal is steak”
"My favorite animal is steak" is a line that has been credited to American author Fran Lebowitz and reprinted in many books about food and humorous quotations. Lebowitz probably…
“My favorite California city is Austin, Texas”
Austin is a city that is often more liberal than most of Texas. Many people from California have moved to Austin. "My favorite California city is Austin...and it just so happens to be smack…
“My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills”
"My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "What is your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills"…
“My favorite co-worker is the coffee machine”
"My favorite co-worker is the coffee machine" is a work saying that has been printed in many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on September 6, 2014. “Coffee is my favorite…
“My favorite co-worker is the coffee machine”
"My favorite co-worker is the coffee machine" is a work saying that has been printed in many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on September 6, 2014. “Coffee is my favorite…
“My favorite color is Christmas lights”
"My favorite color is Christmas lights" is a Christmas saying that has been printed on many images. "My favorite color is Christmas lights" was posted on Twitter by…
“My favorite color is food”
"My favorite color is food” is a jocular pizza saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that the person loves food so much, a favorite color is a taste. "My mama…
“My favorite color is October”
"My favorite color is October" is a seasonal saying that has been printed on many images. Fall foliage can display many different colors. "Photo: October is my favorite color :D…
“My favorite color is pizza”
"My favorite color is pizza" is a jocular pizza saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that the person loves pizza so much, a favorite color is a taste. "My…
“My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about us”
"My favorite conspiracy theory is that the government cares about you" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. The saying (with various version) became…