“My child, my choice”
"My child, my choice" is a parents' rights saying that has been printed on many images. The saying often refers to the choice of vaccinating a child, and can refer to educational…
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“My children are like inmates at a jail: They eat for free, they are all innocent…”
"My children are like inmates at a jail: They eat for free, they are all innocent and they don't like the warden" is a jocular saying that has been printed on an image. "has…
“My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong customer…”
"All Chinese people look alike to me" is a popular saying of what has been called the "cross-race effect." A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 24, 2020: "My…
“My church accepts all denominations—fivers, tenners, twenties”
"My church accepts all denominations -- fivers, tenners, twenties" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Our Aunt Julie says her church accepts all denominations…
“My church serves noodles at communion. We’re Ramen Catholic”
"Roman Catholic" has nothing to do with "ramen," but there are jokes. "The infamous Ramen Catholic Church, where they use noodles for communion" was posted on the…
“My city’s potholes will change your radio station and unlock your doors”
Many places have car-changing potholes. "Chattanooga potholes will change your radio station , lock your doors , end the transmission and pop holes in 3/4 tires" was posted on Twitter by…
“My coffee and I are currently discussing whether we even want to participate in today”
"My coffee and I are currently discussing whether we even want to participate in today" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is getting the morning…
“My coffee is stronger than your feelings”
"My coffee is stronger than your feelings" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker has strong coffee to help endure opposing views. "My coffee is…
“My coffee looked at me this morning and told me, ‘Sorry I don’t do miracles’”
"My coffee looked at me this morning and told me, 'Sorry I don't do miracles'" is a coffee saying that has been printed on several images. "Even the coffee this…
“My coffee needs coffee”
"My coffee needs coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. Twitter Alex Chou@LXChouOn Monday mornings like this, I feel like my coffee needs a coffee.5:15 AM · Jul…
“My colleague can no longer attend next week’s Innuendo Seminar, so I have to fill her slot”
"My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead. http://sickipedia.org/joke/1562991" was posted on Twitter on April 14, 2014. The…
“My colleague is playing heavy metal at work. He’s totally office rocker”
"Off his rocker" (meaning a crazy person) sounds like "office rocker." "My boss traded in his desk chair for a recliner & became addicted to playing 'Guitar…
“My colleagues at work have given me the nickname ‘Mr. Compromise’” (joke)
"My nickname is Mr. Compromise. Thats what all my friends call me. Though it's not the name I would have picked for myself...it's alright, I guess" is a joke that was posted on…
“My college graduation was in an arena, and it was hot in there, like 5,000 degrees”
Many college graduations are held inside in arenas, where over 1,000 degrees may be handed out. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 26, 2017: "My college graduation was held inside the…
“My compliments to the gardener” (said at a vegan/vegetarian restaurant)
"My compliments to the chef" is what a diner might say to a waiter after a good restaurant meal. At a vegan/vegetarian restaurant, the meal is mostly vegetables. "At a vegetarian…
“My computer crashed. Now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see what’s happening”
A joke comparing a crashed computer to a crashed car -- and rubbernecking delays -- was posted on Twitter on August 5, 2013: "My computer crashed and now all the other computers have slowed…
“My computer has a virus and is only showing ads for American Eagle, GAP and Urban Outfitters…”
"Malware" should not be written or pronounced like "mall-wear," but there are jokes. "RT @TJSullivanLA: It's pronounced mal-ware, not 'mall-wear.' 1st virus…
“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor”
American comedian Phyllis Diller is credited with a popular Thanksgiving line: “My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” The Japanese military attack…
“My COVID-19 is the most weight I’ve gained since my Freshman 15”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in home lockdowns. Many people did not get enough exercise and ate a lot, gaining weight similar to a college student's "freshman 15"…
“My cow died last night, so I don’t need your bull”
"My cow died last night, so I don't need your bull" is a phrase of uncertain origin. It's so familiar in some parts that "My cow died last night" is all that needs to…