“If you see something, steal something”
"If you see something, say something" is a New York anti-terrorism slogan. "See something, steal something" is a variation that was posted on Twitter on March 24, 2010. "If…
Alphebetical for "i"
“If you see the play happen, you have missed the picture” (sports photography adage)
"If you see the play happen, you have missed the picture" (or "If you see the action, you missed it") is a sports photography adage. A sports photographer must know the sport…
“If you see your glass half empty, pour it into a smaller glass and stop bitching”
"If you see your glass half empty, pour it into a smaller glass and stop bitching/complaining" is a drinking saying that has been printed on many images. "If you see the glass as…
“If you see your glass half empty, pour it into a smaller glass and stop complaining”
"If you see your glass half empty, pour it into a smaller glass and stop bitching/complaining" is a drinking saying that has been printed on many images. "If you see the glass as…
“If you see your glass half empty, pour it into a smaller glass”
"If you see your glass half empty, pour it into a smaller glass and stop bitching/complaining" is a drinking saying that has been printed on many images. "If you see the glass as…
“If you serve your kids frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for dinner, you’re a terrible parent” (joke)
"If you serve your kids frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for dinner, you're a terrible parent. I don't care how busy you are--find the time to microwave that shit" was posted on…
“If you shoot it, you eat it” (hunting adage)
"If you shoot it, you eat it" is not a hunting requirement, but it is a saying that some hunters use. "If you shoot it -- you gotta eat it" has been cited in print since at…
“If you show your papers to attend a Remembrance Day ceremony, you’ve already forgotten”
Remembrance Day (November 11th) recalls the end of the First World War. "If you show your papers to attend a Remembrance Day ceremony, you’ve already forgotten" is a saying that has…
“If you sin 90 times you’ll only get caught 50% of the time because sin90 = cot45”
"If you sin 90 times, you get caught 45 times. Because sin90 = cot 45!" was posted on Twitter by Abhijeet R.Bhalerao on August 28, 2010. This is a math joke about "sine"…
“If you sleep with the elephants, you can’t cover the circus” (journalism adage)
"If you sleep with the elephants, you can't cover the circus" has developed into a newspaper adage. In 1977, it was discovered that New York (NY) Times writer Laura Foreman had been…
“If you snooze, you lose”
"If you snooze, you lose" has been the advertising pitch of many in retail sales. Tom Parsons' Best Fares (bestfares.com), based in Irving, Texas, has long used (since the 1980s) the…
“If you somehow choke to death on an ice cube, nobody would know how you died”
"Has anyone ever choked to death on an ice cube? If so, did it confuse the fuck out of the coroner?" was asked on Reddit -- AskReddit on December 20, 2010. "Is it possible to die…
“If you spill paint on your lawn, you can watch paint dry and grass grow at the same time”
Both "watching paint dry" and "watching grass grow" are classically unexciting things; sometimes these activities are combined. "Any day now... Its like watching fruit…
“If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie”
"If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie" (or "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat") is a popular sign displayed in many…
“If you stay at the table long enough, the chips come to you”
American actress Marilyn Cooper (1934-2009) made her Broadway debut in the chorus of Mr. Wonderful (1956); the following year, she was cast in West Side Story (1957). When Cooper won the Tony award…
“If you stay silent and fail to rock the boat in this war between good and evil…”
"If you stay silent and fail to rock the boat in this war between good and evil...your life might be easier but your children's won't" is a saying that has been printed on…
“If you steal things from bartenders, you’ll end up behind bars”
A bar joke was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on September 30, 2018: "If you steal things from bartenders, you'll end up behind bars." "Behind bars" -- when it is not…
“If you still look cute at the end of your workout, you didn’t train hard enough”
"If you still look cute at the end of your workout, you didn't train hard enough" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many posters. "If you still look cute after a…
“If you struggle cutting cake, is it still a piece of cake?”
Something that is a "piece of cake" is something that is easy or simple. "If a cake is hard to make is it still a piece of cake??" is a joke that was posted on Twitter January…
“If you stumble, make it part of the dance”
"If you stumble, make it part of the/your dance" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many posters. "If you stumble, make it part of your dance" was cited on…