"If a leader needs mandates to get people to comply with science, then either the leader is fake or the science is fake. Or both are fake" is a saying that has been printed on a popular…
"If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program, wake him up" is a jocular one-line saying written by American computer scientist Alan Jay Perlis (1922-1990) in his…
"If a man can't curse his freinds, whom can he curse?" is allegedly a typical Texan sentiment from Sam Houston. August 1869, Overland Monthly and Out West Magazine, South-Western…
"If a man has a lock on his phone, has it on silent and always places it face down... It's because he's protecting his grandma's precious recipes!" is a saying that has…
"If a man is right, he cannot be too radical; if wrong, he cannot be too conservative" has been credited to American humorist Josh Billings, the pen name Henry Wheeler Shaw (1818-1885).…
"If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Newark (NJ) Evening News journalist Thomas Mackin…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic affected workplaces -- even butt-kissers. "If a supervisor at work gets COVID, do the people who kiss that ass need to be tested? Asking for a friend"…
"If a meme is dank, a man is not only right to steal it, he is obligated to do so. -- Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson" is a jocular quotation that has been printed on many images.…
"If a meme is dank, a man is not only right to steal it, he is obligated to do so. -- Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson" is a jocular quotation that has been printed on many images.…
Lobsters have nothing to do with mobsters or "the lob," but there are jokes. "Tonight's Groaner: If a mobster is a member of the Mob, what's a lobster a member of?"…
a joke about the job of a morgue worker was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on March 11, 2020: "If a morgue worker dies they'd still need to come in to work one more time." Reddit…
Life magazine (a New York City humor magazine) in 1921 gave an interesting maxim for musical comedy: "If a musical show takes off enough clothes in the summer it usually runs through the…
"If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules" and "If a bacon package isn't resealable, it contains one serving. That's science. I…
Parsley is often used as a garnish. "If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?" is a pun that has been printed on many images. American comedian Bruce Baum said in July…
The following saying illustrates the importance of integrity in business and in politics: "If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else…
Do atheists have God-given rights? "Yes, you have a God-given right to be an atheist in America" was printed in the Twin Falls (ID) Times-News on July 7, 1963. "It's my…
"If a play is working, keep running it" is a sports adage used in football, but also in other sports such as basketball. If a football team can't stop the run, for example, then the…
"If a politician says you don’t need a gun, you need a gun" is a political saying that has been printed on many images. "If a politician says 'You don't need a…
"If a potato can become vodka, then you can become anything you want to be" is a jocular inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. There are many variations on the…
"If a potato can become vodka, then you can become anything you want to be" is a jocular inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. There are many variations on the…