“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship”
"I'm not addicted to coffee, we're just in a committed relationship" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm not addicted to coffee, we're…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings; I’m a drunk, we go to parties”
"I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings; I'm a drunk, we go to parties" is a popular saying on posters. The joke refers indirectly to Alcoholics Anonymous, an…
“I’m not an alcoholic. I’m a bartender who works from home”
"I am not an unemployed alcoholic, I am a bartender who works from home" is a jocular line that was cited on Twitter by comedy wirter Richard Day on January 27, 2010. "I'm not…
“I’m not an early bird or a night owl. I’m more of a tired afternoon duck”
"I'm not an early bird or a night owl. I'm more of a tired afternoon duck" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm not an early bird and I'm not a…
“I’m not anti-system. The system is anti-me”
"I'm not anti-system. The system is anti-me" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Yo no soy antisistema, es el sistema es antiyo" is also shown on several…
“I’m not as think as you drunk I am”
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am" -- a drunk "spoonerism" version of "I'm not as drunk as you think I am" -- is a one-line saying that has been printed on…
“I’m not bossy. I’m the teacher”
"I'm not bossy. I'm the teacher" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been printed on various gift items since at least 2018. TwitterShe Shed Craft…
“I’m not broke. I’m pre-rich”
"I'm not broke/poor. I'm pre-rich" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The term "pre-rich" was entered in the Urban Dictionary on September 19, 2015.…
“I’m not buying a 2021 planner until I see a trailer”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic changed everyone's plans. “Biggest waste of money: my 2020 planner” and “Glad I didn’t waste my money buying a planner for 2020” were popular…
“I’m not challenging your authority. I’m denying it completely”
"I'm not challenging your authority. I'm denying it completely" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain, but it appears to have been…
“I’m not cheap. I’m frugal”
"I'm not cheap. I'm frugal" is what some non-spenders say. American humorist Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) possibly popularized the saying in a June 1987 newspaper column that ended:…
“I’m not chubby. I’m insulated. And winter’s coming. So I’m prepared”
"I'm not chubby. I'm insulated. And winter's coming. So I'm prepared" (or "I'm not fat. I'm insulated") is a jocular saying that has been printed…
“I’m not confused—I’m only well-mixed”
Poet Robert Frost (1874-1963) frequently said "I'm not confused; I'm only well-mixed" (also "I'm not confused; I'm just well-mixed"). The saying (which dates…
“I’m not drinking anymore (but I’m not drinking any less, either)”
"I'm not drinking anymore (any more) -- but I'm not drinking any less, either" is a joke that has been attributed to New York City-born comedian Joe E. Lewis (1902-1971), singer…
“I’m not drunk, I’m patriotic”
"I'm not drunk, I'm patriotic" is a drinking saying (popular on July 4th Independence Day) that has been printed on many images. "I'm not drunk I'm patriotic…
“I’m not drunk. Just avoiding potholes” (bumper sticker)
"I'm not drunk. Just avoiding potholes" (or "Not drunk. Avoiding potholes") is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "Car sticker seen…
“I’m not everyone’s cup of tea… But I drink coffee, so fuck them”
"I'm not everyone's cup of tea... But I drink coffee, so fuck them" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "@just1fool: I'm not everyone's cup…
“I’m not far right. I’m just right so far”
"I'm not far right. I'm just right so far" is a political saying that has been printed on many images. "Not far right - just Right So Far 😉" was posted on Twitter…
“I’m not fat—I just have good marbling”
"Marbling" (streaks of fat) is usually preferred in a steak. But in humans? "I'm not fat, I'm well-marbled" was posted on Twitter by "Nina Bargiel, probably"…
“I’m not fat—I’m cultivating mass”
"I'm not fat -- I'm cultivating mass" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many T-shirts. The line was spoken on the American television sitcom It's Always Sunny in…