“I’m always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower”
Many people's ancestors arrived on the Mayflower ship that landed in America in 1620. There was no ship called the "Juneflower," but there are jokes. "I'm always late. My…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I’m always losing things at work…my glasses, my keys, my will to live…”
"I'm always losing things at work...my glasses, my keys, my will to live..." is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "I hate losing things at work,…
“I’m an adult, and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I wish someone would take this power from me”
"I'm an adult, and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I wish someone would take this power from me" is a ocular food saying that has been printed on many images. The…
“I’m an amateur crastinator. Someday I’ll turn pro”
"I used to just crastinate. Then I decided to go pro" is a jocular procrastination saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm an amateur crastinator. Someday I'll…
“I’m an artist for the government. I draw unemployment”
"I'm an artist. I draw unemployment" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1986 and 1989. "Now he's an artist for the state. He draws unemployment" was…
“I’m an artist. I draw unemployment”
"I'm an artist. I draw unemployment" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1986 and 1989. "Now he's an artist for the state. He draws unemployment" was…
“I’m an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December I’m eggnogstic”
"Eggnogstic" (eggnog + agnostic) is a jocular term that has been cited in print since at least 1885. "What do you call a religious skeptic drinking a common December beverage?…
“I’m an English major. You do the math”
“I’m an English major. You do the math” is a saying that has been printed on many images. "You do the math" is an expression that means "you figure it out," but sometimes…
“I’m an overacheeser”
The word "overacheeser" is a jocular formation of "overachiever" with "cheese" added. "I'm an overacheeser" has been printed on many images.…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a chemist”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a doctor”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a nurse”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out”
"I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is an adult who no longer goes out…
“I’m at that age where if you text me after 10 PM I’m texting back at 6 AM”
"I'm at the age where if you text me after 9PM I'm texting back at 4:36 AM" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Older people go to sleep early. "I'm at…
“I’m at the age that not finding parking for an event is enough to make me go home”
"I'm at the age that/where not finding parking for an event is enough to make me go home" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm at the age where not…
“I’m at the age where I appreciate a nice handrail”
"I've reached the age where I appreciate a nice handrail" (or "I'm at the age where I appreciate a nice handrail") is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I’m at the age where if you text me after 9PM I’m texting back at 4:36 AM”
"I'm at the age where if you text me after 9PM I'm texting back at 4:36 AM" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Older people go to sleep early. "I'm at…
“I’m at the age where not finding parking for an event is enough to make me go home”
"I'm at the age that/where not finding parking for an event is enough to make me go home" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm at the age where not…
“I’m at the airport and a man just collapsed on the luggage carousel. He’s coming around slowly”
"Someone collapsed at the luggage carousel at Heathrow Airport. Medics claim they are coming round slowly" was posted on Twitter by Jimmy Ferguson on January 19, 2021. The joke is that…
“I’m at the grocery store, lost in the eggs aisle”
"Exile" sounds like "eggs aisle," and there are jokes. "Eggs Aisle" is track 10 on Live from Space (2013), the first and only live album by American rapper Mac Miller…