“I’m an artist for the government. I draw unemployment”
"I'm an artist. I draw unemployment" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1986 and 1989. "Now he's an artist for the state. He draws unemployment" was…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I’m an artist. I draw unemployment”
"I'm an artist. I draw unemployment" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1986 and 1989. "Now he's an artist for the state. He draws unemployment" was…
“I’m an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December I’m eggnogstic”
"Eggnogstic" (eggnog + agnostic) is a jocular term that has been cited in print since at least 1885. "What do you call a religious skeptic drinking a common December beverage?…
“I’m an English major. You do the math”
“I’m an English major. You do the math” is a saying that has been printed on many images. "You do the math" is an expression that means "you figure it out," but sometimes…
“I’m an overacheeser”
The word "overacheeser" is a jocular formation of "overachiever" with "cheese" added. "I'm an overacheeser" has been printed on many images.…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a chemist”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a doctor”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a nurse”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out”
"I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is an adult who no longer goes out…
“I’m at that age where if you text me after 10 PM I’m texting back at 6 AM”
"I'm at the age where if you text me after 9PM I'm texting back at 4:36 AM" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Older people go to sleep early. "I'm at…
“I’m at the age that not finding parking for an event is enough to make me go home”
"I'm at the age that/where not finding parking for an event is enough to make me go home" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm at the age where not…
“I’m at the age where I appreciate a nice handrail”
"I've reached the age where I appreciate a nice handrail" (or "I'm at the age where I appreciate a nice handrail") is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I’m at the age where if you text me after 9PM I’m texting back at 4:36 AM”
"I'm at the age where if you text me after 9PM I'm texting back at 4:36 AM" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Older people go to sleep early. "I'm at…
“I’m at the age where not finding parking for an event is enough to make me go home”
"I'm at the age that/where not finding parking for an event is enough to make me go home" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm at the age where not…
“I’m at the airport and a man just collapsed on the luggage carousel. He’s coming around slowly”
"Someone collapsed at the luggage carousel at Heathrow Airport. Medics claim they are coming round slowly" was posted on Twitter by Jimmy Ferguson on January 19, 2021. The joke is that…
“I’m at the grocery store, lost in the eggs aisle”
"Exile" sounds like "eggs aisle," and there are jokes. "Eggs Aisle" is track 10 on Live from Space (2013), the first and only live album by American rapper Mac Miller…
“I’m at the point in life where the hottest text I get is: ‘Your prescription is ready for pick up’”
Texting can be romantic -- or not. "I'm at the point in life where the hottest text I get is: 'Your prescription is ready for pick up'" is a jocular saying that has been…
“I’m at the point in my life where running errands counts as going out”
"I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is an adult who no longer goes out…
“I’m awake! Please respect my privacy during this very difficult time”
"I'm awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "i’m awake! please respect my privacy during this…
“I’m awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time”
"I'm awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "i’m awake! please respect my privacy during this…