“I’m crazy? I want a second opinion!”/“You’re ugly, too.”
A popular psychiatry joke has a psychiatrist tell a man, "You're crazy." "I want a second opinion," the man responds. "OK," says the doctor, "you're…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts: Leave me the fu cologne”
"Leave me the fuck alone!" is not the name of a cologne, but there are jokes. "Its my cologne! called leave me the fuck alone! Haha" was posted on Twitter by Oleg D on June 19,…
“I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts: Leave me the fuck cologne”
"Leave me the fuck alone!" is not the name of a cologne, but there are jokes. "Its my cologne! called leave me the fuck alone! Haha" was posted on Twitter by Oleg D on June 19,…
“I’m directing a cowboy film called The Sun. It’s set in the west”
A joke about the sun is: "I'm directing a cowboy film called The Sun. It's set in the west." The joke was posted on Twitter by alankemp (and others) on September 14, 2014, and…
“I’m doing my best to remove the word ‘chocolate’ from my vocadbury”
"is struggling to remove the word chocolate from his voCadbury" was posted on Twitter by Colin G. Hill on July 23, 2009. "Vocadbury" is a jocular portmanteau word from…
“I’m done correcting typos. From now on finger it out”
Some people don't have the time or the patience to correct typos. This was posted on Instagram by christy_smith_astrology on February 25, 2025, and it received over 43,900 likes:…
“I’m drinking 2% milk, wondering what the other 98% is”
"2% milk" refers to the fat content of the milk, but there's a popular joke: "If it's 2% milk, what's the other 98%?" "I always wondered if it was 2% milk,…
“I’m drinking vodka and prune juice. I call it a pile driver”
A "Screwdriver" is a cocktail of vodka and orange juice. A "Piledriver" (or "Pile Driver") is sometimes said to be a cocktail of vodka and prune juice (a laxative that…
“I’m eating just in case I get hungry in the future”
"I'm eating just in case I get hungry in the future" is a jocular saying that has become popular on Twitter. The saying first appeared on Twitter with several tweets on November 14,…
“I’m either at work, going to work, coming from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work”
"I'm either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The…
“I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work”
"I'm either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The…
“I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a shit in days”
"I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days" is a jocular line that has been printed on several ecards. The saying was posted on Twitter on August 9, 2012 and…
“I’m excited that the phrase ‘get the fuck away from me’ is no longer rude but a PSA”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in social distancing. "I'm excited that the phrase 'get the fuck away from me' is no longer rude but a public service announcement.…
“I’m excited to announce that I have just about had it”
"I'm excited to announce that I've just about had it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is fed up with circumstances (such as at a job) and…
“I’m excited to announce that I’ve just about had it”
"I'm excited to announce that I've just about had it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is fed up with circumstances (such as at a job) and…
“I’m fat because I’m full of experiences. And most of those experiences took place at restaurants”
"I'm fat because I'm full of experiences. And most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying…
“I’m fat, but I identify as skinny. I’m trans-slender”
"Trans-slender" or "translender" is a pun on "transgender." "Um no I'm not fat I'm very translender" was posted on Twitter by Van on May 9, 2015.…
“I’m fat, but I identify as skinny. I’m translender”
"Trans-slender" or "translender" is a pun on "transgender." "Um no I'm not fat I'm very translender" was posted on Twitter by Van on May 9, 2015.…
“I’m fat, but I identify as slim. I’m trans-slender”
"Trans-slender" or "translender" is a pun on "transgender." "Um no I'm not fat I'm very translender" was posted on Twitter by Van on May 9, 2015.…
“I’m fat, but I identify as slim. I’m translender”
"Trans-slender" or "translender" is a pun on "transgender." "Um no I'm not fat I'm very translender" was posted on Twitter by Van on May 9, 2015.…