Some call centers always seem to state that they are experiencing a higher volume of calls than average, and they always place customers on hold. "Why is it that all the places one calls are…
"I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going" is a jocular line that has been printed on bumper stickers. The line -- often given in lists of…
"I'm looking to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum. Just need help getting it off the ground" was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia Official (and many others) on…
"Starvin' Marvin" is a name that rhymes, like "Stormin' Norman." "Starvin' Marvin" was used in an ad in the Hartford (CT) Courant on May 1, 1952. A…
"I'm staying home today. I have mood poisoning" -- a pun on "food poisoning -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I’m staying home today! I’ve…
"I'm still tired from yesterday's tired" and "I'm still tired from yesterday's tired. Today isn't looking so good, and I've already used up…
"I'm still tired from yesterday's tired" and "I'm still tired from yesterday's tired. Today isn't looking so good, and I've already used up…
An antique shop sells old things, and "antique shop" has become equivalent to "nothing new." "Having seen your offense once is like unto having viewed an 'antique…
"Handbooks" are usually not about hands, but sometimes they are. "I'm quite the expert on palmistry, I've written a handbook" was posted on Twitter by sikjokes2011 on…
"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice -- I don't know if I'm coming or going" is a popular joke. Viagra is trademarked with a first use of April 6, 1998. " The…
"Sole provider" means the only provider. It usually doesn't mean the provider of shoe soles, but there are jokes. "I'm the sole provider for my family. They can buy the…
New York Yankee baseball player Reggie Jackson's comments in Sport magazine from May 1977 angered other Yankees, such as catcher Thurman Munson. Jackson was quoted as saying: "it all…
Many people jog/run with their dogs. "I can't run fast enough to take my dog jogging, so I got a pet turtle" was posted on Facebook by Mark Renfroe on December 15, 2017.…
"Might join the cicadas this summer & scream constantly" (also "I'm thinking about joining the cicadas this summer & screaming constantly") is a jocular summer…
A joke about the job of estimating crowds is: "I am thinking about pursuing a job as a crowd estimator. I wonder how many people are in that field." The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes…
A joke about running the marathon was cited on reddit in November 2015: Me: "I'm thinking about running a marathon again."Her: "Wow, you have ran a marathon before?"Me:…
"I'm really tired of eating the same shit, but ain't no new animals coming out" was posted on X/Twitter by Musically_Inclined on March 28, 2017. "I'm really tired of…
"I'm tired of seeing ya'll enjoying summer. Get a job and be miserable like the rest of us" is a jocular summer saying that has been printed on many images. "Hope every had…
"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" is an old proverb meaning that everyone's situation in life is seemingly (if not actually) more desirable than one's…
People often gain weight after they leave school and reunions can be frightening -- but a kindergarten reunion? "I declined an invitation to my Kindergarten Reunion because...well, you know,…