“I saw an Elvis impersonator covered in cream and black cherries, singing ‘In the Gâteau’”
"Gâteau" (plural is "gâteaux") is French for "cake." It sounds like the word "ghetto." Both "gâteau" and ""gâteaux" have been…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I saw an Irish dancing show today called Streamdance. It’s not quite as good as Riverdance, but then it is only a tributary act”
Are there any dance shows similar to Riverdance? "I saw an Irish dancing show today called 'Streamdance'. It's not quite as good as 'Riverdance', but then it is only a…
“I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf. I don’t know how anyone could stoop so low”
The expression "stoop so low" usually is not meant literally, but there are jokes. "I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed How could anyone stoop so…
“I saw the acronym NYFW (New York Fashion Week) and read it as Not Yafe For Work”
"NYFW" (New York Fashion Week) shouldn't be confused with "NSFW" (Not Safe For Work), but people looking at it quickly sometimes make the wrong association. "New York…
“I saw trombone players at the park today. Couldn’t swing and kept complaining about the slide”
A trombone riddle was posted on Twitter on April 7, 2012: Q: Why is it no fun to go the park with a trombone player? A: They can’t swing and complain about the slide. Forms of the…
“I saw trombone players at the park today. Couldn’t swing and kept complaining about the slide”
A trombone riddle was posted on Twitter on April 7, 2012: Q: Why is it no fun to go the park with a trombone player? A: They can’t swing and complain about the slide. Forms of the…
“I saw two men in matching outfits, so I asked them if they were gay. They arrested me!”
"I saw two men in matching outfits, so I asked them if they were gay. They arrested me!" -- the men were police officers -- was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 15, 2018, and on several…
“I saw you from across the bar. Stay there” (social distancing pickup line)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic led many to "socially distance" themselves from others. A pickup line joke was posted on Twitter by Sentient Bunny Suit on March 19, 2020: "I saw…
“I saw your shirt. Who’s NY?” -Overly Attached Girlfriend
"I Love NY" is a slogan that has been printed on many shirts. A joke is: "'I saw your shirt. Who's NY?' -Overly Attached Girlfriend." "RT @Obsessive_GF: I…
“I say it’s spinach, and I say the hell with it”
The famous New Yorker cartoon was on December 8, 1928, with a drawing by Carl Rose and text by E. B. White: Young Mother: "It's broccoli, dear."Young Daughter: "I say it's…
“I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen”
"I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen" is a jocular line that has been printed on GIFs. The saying has been cited in print since at least August 2007, the first of several…
“I say please and thank you Siri, that way when machines take over the world she will spare me”
Some people say "please" and "thank you" even to a virtual assistant such as Siri or Amazon Alexa. The reason? "Nah, just practicing for when the machines take over? RT…
“I scream for ice cream” (“I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream”)
"I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Ice Cream" is the title of a popular 1927 song. However, the spelling "I scream" for "ice cream" has been used in New York…
“I scream. You scream. The police come. It’s awkward”
"I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream" is a popular chant. "I scream. You scream. The police come. It's awkward" is a jocular variation that has been printed…
“I see it. I like it. I want it. I check the price. I put it back”
"I see it. I like it. I want it. I check the price (tag). I put it back" is a shopping saying that has been printed on many images."I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it" is…
“I see the price of Oxo cubes has shot up again. The stock market’s gone crazy”
The Oxo company manufactures beef stock cubes, among other products. There have been several Oxo puns mentioning the "stock" market. "Retweeting @andrewsayer: I see the price of Oxo…
“I see way too many gardens without tiny bearded figurines. The gnomeless”
Many homes have garden gnomes. Homes that do not have them are "gnomeless." "It you lose a garden gnome are you gnomeless? #themoreyouknow" was posted on Twitter by The Knower…
“I see you have some graph paper. You must be plotting something”
People who use graph papers are always plotting something, or so the joke goes. "You should always be suspicious of people with graph paper. They're probably plotting something" was…
“I seen my opportunities and I took ‘em” & “Honest graft” (George Washington Plunkitt)
George Washington Plunkitt, a corrupt politician of Tammany Hall days, is known today for the term "honest graft" and the saying "I seen my opportunities and I took 'em."…
“I sell pies from my car. $2 for apple, $3 for pumpkin. These are the pie rates of the car I be in”
"Pie Rates of the Caribbean”—a pun on the Pirates of the Caribbean film series—has been printed on many images. A different version was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 14, 2019:…