“I taught my daughter what the word ‘bargain’ meant” (joke)
"I'd like to thank the person who taught me the meaning of the word 'bargain', it means a great deal" was posted on Twitter by Spocksgoat on December 17, 2014. A form of…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I tell dad jokes, but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa”
"Faux pas" is sometimes punned as "faux pa." The pun is especially frequent on Father's Day. "A friend tried to tell me recently that I'm not allowed to make dad…
“I tell new hires, ‘Don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you’”
A popular work one-liner is: "I tell new hires, 'Don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.'" "Boss = a friend who can fire you" was…
“I tested positive for sickofthisshit-20. There is no cure, and I may or may not be contagious”
The 2019–20 coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic reached the last nerve of many people. "Today I tested positive for Sickofthisshit-20 There’s no cure and I may or may not be contagious…
“I think about winning the lottery way too much for someone that don’t buy lottery tickets”
"I think about winning the lottery way too much for someone that don't buy lottery tickets" and "I fantasize about winning the lottery way too much for someone who never buys…
“I think about winning the lottery way too much for someone who doesn’t even play it”
"I think about winning the lottery way too much for someone that don't buy lottery tickets" and "I fantasize about winning the lottery way too much for someone who never buys…
“I think Christmas is a wonderful time for drinking”
Two related drinking sayings have been printed on many images: "I think Christmas is a wonderful time for drinking. And also after and before Christmas plus all the other days.""I…
“I think every morning that I’m going to make pancakes, but I keep waffling”
"I want to make pancakes, but I keep waffling" -- "waffling" is a joke on "waffles" -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on a sign. "This morning the…
“I think everyone should use two deodorants, one under each armpit. That’s just my two scents”
"My two cents" is sometimes jocularly written as "my two scents" (one for each armpit). "I don't think fragrances have to be mutually exclusive - (but that's just…
“I think getting older is when you’d rather day drink than go out all night”
"I think getting older is when you'd rather day drink than go out all night" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I think getting older is when you'd rather…
“I think I aced my drug test at work yesterday. Nobody got higher than me”
Getting high on a test might be good, but getting high on a drug test might be bad. "I think I aced my drug test at work yesterday. Nobody got higher than me" was posted on Reddit --…
“I think I need to quit my job to focus on my laundry”
Having a job interferes with many other life tasks, like putting away laundry. "might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry" was posted on X/Twitter by ely kreimendahl…
“I think I still have some unfinished procrastinating to do from yesterday”
"I think I still have some unfinished procrastinating to do from yesterday" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I think I still have some unfinished…
“I think I’ve been eating too much salmon recently. I keep running up down escalators”
If you eat too much salmon, you don't necessarily turn into a salmon and start spawning. This joke was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia Official on December 28, 2013: "I think I've…
“I think I’m pretty smart until I’m asked to tap to pay for something- here? where? here? do it again? did that work?”
"Tap to Pay" might be a simple system to some, but it confuses others. This was posted on X/Twitter by Mommy Needs A Life on March 5, 2024: "I think I’m pretty smart until I’m…
“I think it would be great if Walmart added an upper level observation deck with a full bar”
"I think it would be great if Walmart added an upper level observation deck with a full bar" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Walmart is an American multinational retail…
“I think it’s about time we start calling this ‘virus’ by its proper name: #5GFLU”
During the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic, many people questioned what the coronavirus was. They believed that the coronavirus was essentially the flu, plus the effects of 5G technology. The term…
“I think it’s neat to order whisky, no ice”
A "neat" alcoholic drink is one that is poured straight in the glass -- without ice or anything else. "Know what's neat? no ice" was posted on Twitter on June 12, 2009.…
“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly”
The game of Monopoly has been published by Parker Brothers -- and only Parker Brothers -- since 1935. A popular joke is: "I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game…
“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly”
The game of Monopoly has been published by Parker Brothers -- and only Parker Brothers -- since 1935. A popular joke is: "I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game…