“How do you turn milk into cheese?”/“Put it in solid dairy confinement.”
"Solitary confinement" shouldn't be confused with "solid dairy confinement," but there are jokes. "Where do you put illegal cheese? Solid dairy confinement!" was…
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“How do you turn soup into gold?”/“Add 24 carrots.”
"Carrot" (a vegetable) sounds like "karat" (a unit of gold), and there's a pun: Q: How do you turn soup into gold?A: Add 24 carrots. The joke has been cited in print since…
“How do you turn white chocolate into dark chocolate?”/“Turn off the light.”
A chocolate riddle is: Q: How do you turn white chocolate into dark chocolate?A: Turn off the light. The joke was posted on Twitter on January 9, 2013. TwitterHamish James@mrhamishjamesReplying to…
“How do you unlock a haunted house?”/“With a skeleton key.”
A skeleton key is a master key that opens many doors. "Now I know how ghosts get into haunted houses. They use skeleton keys!" was printed in the Washington (DC) Post on November 28,…
“How do zombies do well in school?”/“They eat lots of brain food.”
A riddle about zombies is: Q: How do zombies do well in school?A: They eat lots of brain food. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2012. TwitterDavid Murray@SasquatchDaveWhy do…
“How do zombies do well in school?”/“They eat lots of brain food.”
A riddle about zombies is: Q: How do zombies do well in school?A: They eat lots of brain food. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2012. TwitterDavid Murray@SasquatchDaveWhy do…
“How does a capitalist text?”/“BY YELLING.”
A "capitalist" is sometimes just a person who likes to write in all capital letters. "All caps" is regarded online as shouting or yelling. A joke was posted on Reddit --…
“How does a caveman like his drink?”/“On the rocks.”
"On the rocks" (on ice) is usually not taken literally -- except in some jokes. The American television sitcom New Girl, the episode "What About Fred" that originally aired on…
“How does a computer get drunk?”/“It takes screen shots.”
A computer riddle is: Q: How does a computer get drunk?A: It takes screen shots. The joke was posted on Twitter by Prank Call Joy on April 6, 2018. TwitterPrank Call Joy@prankcalljoyQ. How does a…
“How does a computer get drunk?”/“It takes screenshots.”
A computer riddle is: Q: How does a computer get drunk?A: It takes screenshots. The joke was posted on Twitter by Prank Call Joy on April 6, 2018. TwitterPrank Call Joy@prankcalljoyQ. How does a…
“How does a computer learn new things?”/“Bit by bit.”
A computer riddle is: Q: How does a computer learn new things?A: Bit by bit. The joke was posted on Twitter by Dr. Aayesha Hassan on February 21, 2019. Twitter Caleb Norton@CalebNorton1How does a…
“How does a cowboy start his day?”/“He reboots.”
A cowboy riddle was posted on Reddit -- DadJokes on December 7, 2019, then on Reddit -- 3amjokes on December 14, 2019: Q: How does a cowboy start his day?A: He reboots. The joke essentially relates…
“How does a cucumber become a pickle?”/“It goes through a jarring experience.”
"A bit of humor: A pickle is a cucumber soured by a jarring experience" was printed in The Current Local (Van Buren, MO) on July 14, 1988. "'A pickle is a cucumber soured by a…
“How does a flat earther travel the world?”/“On a plane.”
A flat earth riddle is: Q: How does a flat earther travel the world?A: On a plane (plain). The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 30, 2017. Reddit -- JokesHow does a Flat Earther travel…
“How does a French woman hold her liquor?”/“By the ears.”
"Liquor" sounds like "licker," and there's a a sex pun that was cited in the newsgroup rec.humor on October 24, 1990: Q: How does a women hold her liquor?A: By the ears.…
“How does a hotel room taste?”/“Suite.”
A hotel room "suite" is sometimes given the pun "sweet." The Disney Channel sitcom The Suite Life of Zack & Cody (2005-2008) punned on the two words "suite" and…
“How does a jazz musician end up with a million dollars?”/“By starting out with two million dollars.
A jazz musician riddle has been cited in print since at least 1996: Q: How does a jazz musician end up with a million dollars? A: Give him ten million and wait a couple of months. "How does a…
“How does a kaiju find a home?”/“Through Godzillow.”
Godzilla is a famous fictional monster in Japanese films who often destroys houses. Zillow is an American online real estate marketplace company. There is no "Godzillow," but there are…
“How does a lawyer stop the bleeding?”/“Attorney-kit.”
"A tourniquet" sounds a bit like "attorney kit." "This incompetent lawyer's case is bleeding out! get attorney kit" was posted on Twitter by…
“How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?”/“They/Them.”
Some people identify as "they/them." A riddle was posted on Twitter by Seri Bea(selfish era) on March 20, 2021: Q: How does a non-binary samurai kill people? A: They/them. That is,…