“How do you start a rice pudding race?”/“Sago.”
A riddle about sago pudding is: Q: How do you start a rice pudding race? A: Sago (say go). This riddle version as been cited in print since at least 2007. “How do you start a pudding…
Alphebetical for "h"
“How do you steam clams?”/“Make fun of their religion.”
The word "steam" can mean "to anger" and a person can have a "clammy" personality, as in the joke: Q: How do you steam clams?A: Make fun of their religion. "Very…
“How do you stop a dog from barking in the back yard?”/“Put it in the front yard.”
A dog riddle is: Q: Who do you stop a dog from barking in the back yard?A: Put it in the front yard. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1983. “How do you keep a dog from barking in…
“How do you stop a dog from barking in the street?”/“Put him in a barking lot!”
A car riddle was published in Bennett Cerf's Book of Animal Riddles (1964): Q: What is a good way to keep a dog off the street?A: Put him in a barking lot! "How do you stop a dog from…
“How do you stop a dog howling in the back of a car?”/“Put him in the front.”
A car riddle was published in Bennett Cerf's Book of Animal Riddles (1964): Q: How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of a car?A: Have him sit in front with you.…
“How do you stop an elephant from charging?” (joke)
"How do you keep/stop an elephant from charging? You take away his credit card!" This joke (along with other elephant jokes) went viral in 1963 and 1964 and is of unknown authorship.…
“How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?”/“Hide their trainers.”
A riddle about laptop batteries "running out" is: Q: How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?A: Hide their trainers (sneakers). The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?”/“Hide their trainers.”
A riddle about laptop batteries "running out" is: Q: How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?A: Hide their trainers (sneakers). The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“How do you support a werewolf’s YouTube channel?”/“Lycan subscribe.”
"Lycan" sounds like "like and," and of course, there are YouTube werewolf jokes. "I end all my werewolf Youtube videos by telling viewers to lycan subscribe" was…
“How do you survive an Irish vampire?”/“Repel him with Gaelic.”
"Garlic" should not be confused with "Gaelic," but there are jokes. "How do you survive an Irish vampire? Repel him with Gaelic" was posted on Twitter by Kev Murphy on…
“How do you tell a male door from a female door?”/“One’s got a ding-dong, the other has knockers.”
A door riddle (containing sex slang) is: Q: How do you tell a male door from a female door? A: One's got a ding-dong, the other has knockers. The joke was posted on Twitter by Aman on…
“How do you tell a proper joke about eating?”/“In jest.”
"Ingest" sounds like "in jest." "I was going to write a joke about eating disorders, but it was tough to, in jest" was posted on Twitter on June 7, 2013. A riddle was…
“How do you tell if a person is a level-headed country boy?”/“Snuff runs out of both sides.”
A Southern saying about a snuff dipper is: Q: How do you tell if a person is a level-headed country boy?A: Snuff runs out of both sides of his mouth. "Son, that is what you call a level-headed…
“How do you tell vaccinated from unvaccinated if they aren’t wearing masks?” (joke)
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in mask wearing. Vaccines were made available in 2021, and some mask restrictions were dropped. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 14, 2021:…
“How do you think the unthinkable?”/“With an itheberg.”
A lisp riddle has been printed on many images (often with a photo of boxer Mike Tyson) : Q: How do you think the unthinkable?A: With an itheberg. The "How do you sink the unsinkable? With an…
“How do you tickle a rich girl?”/“Say ‘Gucci Gucci Gucci!’”
A riddle about Gucci luxury products has been printed on several images: Q: How do you tickle a rich girl?A: Say "Gucci Gucci Gucci!" The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on…
“How do you tune a fish?”/“With its scales.”
A tuna fish riddle is: Q: How do you tune a (tuna) fish?A: With its scales. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1916. “You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish” is a related…
“How do you tune a fish?”/“With its scales.”
A tuna fish riddle is: Q: How do you tune a (tuna) fish?A: With its scales. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1916. “You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish” is a related…
“How do you turn a bee into an atheist?”/“You smack the beejesus out of them.”
There are no bees in "bejsus," but there is a riddle: Q: How do you turn a bee into an atheist?A: You smack the beejesus out of them. The joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on April 8,…
“How do you turn a T into a P?”/“Drink it.”
A tea riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on November 25, 2017: Q: How do you turn a T into a P?A: Drink it. “What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?”/"A teapot" is…