“How do you make a tissue dance?”/“Put a little boogie in it.”
"Booger" and "boogie" aren't the same, but there's a popular riddle: Q: How do you make a tissue dance?A: Put a little boogie in it. The joke has been cited in print…
Alphebetical for "h"
“How do you make a tuna melt?” (joke)
A "tuna melt" is when the cheese on the tuna is melted. It is not when the tuna "melts" (falls in love), but there are jokes. "The best way to make a tuna melt is with…
“How do you make a Venetian blind?”/“Poke him in the eye.”
The term "Venetian blind" (a type of window blind) is used in a classic riddle: Q: How do you make a Venetian blind?A: Poke him in the eye. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“How do you make a violin sound like a viola?”/“Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.”
A viola joke is: Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on July 8, 1992. “How do you…
“How do you make a violin sound like a viola?”/“Sit in the back and don’t play.”
A joke about the viola is: Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Sit in the back and don't play. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.music.filk on April 10, 1992. “How do…
“How do you make a walnut laugh?”/“Crack it up!”
A walnut riddle has been cited in print since at least 2004: Q: How do you make a walnut laugh?A: Crack it up! A version including Brazil nuts was posted on Twitter by Lorraine Jo King on August…
“How do you make an actor moan?”/“Give them a job.”
Actors aren't happy when they're out of work, and many still complain when they do find work. "Here's a joke: How do you make an actor bitch? Give him a job." was printed…
“How do you make an apple puff?”/“Chase it around the garden.”
An apple puff riddle is: Q: How do you make an apple puff?A: Chase it around the garden. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1975. “How do you make a cheese puff?"/"Chase it…
“How do you make an egg roll?”/“Push it.”
An obvious "egg roll" pun is: Q: How do you make an egg roll?A: Push it. The egg roll joke has been cited in print since at least 1984. “How do you make a sausage roll?"/"Push…
“How do you make an electric car go faster?”/“A tow truck.”
A joke about an electric car is: Q: How do you make an electric car go faster?A: A tow truck. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2008. Mark's MusingsFriday, January 04,…
“How do you make an elephant float?”/“Just add ice cream.”
An elephant riddle is: Q: How do you make an elephant float?A: With two scoops of ice cream, and elephant and some root beer. The elephant joke became very popular in 1963. “How can you make a…
“How do you make an idiot laugh on Boxing Day?”/“Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve.”
There is Christmas Eve (December 24th), then Christmas Day (December 25th), and then Boxing Day (December 26th) in the United Kingdom. A riddle is: Q: How do you make an idiot laugh on Boxing…
“How do you make an Italian wine?”/“Kick him in the shins.”
"Wine" sounds similar to "whine." "How do you make a Frenchman whine? Kick him in the Beaujolais!" was printed in the Calgary (Alberta) Herald on March 5, 1993. A…
“How do you make bourbon?”/“You take some moonshine, put it in a barrel…”
The Atlantic published in January 2013: "As I once heard a tour guide at the Wild Turkey distillery explain: 'How do you make bourbon? You take some moonshine, put it in a barrel, and add…
“How do you make Easter easier?”/“Replace the t with an i.”
An Easter riddle is: Q: How do you make Easter easier?A: Replace the t with an i. The joke was posted on Twitter on April 22, 2011. TwitterMirai 🐘 @_mirai_RT @MrsStephenFry: Handy hint: How…
“How do you make extra virgin olive oil?”/“Use extra ugly olives.”
"Extra virgin" olive oil comes from the first cold press of the olives, but there are "virgin" jokes. "And where do you get extra virgin olive oil? From exceptionally ugly…
“How do you make hard cider?”/“Put it in the freezer.”
A joke about hard cider is: Q: How do you make hard cider?A: Put it in the freezer. "How do you make hard cider? .................. Freeze it" was cited on Twitter on April 22, 2011. The…
“How do you make Manischewitz wine?”/“Kick him in the nuts.”
"Wine" sounds similar to "whine." "How do you make a Frenchman whine? Kick him in the Beaujolais!" was printed in the Calgary (Alberta) Herald on March 5, 1993. A…
“How do you make rice wine cold?”/“Remove the ‘r.’”
"Rice wine" is just one letter from "ice wine." A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Clean Jokes on January 1, 2018: Q: How do you make rice wine cold?A: Remove the "r."…
“How do you make strange bread?”/“Use weirdough.”
"Weirdo" is sometimes jocularly written as "weirdough" (weird/weirdo + dough). "Crêpe" can sound like "creep," and "donut" like "do…