“Send a risky text. Eat some pizza. Life is short”
"Life is short/uncertain. Eat dessert first" is a saying that became popular in the 1980s. Several variations exist, taking out "dessert" and inserting "pizza"…
“I burn about 2000 calories every time I put on fitted sheets by myself”
"I burn about 2000 calories every time I put on fitted sheets by myself" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Putting a itted sheet on a bed can be a challenge.…
“I assume I burn at least 1,000 calories every time I put a fitted sheet on a bed by myself”
"I burn about 2000 calories every time I put on fitted sheets by myself" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Putting a itted sheet on a bed can be a challenge.…
“Skipped the gym today and put on a fitted sheet instead”
"I burn about 2000 calories every time I put on fitted sheets by myself" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Putting a itted sheet on a bed can be a challenge.…
“Social Media: Where you can post a blueberry muffin and somehow end up in a fight”
On social media, people can take offense where none was intended. "The Internet is fun because you can post about blueberry muffins and somehow end up in a fight" was posted on Facebook…
“The Internet is fun because you can post about blueberry muffins and somehow end up in a fight”
On social media, people can take offense where none was intended. "The Internet is fun because you can post about blueberry muffins and somehow end up in a fight" was posted on Facebook…
“Life is short. Eat as much pizza as possible”
"Life is short/uncertain. Eat dessert first" is a saying that became popular in the 1980s. Several variations exist, taking out "dessert" and inserting "pizza"…
Entry in progress—BP363
Entry in progress -- BP
Entry in progress—BP362
Entry in progress -- BP
Entry in progress—BP361
Entry in progress -- BP
“Eating indoors is no picnic”
"Eating indoors is no picnic" is a joke on two levels. A "picnic" is eating outdoors, so eating ndoors is "no picnic." Also, a "picnic" can mean an easy…
“Why did the girl get upset about eating indoors?”/“It was no picnic!”
"Eating indoors is no picnic" is a joke on two levels. A "picnic" is eating outdoors, so eating ndoors is "no picnic." Also, a "picnic" can mean an easy…
“I’ve never been on a cooking show, but I did put a kitchen towel over my shoulder once when I made a grilled cheese”
A cooking joke has it that the speaker has never been on a cooking show, but the speaker can cook something simple (like maybe boil water) and put a kitchen towel over the shoulder. Impressive,…
“I may not be a great cook, but I did just put a towel over my shoulder like I’m on the Food Network”
A cooking joke has it that the speaker has never been on a cooking show, but the speaker can cook something simple (like maybe boil water) and put a kitchen towel over the shoulder. Impressive,…
“I’ve never been on a cooking show, but I did point out to my family how the cut up hot dogs I added to the macaroni and cheese…”
A cooking joke has it that the speaker has never been on a cooking show, but the speaker can cook something simple (like maybe boil water) and put a kitchen towel over the shoulder. Impressive,…
“I love elevator etiquette. Absolutely no expectation to make small talk with other people. Everyone just stares at a wall in silence”
There is etiquette in an elevator that people should stare at the wall. This was posted on X/Twitter by slate (the account is now private) on January 15, 2023, and on Bluesky by slate on November…
“‘What’s for dinner?’ and other questions my family would still ask even if I was bleeding and on fire”
"'What's for dinner?' and other questions my family would still ask even if I was bleeding and on fire" is a joke by the family's food preparer -- usually a mom --…
Entry in progress—BP360
Entry in progress -- BP
Entry in progress—BP359
Entry in progress -- BP
“Lobster: n. a highly skilled tennis player who can play overhead shots”
Lobsters have nothing to do with mobsters or "the lob," but there are jokes. "Tonight's Groaner: If a mobster is a member of the Mob, what's a lobster a member of?"…