“A house divided against itself is 1 with no remainder”
"A house divided against itself cannot stand" is a famous 1858 speech by Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865), referring to the North and the South of the United States. It's not a division…
“Prime ribs are just like regular ribs except they’re only divisible by themselves”
Prime rib usually doesn't have anything to do with prime numbers, but there are jokes. "I just found out that Prime Rib is rib meat that's only divisible by 1 and itself.…
“Dear autocorrect, please stop changing my bad words into nice words, you piece of shut!”
"Dear autocorrect, please stop changing my bad/rude words into nice words, you piece of shut!" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "You piece of shut" was…
“You work for your money. The government prints it out of thin air. This devalues your money…”
The futility of working in America under an unfair system of government was posted on X/Twitter by Sal the Agorist on September 22, 2021: "You work for your money. The govt prints it out of…
“One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music. I think it’s the Chopin board”
The Polish composer Frédéric François Chopin’s last name can sound like “chopping,” and there are jokes. "One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music. Think…
“Meat is mentioned in the Bible 281 times. Tofu is mentioned zero. That is my peer reviewed study. Checkmate. Your move vegans”
Meat is mentioned about 281 times in the BIble. Tofu is never mentioned in the BIble. To some people, that’s reason enough to not become vegan. "Meat is mentioned 281 times in the Bible tofu…
“I’ve been trying to leave Rome for weeks, but all their roads have this weird design flaw”
"All roads lead to Rome" is an idiom that means that all paths have the same goal. In some jokes, however, the phrase is taken literally. "I've been trying to leave Rome for…
“I crashed my bike in 1983 and scraped my knee. We didn’t have internet then, so I’m telling you now”
"In the 1980s I fell off my bike and hurt my knee. I'm telling you this now because we didn't have social media back then" ia an internet saying that has been printed on many…
“In the 1980s I fell off my bike and hurt my knee. I’m telling you this now because we didn’t have social media back then”
"In the 1980s I fell off my bike and hurt my knee. I'm telling you this now because we didn't have social media back then" ia an internet saying that has been printed on many…
“In the 70’s I was riding my bike and fell off and hurt my knee. I’m telling you this now because we didn’t have social media back then”
"In the 1980s I fell off my bike and hurt my knee. I'm telling you this now because we didn't have social media back then" ia an internet saying that has been printed on many…
“I love the smell of freshly brewed coffee in the morning. And I love the sound of no one talking to me while I drink it”
"I love the smell of freshly brewed coffee in the morning. And I love the sound of no one talking to me while I drink it" (or "I love the smell of freshly brewed coffee in the…
“I love the smell of freshly brewed coffee in the morning. I also love the sound of no one talking to me while I drink it”
"I love the smell of freshly brewed coffee in the morning. And I love the sound of no one talking to me while I drink it" (or "I love the smell of freshly brewed coffee in the…
“The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car”
Insurance companies sometimes offer a bundle of home and auto insurance. This was posted on X/Twitter by tweetpotato314.bsky.social on January 28, 2019, and it received over 5,000 likes: "the…
“Sunday mornings are better with coffee”
"Mornings are better with coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "eureka moment — mornings are better with coffee" was posted on X/Twitter by fatped…
“Monday mornings are better with coffee”
"Mornings are better with coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "eureka moment — mornings are better with coffee" was posted on X/Twitter by fatped…
“Soup? You mean hot cracker sauce?”
Soup is often served with crackers. Should soup be called "cracker sauce"? "Soup is literally just sandwich/cracker sauce" was posted on "Soup is literally just…
“Soup is just cracker sauce”
Soup is often served with crackers. Should soup be called "cracker sauce"? "Soup is literally just sandwich/cracker sauce" was posted on "Soup is literally just…
“You know it’s cold outside when you trip over dog shit instead of stepping in it”
"You know it's cold outside when you trip over dog poop/shit instead of stepping in it" is a jocular winter saying that has been printed on many images. "You know it's cold…
“You know it’s cold outside when you trip over dog poop instead of stepping in it”
"You know it's cold outside when you trip over dog poop/shit instead of stepping in it" is a jocular winter saying that has been printed on many images. "You know it's cold…
“I don’t want to startle anyone, but Becky on Facebook cannot believe how fast the weekend flew by”
"I don't want to startle anyone, but Becky on Facebook cannot believe how fast the weekend flew by" was posted on X/Twitter by Tony P. on November 18, 2013. "I cannot believe…