“Why experiment on animals with so many lawyers out there?”
"Why experiment on animals when there are so many lawyers out there?" is a jocular saying about lawyers. "Why experiment on animals with so many lawyers out there" was cited in…
“What do hillbillies drink out of?”/“Hiccups.”
A joke about hillbillies/rednecks ("hicks") is: Q: What do hillbillies drink out of?A: Hiccups (hick cups). The pun was cited on Twitter on October 8, 2014. A similar "hiccup"…
“I got a bottle of scotch for my wife…” (joke)
New York-based comedian Henny Youngman (1906-1998) did a liquor commercial in 1972: “I got a case of Hoffman’s for my wife...that’s not a bad trade.” The line has had many variations.…
“What’s a vampire’s favorite ice cream?”/“Veinilla.”
A popular children's Halloween pun is: Q: What's a vampire's favorite ice cream?A: Veinilla. The "veinilla" (vein + vanilla) joke has been cited in print since at least…
“Why are there only 239 beans in Irish bean soup?” (joke)
Beans have a reputation of making people fart, and there's a joke: Q: Why are there only 239 beans in Irish bean soup?A (Irish accent): Because one more and it would be too farty. The joke was…
“Look at the orange mama laid” (orange marmalade)
A pun on "orange marmalade" is: Q: What did the chick say when it saw an orange in the nest? A: Look at the orange mama laid. The joke has been cited in print to at least 1902, when it…
“What do you call a shoe store with only one owner?”/“A sole proprietorship.”
The business concept of a "sole proprietorship" has a pun: Q: What do you call a shoe store with only one owner?A: A sole proprietorship. The joke was cited in Stan Kegel's…
“Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest”
"Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest" is a jocular banking one-liner. The pun appeared in Stan Kegel's "'Puns of the Weak' 11/10/00" on the…
“Waiter! Do you have frogs’ legs?”/“No, I always walk this way.”
"Waiter, do you have frogs' legs?" is an old joke. The diner wants to know if the restaurant has frogs' legs on the menu, but the joke refers to the waiter's legs.…
“What vegetable makes birds fart?”/“A sparrow gas.”
Asparagus isn't featured in many jokes, but there is a pun: Q: What vegetable makes birds fart"A: A sparrow gas. Pun Gents published the pun on June 12, 2009. Pun Gents :: Original Pun of…
“What makes music on your head?”/“A head band.”
A head band (or "headband") is not like a rock band or a jazz band, but there's a pun: Q: What makes music on your head?A: A head band. The joke has been cited in print since at…
“What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?”/“A necktarine.”
The nectarine isn't featured in many jokes, but there is a pun: Q: What's a vampire's favorite fruit?A: A necktarine. The pun was cited with other Halloween jokes on the newsgroup…
“To lose weight, go to a paint store. You can get thinner there”
There's a popular weight loss joke: "To lose weight, go to a paint store. You can get thinner there." "Sign in paint store: Want to get thinner? Try ours -- 98c a gallon"…
“How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?”/“Tenants.”
"Tenants" is a word that sets up the obvious joke: Q: How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?A: Ten ants (tenants). "How many ants make a landlord? 10 ants (tenants)" was…
“What’s the difference between unlawful and illegal?” (joke)
A popular joke about legal definitions is: Q: What's the difference between "unlawful" and "illegal"?A: "Unlawful" means "against the law."…
“What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit?”/“Ba-na-na-na.”
German composer Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827) wrote his Symphony No. 5 with the now-famous beginning of four notes -- "short-short-short-long." There's a joke: Q: What is…
“To lose weight, go to a paint store. You can get thinner there”
There's a popular weight loss joke: "To lose weight, go to a paint store. You can get thinner there." "Sign in paint store: Want to get thinner? Try ours -- 98c a gallon"…
“I saw a hot dog vendor today…” (joke)
There is a difference between a "hot dog vendor" and a hot "dog vendor." There's a joke: "I saw a hot dog vendor today... She was good looking, but I don't really…
Manhattan’s Other Island (Roosevelt Island)
Roosevelt Island is, along with Manhattan, part of New York County. The Roosevelt Island Development Corporation prepared Roosevelt Island for residential apartments in the 1970s and published…
“Waiter: This is duck soup. Diner: No! It’s watered down!”
Some restaurant soups are watered down, and there's a pun: Customer: Waiter, this soup is too weak.Waiter: But sir, it's our best duck soup. Customer: Oh no it isn't! It's…