“What do you call a cow with a twitch?”/“Beef jerky.”
A popular joke about beef jerky is: Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?A: Beef jerky. There are slight variations in the first line of the joke, but the "beef jerky" answer is always…
“What is a hermit?”/“A girl’s baseball glove.”
A children's pun about baseball equipment is: Q: What is a hermit?A: A girl's baseball glove. The "hermit/her mitt" joke has been cited in print since at least 1979. The joke…
“The cannibal had a wife and ate kids”
A popular cannibal pun is: "The cannibal had a wife and ate (eight) kids." American author and English teacher Richard Lederer wrote in Get Thee to a Punnery (1988): "Have you heard…
“Why did the cookie cry?”/“Because his mother was a wafer so long.”
A popular cookie pun is: Q: Why did the cookie cry?A: Because his mother was a wafer so long (away for so long). "I call my baby 'Nabisco' because he's been a wafer so…
“How do you make a salad wrap?”/“Add some beets.”
"Wrap" (sandwich) is often used in a pun with "rap" (music). One joke is: Q: How do you make a salad wrap?A: Add some beets. "How do you make a salad wrap? You drop a fat…
“Which is faster, hot or cold?”/“Hot, because you can catch a cold”
"Cold" (temperature) and "cold" (sickness) have been used in several puns, including this old standard: Q: Which is fastest, hot or cold?A: Hot, because you can catch a cold.…
“9/11 jokes aren’t funny. They’re just plane wrong”
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One popular joke is: "9/11 jokes aren't…
“9/11 jokes aren’t funny. But the other 2 are”
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One popular joke is: "9/11 jokes aren't…
“Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert”
The book The Dictionary According to Mommy (1989), by Joyce Armor, contains this definition: "Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert." A "dumbwaiter"…
“Why did the chicken go to the gym?”/“To work on his pecks.”
Many people go to the gym to work on their "pecs" (pectoral muscles) and there's a pun: Q: Why did the chicken go to the gym?A: To work on his pecks (pecs). "Why did the chicken…
“What does a redneck and yeast have in common?”/“They are both in bread.”
A popular redneck joke is: Q: What does a redneck and yeast have in common?A: They are both in bread (inbred). "Q:What do a redneck and yeast have in common? A:They're both found with…
“What can you serve but never eat?”/“A tennis ball.”
A popular children's tennis pun is: Q: What can you serve but never eat?A: A tennis ball. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1968 (when the answer was a ping-pong ball). 9 March…
“What do you call a girl who stands in the middle of a tennis court?”/“Annette.”
A popular tennis pun is: Q: What do you call a girl who stands in the middle of the tennis court?A: Annette (a net). The pun has been cited in print since at least 2000, when it started as an…
“Fools rush in where wise men fear to trade”
"For fools rush in where angels fear to tread" is a famous line in English poet Alexander Pope's "An Essay on Criticism" (1711). A horse-buying parody was popular in 1881:…
“A businessman is someone to whom age brings golf instead of wisdom”
Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) wrote in 1903 about "these cricketers to whom age brings golf instead of wisdom." The Chicago (IL) Tribune in 1905 gave the epigram,…
“Committee work is like a soft chair—easy to get into but hard to get out of”
"Committee work is like a soft chair -- easy to get into but hard to get out of" is a jocular saying about committees. "Committee work is easy to get into but hard to get out of --…
“Hard work is the accumulation of easy things you didn’t do”
A popular statement about hard work is: "Hard work is the accumulation of easy things you didn't do when you should have." The saying has been cited in print since at least 1951. It…
“Fools rush in where wise men fear to trade”
"For fools rush in where angels fear to tread" is a famous line in English poet Alexander Pope's "An Essay on Criticism" (1711). A horse-buying parody was popular in 1881:…
“A businessman is someone to whom age brings golf instead of wisdom”
Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) wrote in 1903 about "these cricketers to whom age brings golf instead of wisdom." The Chicago (IL) Tribune in 1905 gave the epigram,…
Brazilian Big Apple (São Paulo nickname)
São Paulo is the capital city of the state of São Paulo, Brazil's most populous state. The city is often compared to New York City, although São Paulo is larger in area and in population.…