“I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once and the seat folded up”
"I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once and the seat folded up" is a jocular saying that has been cited in print since at least September 2000, when it was included in a joke list.…
“Don’t believe what you see in September” (baseball adage)
"Don't believe what you see in March/April/September" is a baseball adage. March is spring training, April is the first month of the baseball season, and September is the last month…
“Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop”
"Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop" is a saying that several people popularized. New York-born John P. Medbury (1893-1947) wrote in a syndicated…
“A robot walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A robot version is: "A robot walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says,…
Money Down (third down in football)
A football team has four downs to make a first down (get ten yards), or else the ball turns over to the other team. The third down has been called the "money down" because if the first…
“Don’t guess—soil test” (lawn and garden adage)
"Don't guess -- soil test" is a slogan that has been used in farming, and also for home lawns and gardens. Soil should be tested to see what fertilizer is required. "Don't…
“Years ago, we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash” (joke)
American comedian and actor Bob Hope died on July 27, 2003. American singer-songwriter Johnny Cash died on September 12, 2003. American information technology entrepreneur Steve Jobs died on…
“Three little pigs walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One version involves three little pigs. One little pig walks into the bar, takes a drink,…
“Years ago, we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs” (joke)
American comedian and actor Bob Hope died on July 27, 2003. American singer-songwriter Johnny Cash died on September 12, 2003. American information technology entrepreneur Steve Jobs died on…
“Waiter, taste the soup!” (joke)
A classic New York old-Jew_at-a-restaurant joke was told in a Leonard Lyons (1906-1976) 'The Lyons Den" column in the New York (NY) Post in October 1956: "The story is being told of…
“At the supermarket, I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode” (joke)
A popular supermarket barcode joke is: "So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, 'Are you two an item?'" Tesco is a supermarket chain…
“Don’t guess—soil test” (farming adage)
"Don't guess -- soil test" is a slogan that has been used in farming, and also for home lawns and gardens. Soil should be tested to see what fertilizer is required. "Don't…
“What happens when two pastries divorce?”/“They have a custardy battle.”
"Custody" sounds like "custardy," resulting in several puns. A typical joke was posted on the newsgroup bigweek.general on December 12, 2001: "Husband and wife have…
Terror Vandalism
A bomb exploded in a trash can at West 23rd Street, in Manhattan's Chelsea neighborhood, on September 17, 2016. The Fox News Channel's Geraldo Rivera called it "terror…
“What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?”/“A salad shooter.”
A popular vegetarian joke is: Q: What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?A: A salad shooter. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1993. The joke has been printed on sevveral GIFs.…
“I quit smoking cold turkey” (joke)
"Cold turkey" is defined as a sudden stop to a dependency (such as smoking or drugs). A pun on the "cold turkey" term appeared in New York magazine on November 20, 1978: "I…
“Where do you find stewed tomatoes?”/“Try the salad bar.”
People get "stewed" (drunk) at a bar. There's a pun: Shopper: I'm looking for stewed tomatoes. Clerk: Try the salad bar. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2008.…
Niggeratti Manor (267 West 136th Street)
"Niggerati" or "niggeratti" (nigger + literati) is a term of the Harlem Renaissance to describe Harlem's writers, artists and musicians. The term was popularized by…
“Breakfast in London, lunch in New York, baggage in Buenos Aires” (airline joke)
The age of air travel making possible "breakfast in London and lunch in New York" was thought of as early as 1919. "You can have breakfast in London, lunch in New York and…
“If you can read the New York Times without moving your lips, you’re a communist”
"There is a contemporary US joke that a liberal is somebody who can read the New York Times without moving their lips" appears to have been cited in print in 1995 (if the Google Books…