Investigating the origins of American words, names, quotations and phrases. Over 41,000 entries.
Do bank tellers move slowly? One joke is: "The money is a nice bonus, but the real joy in robbing banks is watching the tellers move quickly for once." The one-liner was posted by John…
"When one door closes, another opens" is an old proverb about opportunity. A joke variation is: "If one door closes and another door opens, you’re probably in prison."…
A restaurant joke is: MALE CUSTOMER: Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu, please?WAITRESS: The men I please are none of your damn business! The joke was posted by "AnOnion"…
A popular Valentine's Day riddle is: Q: What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day? A: Cauliflowers. The "flowers/cauliflowers" joke has been cited in print since…
"Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on August 18, 2012.…
"Oleg to stand on" is a pun for "a leg to stand on" and has been cited in print since at least 1946. A popular version was posted on Twitter on July 15, 2016: "One of the…
You shouldn't text while driving. Texting before driving is a different story. A joke is: "I know you shouldn't text and drive but I've only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I…
"Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, no one wants to hear about your workout" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many ecards. The saying was posted…
"I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor" is a jocular saying that has been prints on GIFs. The saying was posted by "A…
"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less" is a saying that has been printed on many images It has frequently been credited to Irish author C. S. Lewis…
There's a difference between a school examination and a criminal examination, but there's a joke: Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his exams?A: "Dad,…
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One such politically incorrect joke is: Q: What was…
A math riddle has been printed on several images: Q: Why was the math book sad?A: Because it had so many problems. The riddle was printed in many newspapers in 1987. “I’m not sure how many…
"Calories? You mean delicious points" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "You call them calories. I call them yummy points" has also been printed on many…
"Save some time and just put your Taco Bell directly in the toilet" is an unflattering one-line saying about Taco Bell Tex-Mex fast food restaurants. The line was posted on Twitter on…
"I drink coffee for your protection" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as coffee mugs and T-shirts. A person without coffee, the saying implies,…
"I’m glad I don’t have to hunt for my food. I don’t even know where sandwiches live" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm glad I don't have to hunt…
"I like the part(s) of the day when food happens" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on GIFs. "I like the part of the day when food happens" was posted by…
"I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm not very good at it" is a funny one-liner. Scottish Jewish comedian Arnold Brown said it at the Edinburgh Festival…
Is someone who discriminates between white rice and brown rice a "riceist" (rice + racist)? "I really like plain white rice, although I suppose that does make me a bit of a rice…