“White rice or brown rice?”/“Both. I’m not a riceist.”
Is someone who discriminates between white rice and brown rice a "riceist" (rice + racist)? "I really like plain white rice, although I suppose that does make me a bit of a rice…
“When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?”
"When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it's for them?" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Howcome when there is a knock at…
“String cheese is the sexiest of the cheeses. It’s like you get to undress it”
"String cheese is the sexiest of the cheeses. It's like you get to undress it" is a jocular saying about string cheese and its packaging. The line was posted by "Nic…
“I just saved a bunch of money on Valentine’s Day by switching to single”
"I just saved a bunch of money (on Valentine's Day) by switching to single" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "I just saved a bunch of money on…
“Putting vodka in my juice, because it’s Russia somewhere”
"Putting vodka in my juice, because it's Russia somewhere" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Definitely just put some vodka in my orange juice…
“Singing in the shower is fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s soap opera”
"Singing in the shower is fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it just becomes a soap opera" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "What's…
“Mashed potatoes beg the question: ‘what else could we massively improve by squashing it?’”
"Mashed potatoes really beg the question: 'what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?'" is a jocular one-line saying about mashing potatoes. The line…
“What do you call someone who doesn’t eat meat or vegetables?”/“Dead.”
A joke was posted on Twitter on September 16, 2014: "What do you call someone who doesn't eat meat or vegetables?…" "DEAD." It's possible to live on fruits and nuts,…
“What did the man ask the Jamaican chef?”/“What Jamaican?”
A joke about Jamaican cooking is: Q: What did the man ask the Jamaican chef?A: What Jamaican (what are you making)? "JAMAICAN: My son came up to me when I was cooking and asked, 'Hey,…
“Why were the twin towers sad?”/“They ordered pepperoni pizza and got plane.”
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One such politically incorrect joke is: Q: Why were…
“What are apricots?”/“Where monkeys sleep.”
Apricots aren't made from apes or cots, but there's a riddle: Q: What are apricots?A: Where monkeys sleep. The joke was posted on Twitter on September 15, 2009.…
“What’s red and invisible?”/“No tomatoes.”
A philosophical riddle is: Q: What's red and invisible?A: No tomatoes. The joke has been cited in print since at least the late 1980s. Google BooksNew SocietyVolumes 83-841988Pg. 60:I was told…
“What’s the difference between a bus driver and a cold?” (riddle)
A "one stops the nose, and the other knows the stops" riddle has had three difference variations. A "church organist" variation was cited in 1862: "What is the difference…
“Passenger: Will this bus take me to New York?” (joke)
"New York" can mean either the city or the state. A transportation joke is: Passenger: Will this bus take me to New York?Driver: Which part?Passenger: All of me, of course! The joke has…
“He who indulges, bulges”
"He who indulges, bulges" is a jocular food saying that has been printed on several gift items. Eleanor S. J. Rydberg first wrote the line for The Saturday Evening Post, published on…
“Yesterday, a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester”
"Gesture" sounds a bit like "jester," and there's a pun that has been printed on GIFs: "Yesterday, a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice…
“Eat here and get gas” (“food and gas”)
Many rural roadside establishments combine a restaurant with a gasoline filling station ("food and gas" or "food and fuel"). The classic sign for such a place is: "Eat Here…
“Eat here, diet home” (restaurant sign)
"Eat here (and) diet home" is a sign that has been posted in many restaurants. The sign has been cited in print since at least 1932, when it was featured in the syndicated newspaper…
“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees”
Basketball player Jason Kidd of the University of California was taken second by the Dallas Mavericks at the NBA draft on June 29, 1994. Kidd is reported to have said: "Now that I'm here,…
“Hamburgers love classical music. They go to the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall”
A hamburger riddle is: Q: How do we know that hamburgers love classical music?A: They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall! The joke has been cited in print since…