“Why didn’t people want to go to the German restaurant?”/“It was always too krauted.”
There have been several German restaurant puns on the word "kraut," usually with "krauted" meant to sound like "crowded." "I can't get a seat in this German…
“Let’s have a toast for the breadwinners”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterEziq Marzuki@eziqVVS1@Fiqy1986 morning bro. Toast to the breadwinners!4:38 PM - 14 Dec 2010 TwitterJus Money@jusmoney803Toast to the Bread Winners. Better…
“What did the TV say to the remote?”/“You turn me on.”
A television riddle is: Q: What did the TV say to the remote?A: You turn me on. The joke was posted to Twitter on August 29, 2009. "What did the remote say to the tv. 'I bet I turn you…
“The answers to my anatomy test were inside me the whole time”
"The answers were inside me the whole time" is a clichéd saying that doesn't always apply to test answers. "I took an anatomy test once and the kid next to me says…
“For lunch today, I just put some ham and pineapple in a bap. Because that’s Hawaii roll”
"That's Hawaii roll" sounds a bit like "That's how I roll." A food joke was posted on Twitter on December 11, 2010: "Spicy tuna and cucumber makizushi that's…
Come On Let’s Love Each Girl Equally (“college” backronym)
"Come On Let's Love Each Girl Equally" is a jocular backronym (back-acronym) of the word "college" that has been printed on many images. "Meaning of college is come on…
“Did I invite you to my barbecue? No! Then why are you all up in my grill?”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Urban Dictionarygrill1. One's personal business2. One's teeth/smileWhy you all up in my grill, fool?(...)by Yebeka December 19, 1999 Using EnglishRe: Why you all…
“Where do TVs go on vacation?”/“To remote islands.”
A television riddle is: Q: Where do TVs go on vacation?A: To remote islands. The joke was posted to the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on August 15, 2003. Google Groups: alt.humor.punsPuns of the Weak:…
“What did the egg say when it got turned up?”/“Om lit.”
"What did the egg say when it got turned up?"/"Om lit (omelet/omelette)" is a joke that has been printed on GIFs. "Turned up" and "lit" are slang for…
“How do you know when your girlfriend is getting too fat?”/“She fits in your wife’s clothes.”
A popular fat joke -- from a man's perspective -- is: Q: How do you know when your girlfriend is getting too fat?A: She fits in your wife's clothes. The joke has been cited in print since…
“Is Google a woman? Because it won’t let you finish without coming up with other suggestions”
Is the search engine Google a woman? Many images have been made suggesting this. "I also reason that Google is a woman; its just as unpredicatable" was posted on Twitter on May 22, 2009.…
“I submitted 10 puns to a newspaper contest hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did”
A classic pun has a man submitting 10 puns to a local newspaper's pun contest. He hoped that one would win, but no pun in ten did (no pun intended). A version of the pun has been cited in…
“So I’ve decided that my wifi will be my valentine. I don’t know, we just have this connection”
"I asked my wifi to be my valentine - We have a great connection" is a jocular saying that has been printed on a ceramic mug. "My valentine. We have a special connection...... its…
“Why did the M&M go to school?”/“Because it wanted to be a Smartie.”
A popular riddle about Smarties candy has been cited in print since at least 1997: Q: Why did the jellybean go to school?A: He wanted to be a Smartie. An M&M version has been cited in print…
Meadery
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: MeaderyA meadery is a winery that produces honey wines or meads. Particularly in Cornwall, a meadery can also refer to a type of restaurant that serves mead and…
“Why did the guy name his dog 5 Miles?”/“So every day he can say, ‘I just walked 5 Miles.’”
Entry in progress -- B.P. "The doctor told me that I need to lose some weight, so I bought a dog, named him ‘Some Weight,’ and lost him" is a similar joke. Twitter Jamie…
“I’m hungry.”/“Hi hungry. I’m Dad.”
A classic "dad joke" has been cited in print since at least 1996: CHILD: I'm hungry.DAD: Nice to meet you, Hungry. I'm Dad (or dad's name). A slightly extended version was…
“eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches”
eBay.com is an online auction and shopping website. A joke is: "eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches." The joke was first posted on Twitter…
“People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Pun.meApril 15, 201640 Best Dad Jokes which are embarrassingly awful!(...)40. People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the…
“Teacher: You have the same mistakes as the person next to you. How could that happen?”
There's a school joke about the teacher who suspects a student of cheating: Teacher: You have the same mistakes as the person next to you. How could that happen?Student: We have the same…