“Any wine can be a ‘fine’ wine if you drink enough of it”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterPaul Ludwig @paulludwigSeriously, any wine can be a "fine" wine if you drink enough of it9:16 PM - 17 Apr 2010 TwitterDavid Voth @SexCigarsBoozeAny…
“Butternut squash is a real let down. No butter. No nuts. Just squash”
"Butternut squash is a real let down. No butter. No nuts. Just squash" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "butternut squash is so dissappointing- no butter, no…
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one with a Starbucks drive-thru”
American poet Robert Frost (1874-1963) wrote in the poem "The Road Not Taken" (1916): "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all…
“I mostly use my driver’s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive”
There's an irony that people use a driver's license to buy alcohol. "I mostly use my driver's license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive" was posted on Reddit --…
“Apples are tastier when you cut them into slices”
Many people think apples taste best when they're cut into slices. "Apples taste so much better when you cut them into slices" was posted on Twitter on November 4, 2011. "Apples…
“A single piece of corn is technically a unicorn”
The fictional "unicorn" animal is not "a single piece of corn," but the joke has been printed on many images. "So is a unicorn like one single piece of corn?" was…
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one with tacos”
American poet Robert Frost (1874-1963) wrote in the poem "The Road Not Taken" (1916): "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all…
“Disney World is like a huge people trap that is operated by a mouse”
"Disneyland/Disney World is a people trap set by a mouse" is a joke that has been printed on many images. Disneyland opened in California in 1955; Disney World was opened in Florida in…
“Why do Uber drivers skip the gym?”/“Because they aren’t trying to Lyft.”
A joke about the transportation companies Uber and Lyft is: Q: Why do Uber drivers skip the gym?A: Because they aren't trying to Lyft. The joke was posted on Twitter on July 26, 2017.…
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one with a Starbucks drive-thru”
American poet Robert Frost (1874-1963) wrote in the poem "The Road Not Taken" (1916): "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all…
“Never play Uno with a Mexican. They take all the green cards”
A joke about the card game Uno has been printed on many images: Q: Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican?A: They steal all the green cards. The politically incorrect joke was posted on Twitter…
“Some days you’re the donut. Some days you’re the hole”
"Some days you're the donut, some days you're the hole" is a saying that has been printed on a Hallmark card. The saying is the same as "some days you win, some days you…
“If alcohol is liquid courage, is caffeine liquid anxiety?”
Alcohol has frequently been called "liquid courage." Caffeine has sometimes been called "liquid anxiety." "Consuming large amounts of caffeinated drinks is like drinking…
“Why do Uber drivers skip the gym?”/“Because they aren’t trying to Lyft.”
A joke about the transportation companies Uber and Lyft is: Q: Why do Uber drivers skip the gym?A: Because they aren't trying to Lyft. The joke was posted on Twitter on July 26, 2017.…
“Success is 10% inspiration, 95% perspiration and 5% math”
"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99 % perspiration" is a saying that is frequently credited to American inventor Thomas Edison (1847-1931). The percentages often vary, and a math joke is…
“All ice dispensers have only two settings: 1.No ice; 2.Holy Mother of God, that’s too much ice!!!”
Many ice dispensers seem to give either no ice or too much ice. "Our ice dispenser has two settings: -No ice -ENOUGH TO SINK THE TITANIC" -- a reference to the RMS Titanic that was sunk…
“What do you call a laughing motorcycle?”/“A Yamahahahahaha.”
The Yamaha Motor Company manufactures motorcycles. A joke on the Yamaha name—haha—is: Q: What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A: A Yamahahahahaha. The “Yamaha” joke has been cited in…
“I mostly use my driver’s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive”
There's an irony that people use a driver's license to buy alcohol. "I mostly use my driver's license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive" was posted on Reddit --…
“A rosé by any other name would taste as sweet”
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet," is a famous line from William Shakespeare's play, Romeo and Juliet. The line has been…
“A schlemiel is the guy who spills soup. A schlimazel is the guy he spills it on”
There is a classic explanation of the Yiddish terms "schlemiel" and "schlimazel": "A schlemiel is the guy who spills soup. A schlimazel is the guy he spills it on." A…