“What do you get when someone hits you with a couple of beer cans?”/“A brews.”
"Brews" sounds like "bruise." There have been several puns. "What do you get if you get hit by a tea bag? A brews!" was posted on Twitter on May 1, 2012. "A beer…
“Four brewery CEOs walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One version has four brewery CEOs enter. The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud Light. The CEO…
“What do you call the study of feminism?”/“Trigonometry.”
Several jokes have it that feminists study "trigonometry" or "triggernometry" (trigger + trigonometry). "If a tumblr feminist majors in Women's rights, what do they…
“Did you hear about the barista who became really buff? She’s been working on her French press”
A French press is not a piece of gym equipment, but there's a joke: "Did you hear about the barista who became really buff? She's been working on her French press."…
“How many sides does a ball have?”/“Two—the inside and the outside.”
A classic riddle is: Q: How many sides does a ball have?A: Two -- the inside and the outside. "How many sides has a tree?" was a question asked in many newspapers in 1851. "How many…
“Did you hear about the barista who became really buff? She’s been working on her French press”
A French press is not a piece of gym equipment, but there's a joke: "Did you hear about the barista who became really buff? She's been working on her French press."…
“What do you call the study of feminism?”/“Triggernometry.”
Several jokes have it that feminists study "trigonometry" or "triggernometry" (trigger + trigonometry). "If a tumblr feminist majors in Women's rights, what do they…
“Study Tip: Stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return”
"Study/Work Tip: Stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return" is a jocular work tip that has been printed on many images. "Study tip: Keep your…
“Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A chemistry version is: "Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walk into a…
“My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall, but it was his dumb asphalt”
"Asphalt" sounds like "ass fault." A pun was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 5, 2017: "My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall, but it was his dumb…
“The guy at the liquor store wrote me a prescription. Well. he called it a receipt…whatever”
"I'm not self medicating myself with booze. The guy at the liquor store wrote me a prescription. Well he called it a receipt...whatever" is a jocular drinking saying that has been…
“Do you play any sports?” (joke)
Is sex a sport? A popular joke is: DOCTOR: Do you play any sports?PATIENT: Does sex count?DOCTOR: Yes, of course.PATIENT: Then. no. The joke was posted on Twitter on July 11, 2015, and has been…
“There are no fish under the ice!” (ice fishing joke)
A popular ice fishing joke has been cited in print since at least 1990. A person is ice fishing when he (or she) hears a booming voice, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" The person then…
“Cowboys can never be accountants because all they do is round up”
A cowboy riddle has been cited in print since at least the early 2010s: Q: Why aren't cowboys good at math?A: Because they always round up! "Cowboys can never be accountants because all…
“Work Tip: Stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return”
"Study/Work Tip: Stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return" is a jocular work tip that has been printed on many images. "Study tip: Keep your…
“I don’t understand people that have goals like getting likes on their selfie”
People who take selfies might be overly self-absorbed, but what about those who obsess about likes? "I don't understand people that have goals like getting likes on their selfie" was…
“Free men do not ask for permission to bear arms”
"Free men do not ask for permission to bear arms" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter on August 30, 2009, and became popular on…
“Empty police cars are scarecrows for people”
When people see a police car by the side of the road, they tend to slow down -- whether the car is occupied or not. "Empty Police cars are scarecrows for people" was posted on Twitter on…
“Free people don’t ask for permission”
"Free people don't ask for permission" is an anti-government saying that has been printed on several images. The saying means that free people don't have to ask (or beg) for…
“I hate when the debit/credit card reader at the checkout asks if the amount is okay”
"I hate when the debit/credit card reader at the checkout asks if the amount is okay? No. It's not. I want all this crap for a dollar" is a jocular saying that has been printed on…