“You are not stuck in traffic. You are traffic”
"You are not stuck in traffic. You are traffic" is a pro-bike saying that has been printed on many images. "Your not Stuck in traffic; You are traffic" was posted on the…
“Swimming: The only sport in which the coach yells at you for breathing”
"Swimming: The only sport in which the coach yells at you for breathing" is a swimming saying that has been printed on many images. "Swimming, The only time you get punished for…
“A rolling stone gathers no moss. but a moving ceiling fan gathers dust like a motherfucker”
"A rolling stone gathers no moss" is an old saying. An addition to the proverb was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on December 4, 2016: "A rolling stone gathers no moss but a…
“Swimming is basically having fun trying not to drown”
"Swimming is basically having fun trying not to drown" is a saying that was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on December 5, 2016. The saying was posted again on Reddit -- Shower…
“Coating chicken in egg batter is pretty messed up when you think about it”
"Does anybody else think that dipping chicken in egg batter before frying it is a double insult?" is an observation that was posted on the newsgroup rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc on April 3,…
“Drinks well with others”
"Drinks well with others" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is similar to "works well with others" (said of an employee) and "plays well with…
“When do clocks die?”/“When their time is up.”
A clock riddle is: Q: When do clocks die?A: When their time is up. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google BooksBiggest Riddle Book in the WorldBy Joseph…
“Come to the nerd side. We have Pi”
"Come to the nerd side. We have Pi" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Don't fight it. Give in, come to the nerd-side. Also, we have cookies" was posted on…
“Alcohol may be the road to nowhere, but at least it’s the scenic route”
"Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route!" is a saying that was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on May 7, 1991. The saying about drugs became…
“What do you get if you cross a snake and a hot dog?”/“A fangfurter.”
A frankfurter riddle has been cited in print since at least 1976: Q: What is Count Dracula's favorite snack?A: A fangfurter? A snake version of the riddle was posted on Twitter on December 10,…
“My friend is so vegan, he won’t even have his picture taken because he’d have to say ‘cheese’”
A photographer sometimes gets people to smile by getting subjects to say "cheese." A joke is: "My friend is so vegan, he won't even have his picture taken because he'd have…
“Want to hear a joke about pizza?...Never mind, it’s too cheesy”
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's too cheesy" is a "cheesy" pizza joke that has been printed on many images. "Making pizza. I was going to tweet a…
“What do you call a pretend railway?”/“A play station.”
A riddle about PlayStation is: Q: What do you call a pretend railway?A: A play station. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on March 2, 2004. Wikipedia: PlayStationPlayStation…
Yellow Blanket on a Dead Cow (cheeseburger)
"Yellow blanket on a dead cow" is sometimes said to be diner slang for a cheeseburger. The "yellow blanket" is cheese, and the "dead cow" is a hamburger. However,…
“I was doing my vocabulary homework when suddenly I felt dizzy. I had to sit for a spell”
A pun about vocabulary homework is: "I was doing my vocabulary homework when suddenly I felt dizzy. I had to sit for a spell." The joke was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on September 2,…
“We had random drug testing at work today. The pcp was my favorite”
Some workplaces have drug testing. A joke is: "We had random drug testing at work today. The pcp was my favorite." The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 1, 2017. Reddit --…
“Latin’s not dead. It’s just Roman around”
Is Latin a dead language? "Latin isn't dead. It's just 'Roman' around," Sen. Charles Hagel (R-Neb.) said in 2004. It's likely that Hagel heard the joke from…
“How can you get rich by eating?”/“Eat fortune cookies.”
A fortune cookie riddle is: Q: How can you get rich by eating?A: Eat fortune cookies. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Wikipedia: Fortune cookieA fortune cookie is a crisp…
“The most used piece of equipment at the gym is the mirror”
"The most used piece of equipment at the gym is the mirror" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "The most under used and miss used equipment in the gym, is the…
“Warm beer and cold coffee are the same temperature”
Is "warm" beer really warm, or just not cold? Is "cold" coffee really cold, or just not warm? "A warm beer and a cold coffee may be the same temperature since the…