“What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?”/“Limburger.”
Limburger cheese (originating from the historical Duchy of Limburg, which is now divided between Belgium, Germany) doesn't contain any limbs, but there's a riddle: Q: What is a…
“Of all my body parts, my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day”
An eye roll isn't really much of a physical exercise, but there are jokes. An exercise saying has been printed on many images: "Of all my body parts, my eyes get the most exercise, I do…
“The earth used to be flat…until they buried yo mama”
A popular "yo mama" insult "fat joke" is: "The earth used to be flat...until they buried yo mama." "Yo mamas so fat, the earth was flat until somebody buried…
“The gold and other items of value placed in Egyptian tombs was the very first cryptocurrency”
"Cryptocurrency usually doesn't involve any ancient Egyptian crypts, but there have been several jokes. "I refuse to jump on the cryptocurrency bandwagon and instead will only pay in…
“$2.1 million worth of textbooks were stolen the other day. All eight books were recovered”
College textbooks are expensive. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 3, 2018: "$2.1 million worth of textbooks were stolen the other day. All eight books were recovered."…
“I go to the gym almost every day—almost Monday, almost Tuesday…”
"I go to the gym almost every day -- almost Monday, almost Tuesday..." is a joke spoken by someone who almost never goes to the gym. "I go to the gym almost every day. Almost Monday,…
“What type of singer sings about candy?”/“A candy wrapper.”
A music "rapper" shouldn't be confused with a candy "wrapper." "M&M (eminem) sings 'I'm a Candy Wrapper'" was posted on Twitter on May 27,…
“If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules”
"If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules" and "If a bacon package isn't resealable, it contains one serving. That's science. I…
“There’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a puppy, or just a pizza”
"There's something missing in my life and I don't know if it's a person, a puppy, or just a burrito/pizza" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I feel…
“Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef?”/“Because he’ll dessert you.”
A Valentine's Day riddle is told about a pastry chef: Q: Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef? A: S/he’ll just dessert you! The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“What type of singer sings about candy?”/“A candy wrapper.”
A music "rapper" shouldn't be confused with a candy "wrapper." "M&M (eminem) sings 'I'm a Candy Wrapper'" was posted on Twitter on May 27,…
“What’s the difference between an Afghani military base and a Pakistani elementary school?” (joke)
A military joke about drone killing has been printed on many images: Q: What's the difference between an Afghani military base and a Pakistani elementary school?A: I don't know. I just…
“Why do I keep paying the bills? It just encourages them to send more”
Paying bills seems, for many people, to be an endless cycle. "No, I never pay bills. It only encourages them to send more" was posted on Twitter on May 8, 2011. "Why do I keep paying…
“Are donuts made out of hole wheat?”
"Whole wheat" should not be confused with "hole wheat," but there have been jokes. "Are nutri-donuts called Hole Wheat Bread?" was posted on Twitter on May 26, 2011.…
“Why does fried duck get golden, crispy and delicious?”/“The mallard reaction.”
The Maillard reaction is the chemical reaction that gives browned food *such as grilled meat) its flavor. "Maillard" has nothing to do with "mallard" (a duck), but there have…
“What does a cow ride when his car is broken?”/“A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.”
A cow riddle has been cited in print since at least 2007: Q: What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A: A COW-askai MOO-torcycle. The Kawasaki motorcycle pun has been cited in print since at…
“What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer?”/“We are both lawyers!”
A popular lawyer anti-joke has been printed on several images: Q: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer?A: We are both lawyers! The joke was posted on Twitter on November 20, 2010. Twitter…
“Why is there a shirt and tie on the telly?”/“It’s a smart TV.”
A joke about a "smart TV" was posted on Twitter on May 19, 2013: "My wife said, 'Why is there a shirt and tie on the telly?' I said, 'It's a smart tv.'"…
“If confusion is the beginning of wisdom, I am totally on the right track”
"Confusion s the beginning of wisdom" is a saying of uncertain authorship. U.S. General Walter Bedell "Beetle" Smith (1895-1961) said this, as quoted in a 1992 book: “All I…
“How did the cheesemaker paint his wife?”/“He Double Gloucester.”
"Double Gloucester" is a cheese, but it sounds like "double glossed her." "I missed all that, 'cos I was giving my sister two coats of paint. Yes, I double glossed…