“Welcome to Chocoholics Anonymous. Would anyone like to pick a Topic?”
"Topic" is a chocolate bar made by Mars, Incorporated and sold in Europe. "Pick a topic any topic and i'll be ready in an hour! hmmm topic, nuts and chocolate!" was posted…
“Why does Superman hate trading Bitcoin after 7 p.m.?”/“Because it’s Crypto-night.”
The fictional comic superhero Superman has a weakness regarding Kryptonite; Bitcoin is a cryptocurrency. "Bitcoin is cryptonite superman!" was posted on Twitter on August 18, 2014.…
“What do you call a group of pirate ships?”/“An Arrrrrmada!”
A pirate riddle is: Q: What do you call a group of pirate ships?A: An Arrrrrmada. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. tapatalkreally stoopid/lame jokesnivek03 Dec 2007, 13:34…
“Please send an ambulance to 28 Eucalyptus Street” (joke)
A joke describes an accident, and a survivor calling 911 to send an ambulance right away. "Where is the address?" the operator asks. "28 Eucalyptus Street [or another complicated…
“What did the chicken do when she saw a bucket of fried chicken?”/“She kicked the bucket!”
A chicken riddle is: Q: What did the chicken do when she saw a bucket of fried chicken?A: She kicked the bucket! To "kick the bucket" means to die. The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“Why did the chicken end up in the soup?”/“Because it ran out of cluck.”
A chicken riddle is: Q: Why did the chicken end up in the soup?A: Because it ran out of cluck. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.support.trauma-ptsd on February 13, 2002. Google Groups:…
“Media: Scientist claims ‘Findings are meaningless’” (joke)
The media often take things out of context. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 21, 2018: Scientist: "My findings are meaningless if taken out of context."Media: Scientist…
“Why did the turtle cross the road?”/“To get to the Shell station.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A turtle version has been printed on several images: Q: Why did the…
“Where did the kittens go on their class trip?”/“To a mewseum.”
A "museum" has been called a "mewseum" since at least 1890 (if it has anything to do with cats). A riddle has been cited in print since at least 1992: Q: Where did the kittens…
“My TV keeps changing the channels by itself every few seconds. It’s an ADHD TV”
There is ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and HD TV (high-definition television), but ADHD TV? "Inventing: ADHD TV - has a high definition picture & changes channels…
“A corn maze is a maize maze”
"Maize" is corn; a "maze" is a labyrinth. A "corn maze" is the same thing as a "maize maze." The terms "corn maze" and "maize maze" were…
“Tried to start a dating site for chickens, but it didn’t work out. It was hard to make hens meet”
Many businesses "try to make ends meet," but what if it's a chicken business? "This Malkin is a very punny man. He described a poultry farmer as a man just trying to make hens…
“Froot Loops are just gay Cheerios”
"Froot/Fruit Loops are just gay Cheerios" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Froot Loops (unlike the regular flavor of Cheerios) come in many colors, like the LGBT rainbow…
“What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of cookie?”/“Ships Ahoy!”
A pirate riddle is: Q: What's a pirate's favorite kind of cookie?A: Ships Ahoy! The Chips Ahoy! cookie pun has been cited in print since at least 2003. Wikipedia: Chips Ahoy!Chips Ahoy!…
“What does a cannibalistic cow eat?”/“Can o bull.”
"Cannibal" sounds like "can o' bull." "Can O' Bull Chief" was a short movie feature in 1928. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on January 21, 2018:…
“My dad’s brother eats loads of pasta. He’s my carbuncle”
A "carbuncle" has nothing to do with "carbs" and "uncles," but there have been puns. "Is that your parent's brother feeding you pasta?" was posted on…
“What does a vegan pirate do in jail?”/“Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve!”
A pirate riddle is: Q: What does a vegan pirate do in jail?A: Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve! The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. Karma-Lab Forums Pirate Jokeskahrayzee 26-Jun-03, 04:15…
“Why did the suicidal chicken cross the road?”/“To get to the other cyanide.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A suicidal chicken version is: Q: Why did the suicidal chicken cross…
“The font family changed their TV today. It wasn’t working with their Arial”
"Arial" is a sans-serif typeface and set of computer fonts; an "aerial" is an antenna; "Ariel" is a mermaid character in the Disney animated film The Little Mermaid…
“Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross the road again?” (riddle)
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A "double-crossing" version is: Q: Why did the chicken…