“It’s Friday!!!! Sorry, just practicing for tomorrow”
"It's Friday!!!! Sorry, just practicing for tomorrow" is a Thursday saying that has been printed on many images. "Hooray, it's Friday! (just practicing for tomorrow"…
“If a cop tells you to put your hands in the air, don’t wave them like you just don’t care”
“Throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care” is a saying that became popular in the 1980s. What if the police tell you to put your hands in the air? "When a cop tells you to…
“Tacos are just well-organized nachos”
Both tacos and nachos share the same ingredients, but to many, the ingredients are "better organized" inside tacos. "Tacos are just highly organized nachos" was posted on…
“Another day has passed and I didn’t use Algebra once”
"Another day has passed and I didn't use Algebra once" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The person making the saying is an adult, regretting the pain of…
“Since I changed my smartphone’s name to Titanic, it’s been syncing”
"Syncing" sounds like "sinking." A popular smartphone joke mentions the RMS Titanic, a British passenger liner that sank in the Atlantic Ocean on April 15, 2012. This joke was…
“There is a button on my oven that says ‘stop time’”
Most ovens come with a timer. "There's a button on my oven that says 'Stop Time.' I don't think I should have that much power over the universe" was posted on Twitter…
“Celery is the only food that has both ranch dressing and peanut butter as acceptable toppings”
Celery is frequently eaten with ranch dressing or peanut butter -- two very different foods. "Wonders if the sole purpose of celery is to be used as a spoon for ranch dressing/dip/peanut…
“I bought an expensive ruler, just for good measure”
The expression "for good measure" usually doesn't involve actual measuring, but there are jokes. "I needed to buy a new ruler and they were 2 for 50p. I bought an extra one for…
“There is a button on my oven that says ‘stop time’”
Most ovens come with a timer. "There's a button on my oven that says 'Stop Time.' I don't think I should have that much power over the universe" was posted on Twitter…
“Which Kebab do you want?”/“Kalmi maybe.”
"Kalmi" kebab sounds a little like "call me." There have been puns with the Carly Rae Jepsen song "Call Me Maybe." "Half-cooked kebab - kalmi maybe" was…
“Why did the piglets do badly in school?”/“They were all slow loiners.”
A piglet riddle is: Q: Why did the piglets do badly in school?A: They were all slow loiners. The "loiners"/"learners" pun was posted on Twitter on December 14, 2009.…
“What do you call a drunk humanitarian?”/“A philanthroPISSED.”
"Philanthropissed" (philanthropist + pissed) is a jocular portmanteau word that has had several defintions. "That well known philanthropissed the Jersey Jagsfan" was posted on…
“Wednesday is like small Friday”
"Wednesday is like small Friday" is a saying that has been printed on an image. "The Wednesday is a small Friday" was posted on the newsgroup soc.penpals on December 8, 1997.…
“It’s a great day to curl up with a book, then ignore it because, ya know, the internet”
"Everyday is a great day to curl up with a really good book and then completely ignore it because, ya know, the Internet" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "Sunday…
“Three boxes govern the world” (ballot box, jury box, cartouch box)
"Four boxes govern the world -- the cartridge box, the jury box, the ballot box, and the band box" is a saying that was very popular in the 19th century. (A band box holds articles of…
“Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very difficult?”/“Because X was always 10.”
An algebra riddle has been printed on many images: Q: Why didn't the Romans find algebra very difficult?A: Because X was always 10. "The Romans didn't find algebra very challenging,…
“Do not meddle in the affairs of Unix, for it is subtle and quick to core dump”
"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger" is from The Fellowship of the Ring (1954) by J. R. R. Tolkien (1892-1973). There have been many jocular…
“Idioms are not my cup of coffee”
The expression "cup of tea" (or "not my cup of tea") means a preference. "Idioms are not my cup of tea" was posted on Twitter by Jenny Wade on March 27, 2012.…
Cab Calloway’s “Hepster’s Dictionary” (1938, 1944)
Cab Calloway (1907-1994) was an American jazz singer and bandleader. He published a "Hepster's Dictionary" in 1938, with another edition in 1944. The dictionary contained much Harlem…
“Why didn’t the dog want to play football?”/“It was a boxer.”
A dog riddle is: Q: Why didn't the dog want to play football?A: It was a boxer. The "boxer" pun has been cited in print since at least 2001. Wikipedia: Boxer (dog)The Boxer is a…