“What do you call an ice cream truck operator?”/“A sundae driver.”
A "Sunday driver" is someone who drives slowly (and often poorly), There are several puns about a "sundae driver." An early pun involves a driver who eats ice cream. "A…
“In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these”
Entry in progress -- B.P."In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Wikipedia: Paul…
“An etymologist, an entomologist, and an etiologist walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." People often confuse an "entomologist" (a scientist who studies insects) with an…
“Laughter is like a windshield wiper. It doesn’t stop the rain, but allows us to keep going”
"Laughter is like a windshield wiper. It doesn't stop the rain, but allows us to keep going" is a saying that has been printed on many images. “Le rire c’est comme les…
“Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open”
Entry in progress -- B.P."Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Wikipedia: John BarrymoreJohn…
“You will find the key to success under the alarm clock”
Entry in progress -- B.P. 31 August 1926, News-Democrat (Belleville, IL), pg. 8, col. 8:Note to "Discouraged": You will find the key to success under the alarm clock. 15 October 1926,…
“Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren’t very new after all”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Abraham LincolnAbraham Lincoln (February 12, 1809 – April 15, 1865) was an American statesman and lawyer who served as the 16th President of the United States…
“A blank piece of paper is God’s way of telling us how hard it is to be God”
Entry in progress -- B.P."A blank piece of paper is God's way of telling us how hard it is to be God" is a saying that has been printed on many images. 27 November 1986, Los Angeles…
“If the recipe sucks, it doesn’t matter how good a cook you are”
"If the recipe sucks, it doesn't matter how good (of) a cook you are" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American author, entrepreneur and public speaker Tim Ferriss…
“You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising”
"You never realize how long a minute is until you're exercising" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There is no particular author because there are many…
“Waiter: How do you like your eggs? Diner: I don’t know. I haven’t gotten them yet.”
"How do you like your eggs?" usually means "How do you like your eggs prepared?" A popular joke is: Waiter: How do you like your eggs? Diner: I don't know. I haven't…
“It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do”
"It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The golf saying has been cited in print since at least 1993. Google Books1001 Ways…
“Chips are just edible spoons”
Chips can be used to scoop things like queso or guacamole. "Use salsa where you prefer larger quantities adhering to the food, ie. chips n' dips... whereas chips are merely edible…
“Why is the cook worried about catching his runaway pig?”/“He knows a little ham goes a long way.”
"A little ham goes a long way" is a culinary expression, but there's a riddle: Q: Why is the cook worried about catching his runaway pig?A: He knows a little ham goes a long way. The…
“Doctor, why do I toot like a motorcycle?”/“Because abscess makes the fart go Honda.”
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is an old proverb. A shortened version of a parody is: Patient: Doctor, why do I toot like a motorcycle?Doctor: Because abscess makes the fart go…
“Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold”
"Too many people miss the silver lining because they're expecting gold" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. The expression "every cloud has a silver…
“You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising”
"You never realize how long a minute is until you're exercising" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There is no particular author because there are many…
“Why are horses lousy at voting?”/“They only vote neigh.”
Horses that vote "neigh" (nay) is an old joke. "If a horse were in Congress, how would he vote? Neigh!" was printed in the Alabama Beacon (Greensboro, AL) on August 3, 1850.…
“Hang On, Peace Exists” (“hope” backronym)
"Hang On, Peace Exists" is a backronym (back acronym) of the word “hope” that has been printed on many images. "H(ang) O(n), P(eace) E(xists)!"was posted on the newsgroup…
“What Our Recovery Knows” (“work” backronym)
"What Our Recovery Knows" is a backronym (back acronym) of the word "work." "AA-related 'Alconym' . . .W O R K = What Our Recovery Knows" was posted on the…