“Gongs are just really flat bells”
Gongs have been compared to cymbals and bells. "A gong is really just a squinting cymbal #asianjoke" was posted on Twitter on April 9, 2012. "A gong is just an asian status…
“Pizza is just an unfolded Italian burrito”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterDenton Froese@LabvilleReplying to @maptheblue@envczk Is that a pizza or an unfolded burrito? (Either way, yum.)5:12 PM - 22 Feb 2014…
“Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement—just click on ‘I agree’”
"Arguing with a woman is like reading the software license agreement. In the end, you ignore everything and click 'I agree'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several…
“Calzones are just Italian empanadas”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- Shower ThoughtsCalzones are like Italian burritossubmitted November 21, 2016 by drunk_opinion_altCOMMENTSHamPlanetJanetNot quite. Burrito is rolled to close it…
“A soft taco is just an unfolded burrito”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- TreesI just realized a soft taco is just an unfolded burrito (self.trees)submitted July 31, 2012 by HDfriedwow that was awesome Reddit -- Shower ThoughtsA soft…
“Only one thing is worser than an almoster and that is a never tryer”
"Only one thing is worser than an almoster and that is a never tryer" is a motivation saying that was posted on Twitter by DOug Sandler on May 12, 2015. An image of the saying is on the…
“Not sure if I’m raw vegan or too lazy to cook”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterErica Pablo@ericapabloEveryone, including me, is too lazy to cook today. I'm a reluctant raw vegan at the moment.9:37 PM - 20 Mar 2012 Twitter…
“I posed naked for a men’s fitness magazine. The cashier would have preferred I’d just paid for it”
A fitness magazine joke was posted on Twitter by Jonny Cooper on September 5, 2013: "Last week I posed naked for a men's fitness magazine. I think the cashier would have preferred…
“A Rastafarian walks into a bank with a bag of marijuana. He wanted to open a joint account”
A joke about a "joint" bank account has been cited in print since at least 2009: "A Rastafarian walks into a bank with a huge bag of dagga wanting to open a joint account."…
Triple H (hazy, hot and humid)
"Triple H" weather is hazy, hot and humid. "It's one of those Triple H (Hazy, Hot and Humid) mornings that we've been having lately" was printed in the New York (NY)…
Not A Space Agency (NASA nickname)
The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) has produced so much disinformation, in some critics' opinions, that it has been given the backronym (back acronym) of "Not A…
“They all laughed when I wore one puff pastry boot. But now the choux’s on the other foot”
Choux pastry has had many "choux is on the other foot" puns. "Accidentally stepped on a chocolate eclair someone had dropped. The cream squirted onto my left trainer and the choux…
“Somebody should market a beer called ‘Occasionally’ so I can say, ‘I only drink occasionally’”
"They need to make a beer called 'Occasionally', so when I tell people that I only drink occasionally, they wont judge me" is a joke that was posted on Twitter on August 24,…
“Why was the student’s report card wet?”/“Because his grades were below C-level.”
A report card riddle is: Q: Why was the student's report card wet?A: Because his grades were below C level. The "C level" (sea level) joke was printed in several newspapers in 1973.…
“May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on social media”
"May your life (someday) be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/social media" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "May your life someday be as…
“If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster”
Can cooking alphabet soup spell trouble? "If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup Google Groups:…
American Criminal Lovers Union (American Civil Liberties Union nickname)
The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) was founded in 1920, with the mission "to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed to every person in this country by the…
“I’m traveling to Greenwich tomorrow. I’m not sure what to do in the Mean Time”
There have been several puns about Greenwich Mean Time. "Ok, so you go to the market in Greenwich then watch meteors in the park. What do you do in the MeanTime" was posted on Twitter on…
Anti-Christian Liberals Union (American Civil Liberties Union nickname)
The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) was founded in 1920, with the mission "to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed to every person in this country by the…
“Just got a job as senior director at Old MacDonald’s Farm. I’m the CIEIO”
The "EIEIO" in the song "Old MacDonald's Farm" shouldn't be confused with the position of "CEO," but there are jokes. "@TheFagCasanova: Old…