“I failed my italic writing exam with straight A’s”
"@brianshelf - I failed my Italics exam with straight As. #fb" is a jocular one-line saying that was posted on Twitter on August 18, 2011. "Failed my italic writing exam with…
“I ran 5 miles for the first time. I didn’t think that ice cream truck would ever stop!”
Some people run...for ice cream? "I Ran Five Miles Today.....Damn Ice Cream Truck Still Didn't Stop...Even Though I Was Yellin & Wavin My Money At Him!!" was posted on Twitter on…
“My accountant went to see a psychiatrist because he kept hearing strange invoices”
Crazy people hear strange voices. Do crazy accountants and billing clerks hear strange invoices? "Horace McGonigle has heard about the billing clerk who went to a psychiatrist because…
“Interviewer: Your reference letters said that you take things too literally” (joke)
A job interview joke was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on June 17, 2018: Interviewer: Your reference letters said that you take things too literally.Me: Whoa! Reference letters can talk now? The…
“Why are Americans so dumb?”/“Because they shoot the ones who go to school.”
A possibly politically incorrect joke on the subject of school shootings was posted on Reddit -- MeanJokes on July 6, 2018: Q: Why are Americans so dumb?A: Because they shoot the ones who go to…
“Adblock should buy out Times Square and replace signs with ‘This ad blocked by Adblock’”
New York City's Times Square has many advertising signs -- by law. It has often been compared to ad blocking on the internet. "Browsing the web in general without #AdBlock is like being…
“Times Square is like using the internet without ad-block”
New York City's Times Square has many advertising signs -- by law. It has often been compared to ad blocking on the internet. "Browsing the web in general without #AdBlock is like being…
“Heat, Pressure, and Time. The three things that make a diamond, also make a waffle”
"'Time, heat and pressure. The same things that make a diamond also make a waffle.' ~Scott Meyer" was posted on the newsgroup Google Groups: seattle.eats on June 14, 2001.…
“Times Square is like using the internet without ad-block”
New York City's Times Square has many advertising signs -- by law. It has often been compared to ad blocking on the internet. "Browsing the web in general without #AdBlock is like being…
“I ran 5 miles for the first time. I didn’t think that ice cream truck would ever stop!”
Some people run...for ice cream? "I Ran Five Miles Today.....Damn Ice Cream Truck Still Didn't Stop...Even Though I Was Yellin & Wavin My Money At Him!!" was posted on Twitter on…
“What do you get if you stuff your computer’s disk drive with herbs?”/“A thyme machine.”
A computer "time machine" pun has been cited in print since at least 2002: Q: What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs?A: A thyme machine. Actrix Newsletter…
“Why did the boy eat his cash?”/“Because it was his dinner money.”
"Dinner money" is money to buy dinner. The money itself is not dinner, but a popular riddle is: Q: Why did the boy eat his cash?A: Because it was his dinner money. The joke has been cited…
“Why did the boy eat his cash?”/“Because it was his dinner money.”
"Dinner money" is money to buy dinner. The money itself is not dinner, but a popular riddle is: Q: Why did the boy eat his cash?A: Because it was his dinner money. The joke has been cited…
“What do you get if you stuff your computer’s disk drive with herbs?”/“A thyme machine.”
A computer "time machine" pun has been cited in print since at least 2002: Q: What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs?A: A thyme machine. Actrix Newsletter…
“I do ten sit ups every morning. It might not sound like much, but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button”
"I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. To the…
“Will I be able to play the banjo after surgery?” (joke)
AN old joke has a patient ask his doctor, “Will I be able to play the piano after the operation?” The doctor assures him "yes," and the patient says, "That's great! I was…
“How was the hamburger murdered?”/“First it was ‘rolled,’ then smothered in onions.”
A hamburger riddle is: Q: How was the hamburger murdered? A: First it was "rolled," then smothered in onions. The joke was printed in the book 101 Hamburger Jokes: Meaty Jokes to be…
“I bet acting like assholes on the Internet isn’t where we all thought we’d be”
"I bet acting like assholes on the Internet isn't where we all thought we'd be at this point in our lives" is an internet saying that was posted on Twitter by Blisssy on June 8,…
“What do you get if you stuff your computer’s disk drive with herbs?”/“A thyme machine.”
A computer "time machine" pun has been cited in print since at least 2002: Q: What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs?A: A thyme machine. Actrix Newsletter…
“Whiskey. Because who in the hell needs feelings”
"Whiskey -- because who in the hell needs feelings" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Bourbon. Because who in the hell needs feelings" was posted on…