“Life has its ups and downs. We call them squats”
"Life has its ups and downs. We call them squats" is a saying that has been printed on many images."Ups and Downs (and I'm NOT just talking about squats!)" was posted on…
“What happened to the plant in math class?”/“It grew square roots.”
A math riddle has been printed on several images: Q: What happened to the plant in math class?A: It grew square roots. The "square roots" joke has been cited in print since at least 1961.…
“Excuses are the rocks where our dreams are crushed”
"Excuses are the rocks where our dreams are crushed" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. American author, keynote speaker, angel investor and entrepreneur Tim…
“Faith can move mountains, but don’t be surprised if God hands you a shovel”
"Faith can move mountains, but don't be surprised if God hands you a shovel" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been printed in several…
“When a woman puts me in the friend zone, I immediately borrow money from her”
Do true friend let you borrow money and never pay it back. Jay posted this joke on Twitter on September 27, 2013: "When a woman puts me in the friend zone the first thing I do is borrow money…
“If a woman puts me in the friend zone, I immediately borrow money from her”
Do true friend let you borrow money and never pay it back. Jay posted this joke on Twitter on September 27, 2013: "When a woman puts me in the friend zone the first thing I do is borrow money…
“It bothers me when I see tax money wasted on signs telling deer where to cross the road”
"Deer crossing" signs are to inform drivers about deer, not to inform deer where to cross the road. "And it (government -- ed.) has gone a step further and informed the deer where to…
“What did the TV do at the beach?”/“Channel surf.”
"Channel surfing" means changing television channels. It is not like water surfing, but a riddle is: Q: What did the TV do at the beach?A: Channel surf. The joke has been cited in print…
“Who is the strongest thief?”/“A shoplifter.”
A "shoplifter" lifts (steals) things from shops, but doesn't actually lift the shops themselves. A riddle is: Q: Who is the strongest thief?A: A shoplifter. The joke has been cited…
“I was shopping online and saw a horse that I rather liked. So I clicked ‘Add to cart’”
Online shopping often has the option "Add to cart." This cart doesn't involve a horse, but a joke was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on September 29, 2010: "I was shopping…
“I never drive on back roads after smoking marijuana, because it’s not the high way”
A "highway" is not necessarily for people who are "high," but a joke was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on July 10, 2018: "I never drive on back roads after smoking…
“Do you serve fishcakes?” (restaurant joke)
A "fishcake" is a cake made out of fish, but a joke has it that a "fish cake" is a cake made for a fish. The fishcake joke was posted on the newsgroup cableinet.chatter on June…
“Nothing is impossible with the right attitude and a hammer”
"Nothing is impossible with the right attitude and a hammer" is a jocular motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "All is possible with the right attitude and a…
“What kind of work does a weak cat do?”/“Light mouse work.”
Many classified ads state "light house work." In 1950, several classified ads offering kittens stated that they do "light mouse work." A riddle has been cited in print since at…
“I always thought growing lettuce would be hard. Turns out it’s not rocket science”
"Its not record science" -- that is, it's not complicated -- is an expression that has been popular since at least the 1980s. “It’s not rocket salad” is a joke based on the…
“Saw a fat kid wearing an ‘I Love Hip Hop” shirt. The letters ‘C’ and ‘S’ must have washed off”
"Just seen a fat bird wearing a t-shirt saying ‘I Love hip hop’....... ha ha.... the c and the s must have fallen off!!" was posted on Twitter by dan.e.ligner on February 10, 2011.…
“I can’t even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory”
Some jobs provide temptations. Who can resist popping a bubble wrap? "Hardest job ever: Working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self-control needed" and "I can’t even imagine…
“Saw a fat kid wearing an ‘I Love Hip Hop” shirt. The letters ‘C’ and ‘S’ must have washed off”
"Just seen a fat bird wearing a t-shirt saying ‘I Love hip hop’....... ha ha.... the c and the s must have fallen off!!" was posted on Twitter by dan.e.ligner on February 10, 2011.…
“Do you serve fish cakes?” (restaurant joke)
A "fishcake" is a cake made out of fish, but a joke has it that a "fish cake" is a cake made for a fish. The fishcake joke was posted on the newsgroup cableinet.chatter on June…
“Hardest job ever: Working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self-control needed”
Some jobs provide temptations. Who can resist popping a bubble wrap? "Hardest job ever: Working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self-control needed" and "I can’t even imagine…