“Christmas is just Thanksgiving with presents”
Christmas (a December holiday) is often compared to Thanksgiving (a November holiday). "Christmas is just Thanksgiving with gifts/presents" is a common saying. "In my fam Christmas…
“I still can’t believe people’s survival instincts told them to grab toilet paper”
"I still can't believe people's survival instincts told them to grab toilet paper" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic…
“I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye”
"I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye" is a pun on the famous line in the Johnny Cash song "Folsom Prison Blues" (1953), "I shot a man in Reno, just to…
“Our 3-year-old said she wanted a spirit guest. 3 exorcisms later, we realized she wanted asparagus”
"Asparagus" can sound like "a spirit guest." The following was posted on Instagram on October 10, 2019: my name is no.@om_eye_goodness my 3 year old kept saying she "wants…
“The police asked me if I would take a lie detector. I said yes…” (joke)
"The police asked me if I would take a lie detector. I said yes, Now I have been charged with conspiracy to commit theft" was posted on Twitter by Michael Kulezich on November 29, 2014.…
“My wife texted me this morning, ‘Windows frozen, won’t open’” (computer joke)
Microsoft Windows should not be confused with the windows of a house, but there are jokes. "Wife to hubby at work:Windows frozen what shall I do? Hubby:Spray de-icer or hot water on them Wife:…
“Christmas is just Thanksgiving with gifts”
Christmas (a December holiday) is often compared to Thanksgiving (a November holiday). "Christmas is just Thanksgiving with gifts/presents" is a common saying. "In my fam Christmas…
“My favorite way to online shop is to yell out what I’m looking for & wait for the Facebook ads”
"My favorite way to online shop is just yelling out exactly what I’m looking for until an ad for it pops up on my feed" was posted on Twitter by Janet Forklift on October 4, 2020. The…
One Armed Scissor (vodka and Red Bull)
"One Armed Scissor" is another name for Vodka Red Bull. This was popularized by the song "One Armed Scissor" (2000) by the American post-hardcore band At the Drive-In. "In…
“I’m so poor my only funds are daylight savings”
Daylight Savings Time is not monetary savings, but there are jokes. "I'm so poor by the end of next month even my daylight savings account will be depleted" was posted on Twitter by…
“Never accept the government infringing upon your freedom as necessary or justified”
"Never accept the government infringing upon your freedom as necessary or justified" is a saying that has been printed on an image. "Never accept the government infringing upon your…
“An ice cube is just a loaf of water”
Ice is the solid form of water. "Hey so uh ice is just a loaf of water" was posted on Twitter by Chief Dumbass @ Dumbass inc. on April 27, 2018. "Ice is just a loaf of water"…
“A block of ice is just a loaf of water”
Ice is the solid form of water. "Hey so uh ice is just a loaf of water" was posted on Twitter by Chief Dumbass @ Dumbass inc. on April 27, 2018. "Ice is just a loaf of water"…
Ritualistic Shame Muzzle (face mask)
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in face mask requirements. Some people who objected to the face masks called them "shame muzzles" and "ritualistic shame…
“You can’t fool an aborted fetus. It wasn’t born yesterday”
"You can fool me. I wasn't born yesterday" is a way of saying that one is experienced and not naive. It does not literally mean that someone was not "born yesterday," but…
“Ice is just a loaf of water”
Ice is the solid form of water. "Hey so uh ice is just a loaf of water" was posted on Twitter by Chief Dumbass @ Dumbass inc. on April 27, 2018. "Ice is just a loaf of water"…
“You can’t fool an aborted baby because it wasn’t born yesterday”
"You can fool me. I wasn't born yesterday" is a way of saying that one is experienced and not naive. It does not literally mean that someone was not "born yesterday," but…
Shame Muzzle (face mask)
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in face mask requirements. Some people who objected to the face masks called them "shame muzzles" and "ritualistic shame…
“Remember, the only thing standing between you and your dreams is your appearance…”
"Remember, the only thing standing between you and your dreams is..." is a motivational saying. A demotivational twist on this was posted on Twitter by jordan on March 15, 2016:…
“A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughter’s school concert”
Farting is sometimes calling "tooting." Is this tooting louder than a trombone? "A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughter's school concert.…