“IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got”
"IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got" is a saying that's appeared on T-shirts and bumper stickers. "A tax collector has what it takes to take what…
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“People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women”
"People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women" is an old joke showing that everybody complains about taxes. The joke has been cited since at least 1944,…
“A fine is a tax for doing wrong; a tax is a fine for doing okay”
A popular anti-tax saying (showing how taxes penalize success) is: "A fine is a tax you have to pay for doing wrong. A tax is a fine you have to pay for doing okay." The saying has been…
“I’m proud to pay taxes; I could be just as proud for half the money”
Arthur Godfrey (1903-1983) made a fortune in hosting radio and television talent show. The October 1951 Reader's Digest quoted Godfrey: "I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United…
“World Ends: Women and Minorities Hardest Hit” (NY Times headline joke)
A conservative joke shows how a liberal newspaper -- such as the New York (NY) Times or Washington (DC) Post or Austin (TX) American-Statesman -- would headline the ultimate disaster: "World…
“Assume you have a can opener” (economics joke about opening a food can)
A popular economics joke has a physicist, a chemist, and an economist all stranded on a desert island. There is one can of food, but nothing to open it with. The physicist presents his proposed…
“A correction is when you lose money and a bear market is when I lose money”
What's the difference between a short-term "market correction" and a "bear market" or a "crash"? A joke says that the difference is not how far stocks have…
“An actuary is a someone who wanted to be an accountant, but didn’t have the personality for it”
"An actuary is a someone who wanted to be an accountant, but didn't have the personality for it" is an old joke about the actuarial profession. The reverse is also told: "An…
“The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country…”
"The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country..." is a humorous list describing the readers of various newspapers. The New York (NY) Times "is read by people who…
“Saskatchewan is much like Texas — except it’s more friendly to the United States”
"Saskatchewan is very much like Texas — except it's more friendly to the United States" is often attributed to American politician Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965), who made the remark…
“I’m not a member of any organized political party—I’m a Democrat”
"I'm not a member of any organized political party -- I'm a Democrat" is a famous political quotation attributed to humorist Will Rogers (1879-1935), although Rogers said it a…
“If you’re not the lead dog, the view never changes”
Humorist Robert Benchley (1889-1945) used this line in the film The Road to Utopia (1946): "Did you ever stop to think of one of those dog sled teams? The lead dog is the only one that ever…
“When you’re about to get run out of town on a rail, get out in front and call it a parade”
"When you’re about to get run out of town on a rail, get out in front and call it a parade" is an old saying of how to turn around a bad situation. The saying has been cited in print…
“Bears make headlines, bulls make money”
"Bears make the headlines and bulls make the money" was used by financial writer Malcolm Berko in 1990. In 1993, Berko wrote that, in 1963: "I had lunch with Bernard Baruch, and one…
“Elephants don’t gallop” (investment adage)
"Elephants don't gallop" is an investment adage that Jim Slater (a former investment columnist for London's Sunday Telegraph) made famous some time before 1993. Slater meant…
Land of Two Summers (Alamo city nickname)
The city of Alamo, Texas, in the Rio Grande Valley, is a popular destination for Winter Texans. Alamo has been nicknamed "Land of Two Summers," cited in print since at least 1978.…
Teh Blahz (The Blaze website nickname)
The Blaze is a conservative news website, founded by Fox News host Glenn Beck, that premiered on August 31, 2010. On October 30, 2010, commenter "epkkik851" at Media Matters for America…
Political Suicide
"Political suicide" is for a politician to support an unpopular (or highly contested) political position. For example, many people said that that it would be political suicide in 2009 for…
Hardball
Chris Matthews popularized the political term "hardball" with his book, Hardball: How politics is played, told by one who knows the game (1988), and his MSNBC political show (since 1999),…
“Bad politicians are elected by good citizens who don’t vote”
"Bad politicians are elected by good citizens who don't vote" has been attributed to drama critic George Jean Nathan (1882-1958), but there's no evidence that he said it first…