“What did the salt say to the pepper?”/“Season’s greetings.”
A joke about salt and pepper shskers is: Q: What did the salt say to the pepper?A: Season's greetings. The food joke has been cited in print since at least 1995. “What did the salt say to…
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“How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (lawyer joke)
The "lightbulb joke" has a version that involves lawyers: Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It depends on how many you can afford. This joke has been cited in…
“If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter”
Principal McGee (actress Eve Arden) said in the 1950s nostalgia movie musical Grease (1978): "If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter." An athletic supporter is also a…
Jewish Time
"Jewish time" is a sometimes offensive term for "late." A similar term is "colored people's time." The expressions are sometimes not regarded as offensive if told…
Swexit (Switzerland + exit)
"Brexit” (Great Britain/British + exit) is a word created to define a possible British exit from the eurozone. "Brexit" has been cited in print since at least May 2012. A similar…
Frexit (France/French + exit)
"Brexit” (Great Britain/British + exit) is a word created to define a possible British exit from the eurozone. "Brexit" has been cited in print since at least May 2012. A similar…
Czexit (Czech Republic + exit)
"Brexit” (Great Britain/British + exit) is a word created to define a possible British exit from the eurozone. "Brexit" has been cited in print since at least May 2012. A similar…
“Incongruous: Where bills are passed”
"Incongruous" sounds like "in Congress," prompting the jocular definition: "Incongruous: Where bills are passed." The language pun has been cited in print since at…
“A naked woman walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." The "naked woman walks into a bar" joke has three versions. The first version…
“Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex?” (lawyer joke)
One popular lawyer joke involves lawyers screwing their clients: Q. Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers from having sex with clients?A. They don't want clients to be screwed twice…
“If Patrick Henry thought taxation without representation was bad…”
"Taxation without representation is tyranny" was a slogan of the American Revolution. A modern version of the saying is: "If Patrick Henry thought taxation without representation was…
“If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?”
A popular joke about "repossession" was told after the release of the film The Exorcist (1973). This joke was cited in February 1974: "Did you hear of the man who refused to pay his…
“If you exercise, you might get a trophy. If you don’t, you might get atrophy”
"If you exercise, you might get a trophy. If you don't, you might get atrophy" is a popular meme. "My trainer told me even if I don't win a trophy, I could get…
“Old mathematicians never die—they just lose some of their functions”
"Old soldiers never die -- they just fade away” is an old saying that was popularized by General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964) in his farewell address to Congress on April 19, 1951. Many…
“Two random variables were talking in a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A math version is: "Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were…
“Short form, the government gets your money; long form, the CPA gets it”
The Internal Revenue Service has Form 1040 for individual income taxes, and Form 1040EZ ("short form") for simple individual income taxes. A popular joke is that with the short form, the…
“Make the little things count. Teach midgets math”
"Make the little things count. Teach midgets math" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. The line -- without "midgets" -- is from the 19th century. "Makes…
“What did the salt say to the pepper?”/“Hey. what’s shaking?”
A joke about salt and pepper shskers is: Q: What did the salt say to the pepper?A: Hey, what's shaking? The food joke has been cited in print since at least 1970. “What did the salt say to…
“Yes, but I still love you more than I love basketball” (sports joke)
A popular joke illustrates a man's love for sports: "Complained the wife: 'You love football more than you love me.' Replied the husband: 'Yeah, but I love you more than I…
“There are no markets anymore, just interventions”
Chris Powell, Secretary/Treasurer of the Gold Anti-Trust Action Committee (GATA), gave a speech titled "There are no markets anymore, just interventions" in April 2008. Powell said about…