“I give the eclipse one star”
How does one rate an eclipse? How many stars? "I score the eclipse, minus one star" was posted on Twitter on March 20, 2015. Reviewers of the August 21, 2017 solar eclipse were more…
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“Where do Martians drink beer?”/“At a Mars bar.”
A pun on the "Mars" chocolate bar is: Q: Where do Martians drink beer?A: At a Mars bar. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. Wikipedia: Mars (chocolate bar)Mars is a…
“With Google Earth, people can see any place on the globe. But we just look up our homes”
Google Earth gives people the opportunity to see the world, but what do many people do? "Google earth, you can go anywhere but for some reason we always look up our own house!" was posted…
“Solar energy is just nuclear energy from a safe distance”
Solar energy can be compared to nuclear energy. "When you think about it, #solar energy IS #nuclear energy... and I like my nuclear reactors 94 million miles away from my home -K.S." was…
“I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company. I’m now the main stake holder”
A joke on the term "stakeholder" is: "I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company. I'm now the main stake holder." The joke was posted on Sickipedia and Twitter on…
“Yo mama is so fat, when she went skydiving she caused an eclipse”
A popular "yo mama" insult "fat joke" is: "Yo mama is so fat, when she went skydiving she caused an eclipse." The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on August…
“I would get up early and jog in the morning, but I don’t want to be the guy to find dead bodies”
There are many excuses for not taking a morning jog. "Ever noticed how it's always early morning joggers or dog owners that find dead bodies? Think that's a reason to not jog and own…
“Why did the chili pepper cross the road?”/“To get to the Otherside.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A version inspired by the band Red Hot Chili Peppers is: Q: Why did…
“We live in a world where community service is a punishment”
Is serving the community a punishment? "When did Community service become a punishment?" was posted on Twitter on June 22, 2009. "It's sad that we live in a world where…
“Yo mama is so fat, when she went skydiving she caused an eclipse”
A popular "yo mama" insult "fat joke" is: "Yo mama is so fat, when she went skydiving she caused an eclipse." The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on August…
“Why didn’t you take the bus?” (joke)
A joke about a man who steals a car to get to work is: JUDGE: Why did you steal the car? MAN: I had to get to work.JUDGE: Why didn't you take the bus? MAN: I don't have a driver's…
“Cheerios are donut seeds”
Cheerios cereal has been called "donut seeds" on several images. "Polish Donut Seeds" (Cheerios) were sold in 1979. "There was enough time to sell Cheerios as donut seeds…
“The exact defense chili developed to preserve the species is the exact reason they are devoured”
A saying about the heat of chili peppers was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on August 19, 2017: "Chili peppers must be pretty pissed. The exact defense they developed to preserve the…
“You had one job” (meme)
"You had one job" is a caption frequently given on many images showing obvious fails. There is a website of these images, titled "You Had One Job! Job related fails even kids can get…
“I stole the car because I had to get to work” (joke)
A joke about a man who steals a car to get to work is: JUDGE: Why did you steal the car? MAN: I had to get to work.JUDGE: Why didn't you take the bus? MAN: I don't have a driver's…
“How does the man on the moon cut his hair?”/“Eclipse it.”
A riddle about the moon is: Q: How does the man in/on the moon cut his hair?A: Eclipse it. The "eclipse it"/"he clips it" pun has been cited in print since at least 1984. 16…
“Parking a single car doesn’t require much space. But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot”
A parking joke is: "Parking a single car doesn’t require much space. But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot." The joke was posted on Twitter by Mr. Drinks On Me on March 26,…
“Oh my God, a talking sausage!” (joke)
"The sausage joke" -- as the joke is sometimes called -- is really an anti-joke: "Two sausages are frying in a pan. One sausage says, 'Boy, it sure is hot in here.' The…
“How does the man in the moon cut his hair?”/“Eclipse it.”
A riddle about the moon is: Q: How does the man in/on the moon cut his hair?A: Eclipse it. The "eclipse it"/"he clips it" pun has been cited in print since at least 1984. 16…
“What did the bunny say when he had only thistles to eat?”/“Thistle have to do!”
An animal riddle (frequently told at Easter) is: Q: What did the bunny say when he had only thistles to east?A: "Thistle have to do!" The "thistle" pun has been cited in print…