“A microwave is an easy bake oven for adults”
The Easy-Bake Oven is a toy that was introduced in 1963 to help teach young children to cook. A microwave oven is sometimes said to be a similar toy for older individuals. "Our microwave is…
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“Futons are the sporks of the furniture world”
A futon (a sofa and a bed) has been compared to a spork (a spoon and a fork) -- something that tries to do two things and does neither well. "'To me, a futon (or hide-a-bed) is just the…
“Why is it easy to give a speech to an audience of strippers?” (joke)
"Imagine the audience naked" is a saying about performing or giving a speech. A joke on this saying was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on October 19, 2017: Q: Why is it easy to give a…
“Bacon Mac ‘n’ Cheese is basically just trashy Carbonara”
"Bacon mac 'n' cheese" has been called a "sad Carbonara" or a "trash(y) Carbonara." "I found that adding bacon bits to microwavable, gluten-free…
“Leadership requires a vision of the world that doesn’t yet exist and the ability to communicate it”
"Leadership requires two things: a vision of the world that does not yet exist and the ability to communicate it" is a quote that has been printed on several images. British/American…
“Raviolis are like lasagna pockets”
Raviolis have sometimes been described as "lasagna packets." "Ravioli is just lasagna pockets" was posted on Twitter on February 10, 2017. "Raviolis are like lasagna…
“If you have ever eaten chocolate money, you have bit coins”
Chocolate money had nothing to do with "bitcoin" -- which is not a "bit" coin -- but there have been several jokes. "The last time I Bitcoin, I was eating chocolate money…
“Speed bumps are just expensive inverted potholes”
Speed bumps are sometimes called "inverted potholes." " Does that refer to the inverted pot holes, otherwise know as speed humps?" was posted on the newsgroup aus.transport on…
“Why did the Jewish man walk into a stop sign?”/“He wasn’t an observant Jew.”
A non-observant Jew doesn't follow all Jewish laws (such as kosher laws), but it doesn't necessarily mean that a person is not observant to all details. "Has there ever been a joke…
“A quesadilla is essentially a grilled cheese sandwich”
The Mexican "quesadilla" has been compared to the American "grilled cheese sandwich." "In its simplest form, a quesadilla is a grilled cheese sandwich," the Calgary…
“If you have ever eaten chocolate money, you have bit coins”
Chocolate money had nothing to do with "bitcoin" -- which is not a "bit" coin -- but there have been several jokes. "The last time I Bitcoin, I was eating chocolate money…
“How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?”/“You can almost hear them.”
A clarinet riddle is: Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?A: You can almost hear them. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. Klosi JokesCategory: Music jokesDate Added:…
“How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?”/“Put him in your back yard.”
A dog riddle is: Q: How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard? A: Put him in your back yard. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1991. “How do you stop a dog from barking…
“Why did the dog cross the road?”/“To get to the barking lot.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A dog version is: Q: Why did the dog cross the road? A: To get to the…
“I’ve been cutting carbs lately—with a pizza cutter”
People trying to lose weight often "cut carbs" (carbohydrates) from their diets, but this does not mean physically cutting them. "This is how I cut carbs (takes a pizza cutter to the…
“What do you call a nightmare about paper?”/“A bad ream.”
A nightmare is a bad dream; a nightmare about paper might be "a bad ream." "Awful nightmare last night. I dreamt I'd dropped precisely 500 sheets of A4 paper everywhere. Just a…
“How do you stop a dog from barking in the back yard?”/“Put it in the front yard.”
A dog riddle is: Q: Who do you stop a dog from barking in the back yard?A: Put it in the front yard. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1983. “How do you keep a dog from barking in…
“My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy…so I got drunk”
"My wife gave me £50 and said spend it on something that makes me look sexy. So I got drunk on Jack Daniels" was posted on Twitter on December 21, 2011. "Whilst out xmas shopping…
“How do you stop a dog from barking in the street?”/“Put him in a barking lot!”
A car riddle was published in Bennett Cerf's Book of Animal Riddles (1964): Q: What is a good way to keep a dog off the street?A: Put him in a barking lot! "How do you stop a dog from…
“How do you stop a dog howling in the back of a car?”/“Put him in the front.”
A car riddle was published in Bennett Cerf's Book of Animal Riddles (1964): Q: How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of a car?A: Have him sit in front with you.…