“Gyms are just tailors for birthday suits”
A gym has sometimes been called a tailor for a "birthday suit." " I'm 'bout to hit the gym and tailor my birthday suit" was posted on Twitter on May 12, 2010.…
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“What did one keyboard say to the other keyboard?”/“Sorry, you’re not my type.”
A keyboard riddle is: Q: What did one keyboard say to the other keyboard?A: "Sorry, you're not my type." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2002. 23 February 2002, The…
“How do you make a violin sound like a viola?”/“Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.”
A viola joke is: Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on July 8, 1992. “How do you…
“Salt is just tasty rocks”
Do people eat rocks? "Salt is definitely a very tasty rock" was posted on Twitter on November 1, 2010. "It's weird to think salt is really tasty crushed up rock" was posted…
“What do frogs drink?”/“Hot croako.”
A frog riddle is: Q: What do frogs drink?A: Hot croako. The "hot croako"/"hot cocoa" joke was posted on the newsgroup sci.geo.geology on June 28, 2000. “What is a frog’s…
“What’s the difference between male spaghetti and female spaghetti?”/“Meatballs.”
A spaghetti riddle is: Q: What's the difference between male spaghetti and female spaghetti?A: Meatballs. "What do female spaghetti enjoy? Meatballs" was posted on Twitter on January…
“What’s the best kind of grass for your front yard?”/“Emo grass because it cuts itself.”
An “emo” joke has been told on several images: Q: What’s the best kind of grass for your front yard?A: Emo grass because it cuts itself. "Emo grass -- the grass that cuts itself"…
“Successful pianists know the key to success”
People often seek the key (or keys) to success. "Successful pianists know the key to success" is a joke that was posted on the website Pun of the Day on August 10, 2017. Other sayings…
“What’s a skunk’s favorite game in school?”/“Show and smell.”
A riddle about "show and tell" is: Q: What's a skunk's favorite game in school?A: Show and smell. "Why would you bring a pet skunk to school? For show and smell!" was…
“Ketchup makes bad food better but good food worse”
Adding ketchup to food makes it taste like ketchup. That makes bad food taste better, but it makes good food taste worse. "Ketchup makes bad food taste good.... but good food taste bad #Hmmm…
Battle of the ‘Burbs (Long Island Nets vs. Westchester Knicks)
The "Battle of the 'Burbs" (New York City suburbs) is when basketball's Long Island Nets (the development league team of the Brooklyn Nets) play against the Westchester Knicks…
Hotumn (hot + autumn)
"Hotumn" (hot + autumn) is any unseasonably hot period in the fall season. "It's Hotumn" was printed in the Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland) on November 6, 2003.…
“If you’re on death row, request Olive Garden’s ‘Never Ending Pasta Bowl’ as a last meal”
A joke is that an inmate on death row should order a last meal from the Olive Garden restaurant. "If you were on death row, what would your last meal be? — Olive Garden's Never Ending…
“Zeno walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version based on a paradox by the Greek philosopher Zeno of Elea (ca. 490–430 BC) is:…
Sweatember (sweat + September)
"Sweatember" (sweat + September) has been printed on several images. The term means that September is a month to sweat -- either to sweat off the pounds by working out, or because…
Baogel (cha siu bao + bagel)
A "baogel" (cha siu bao + bagel) is a Cantonese barbecue-pork-filled bagel. "Did you know that it's international Baogel Day?!? It's when Bao & Bagel fall in love"…
“No matter how many lasagnas you stack, ultimately it’s always just one lasagna”
A lasagna can have many layers, but still be just one lasagna. This saying was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on October 24, 2017: "No matter how many lasagna’s you stack on top of each…
“What do you call a herd of masturbating cows?”/“Beef Stroganoff.”
A cow riddle is: Q: What do you call a herd of masturbating cows?A: Beef Stroking Off (Stroganoff). The joke was posted on the newsgroup net.jokes on September 22, 1982. Wikipedia: Beef…
“I just sneezed while eating alphabet soup. Took the words right out of my mouth”
Alphabet soup has been the subject of many puns. "Just puked up the alphabet soup I ate for dinner. Took the words right out of my mouth" was posted on Twitter on May 22, 2010. "I…
“What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?”/“I’m a cashew.”
A cashew riddle is: Q: What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?A: "I'm a cashew (catch you)." The joke was posted on Twitter by Spooky Dad Jokes on September 14,…